"Cole, why do you think your loyal bodyguard of all these years suddenly wants to kill you?" Detective LaLouf repeated. I had not answered her yet; there was nothing I could say that would be honest and good for me. Besides, Cleetus was chomping at the bit to speak himself.

"Well, detective," he cut in with an angry energy, "Cole is right-I have every intention of killing him. It stems back to last night's memorial service. Martha Ann had quite a compelling theory about Cole over here and presented it to all of us at the event."

"Is this about why they fought?" the detective pulled out her notepad from her back pocket. Incidentally, she had it with her at all times. "I believe both you and Cole indicated Martha Ann having some animosity towards him."

"It is, detective." Cleetus stared at me the entire time as if waiting for me to react. But what could I do?

"Now, I have here in my notes, Cleetus, that you stated the fight between Cole and Martha Ann wasn't a big deal and in light of the existence of these mecha dragons, Cole is all but cleared of any involvement in the horrific fire that burned down Martha Ann's establishment."

"Well, yes, he didn't cause the fire," Cleetus's voice sort of wavered, "but he did something far worse."

"But you yesterday swore to me that Cole was a wonderful human being," conuntered LaLouf, "now you're telling me he's not."

"Well, I...that's because I wanted to ensure I was the one who made Cole pay for his crime!"

"So you're admitting to lying to a law enforcement agent for the purpose of vigilante justice?" the detective cocked an eyebrow.

Laurence crossed his arms. "Sweetie, we haven't heard what Cole's supposedly done to warrant this. Cleetus maybe had good reason."

"Shh!" LaLouf turned to her husband. "I'm working. We will get there when we get there."

"-Yes, okay, I lied to you last night," Cleetus confessed, but then firmly pointed a long accusatory finger at me. "But take a good look at Cole Rapp, everyone- he's the man who blew up Earth fifteen years ago!"

A silence fell on the room. For once, Dr. Snively did not let out one of his now characteristic surprised farts. Everyone clearly was taken aback.

"Martha Ann had figured it out after years of pondering," continued Cleetus, "and had directly confronted Cole with that information."

"And Cole confessed?" Detective LaLouf turned to look at me but I remained quiet.

"No, but he's all but confessed," answered Cleetus, "As you said, I have been by Cole's side for years. I know Cole well. I know his tells. And though he's said nothing, I know that he's to blame. His silence is as good as a confession to me."

"Well, Cole?" said the detective, almost hesistent to ask, "is it true? Are you the one who blew up Earth?"

I tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. I said nothing.

"See?" Cleetus exclaimed as if he won the lottery, "this silence all but says it!"

"It...it can't be, " said Dr. Snively, wide-eyed. "I spent an evening with Cole. He seems like such a nice apathetic man. Plus, he seems to love cats. Why would he intentionally blow up a planet full of cats?"

He was right. I did like cats and had never thought of my accident in that light. The guilt of the many furry paws that I had destroyed instantly weighted heavy on me.

"Did anyone here lose a loved one on that fateful day? Ever miss your hometown?" Cleetus sounded like he was trying to rile up a crowd at a concert. "This is the man you can blame for all that being lost!"

"Cole, did you do it? Was it you?" Detective LaLouf pressed again.

I finally found the strength to make a noise.

"Yeash," I said quickly, fighting back emotions. It came out a garbled nonsense word, but it was enough to validate Cleetus, who took the opportunity to dive at me, wrapping his hands around my neck.

"I KNEW IT!" he screamed, "I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU, COLE!"

He, by all accounts, had a perfect death grip on my throat. But as his hands remained there, I felt no change in pressure or tightness. Cleetus LOOKED like he was trying his damnest to choke me but he just...wasn't.

"Cleetus, get off him-....never mind," LaLouf made a cursory effort to free me but instead stood back to watch him fail.

"GOD DAMMIT!" he cursed, trying to tighten his hold to no avail. Durdumples' magic had worked- Cleetus Wu would not be able to kill me.

'...this is just kind of awkward, you with your hands on my neck not doing anything," I remarked. In frustration Cleetus let go and stepped back, cursing and kicking the air all the while.

"So, you did it," said Laurence, surprisingly calm and monotone.

"I..." I had never really spoken about it before out loud, and, as Cleetus showed, people were still quite shaken up by it. I didn't know how to proceed.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS ASSIGNED TO PROTECT THE DESTROYER OF AMERICA," Cleetus was yelling as he threw punches and kicks at the air.

"Wait, so then is that why Cleetus was assigned as your bodyguard?" Detective LaLouf correctly deduced, "because you were hired to blow up the Earth? And people in the right places promised to protect you?"

Cleetus seemed to freeze at that revelation. He turned to look at Detective LaLouf and then at me, but now it was his turn to say nothing.

"...Y-yeah," I managed to spit out a little clearer this time, "I...they gave me a note..." I rummaged in my pocket to pull out the letter I had received from the government explaining that I was absolved of any responsibility. Sure, I had still pressed the button to detonate too early, but the explosives had been planted on orders.

Detective LaLouf took the letter from me as Laurence, Dr. Snively, and Cleetus crowded around to read over her shoulder. It was a torturous few minutes as they did. Finally, they all looked up at me.

"I mean, you're still pretty awful." said Cleetus begrudingly, "but it does seem...you had orders..."

"But why with all the people still on the planet?" wondered aloud Laurence, "Weren't the people who wrote this letter still there?"

I nodded slowly, "They...they had hired me to plant the explosives...and said there were going to be some casualties...but I was just...doing my job..." I bit my tongue just short of admitting that my pressing the button when I did was unintentional.

But it seemed almost like LaLouf figured it out, albeit in a different direction.

"They must have accidentally set the bombs off themselves, then," she mused aloud. "Cole planted them by orders but then there must have been a malfunction that set them off ahead of schedule."

"Surely they wouldn't have stayed on Earth if they felt it was going to blow," reasoned Dr. Snively.

Again, I nodded. It wasn't purely the truth, but worked for me. "Yes, it was an accident," I said, not being dishonest in that statement.

Cleetus was still shaking his head in the corner. "I can't believe my commanding officer assigned me to guard a murderer..."

"You...you don't have to guard me anymore," I volunteered, "I guess the cat's out of the bag. It was an accident." Cleetus shot me a fierce glance as LaLouf handed back the letter.

"Look, now that that's resolved," said Laurence, "it seems like we have more pressing matters. Mecha dragons almost certainly are headed towards New Earth One. It's only a matter of time. If we don't figure out how to stop them humanity truly is doomed; we do not want our destruction to be total this time."

"If only Durdumples had had a stronger signal," mused Dr. Snively, who then returned to the spirit summoner. "Maybe I can work on figuring out how to charge it right now and bring Durdumples back!"

"But the planet of Mars may be totally destroyed by that time," argued Laurence, "we need to act now, somehow, to at least slow the mecha dragons down or distract them or something until we can come up with a better plan."

"Well,' I said slowly, "didn't Durdumples say they're probably week against water?"

"Yes, but we've also discussed how we don't have enough water to really put up much of a fight."

"What about the polar ice caps?" I offered, "if we could get some explosives, I could use that reaction to melt some water. Maybe enough to at least buy Dr. Snively some time to call back up Durdumples and see if he could use his indirect spirit magic to wish the dragons away?"

Everyone paused a moment to ponder that suggestion.