THE FEY : It is now 7 in the morning. If you don’t get up now, you may never get up again!

Well, that’s the most threatening wake up call I’ve ever heard. I want to groan and roll back over; 7 AM is a bit early for me, but I know that sleep isn’t going to welcome me quite so easily. I went to bed ridiculously early last night, so I guess I shouldn’t be bothered by waking up early.

Anyway, I have lots of other things to be bothered about.

I crawl out of the bed and worm my way into the shower; the bed was so ungodly soft that it actually messed up my back.

The water from the shower is hot, and never ending. I stand under it until I figure it’s worked it’s healing magic on my back, though it’s still got a lot of work to do on my psyche.

It’s almost 8 AM by the time I’m done showering and getting dressed. I figure I might as well make the bed, and while I’m at it I tidy my desk--which means hiding the list I made of my fellow captives. I look around for other chores to do, as if I have some reason for wanting to stay in my room instead of facing the reality of the kidnapping slash attempted murder scenario.

But that would be totally ridiculous!

Yeah...Ridiculous…

I swallow the lump in my throat and head out. There’s no time like the present.

I leave my room, and try to figure out where to go from there. Before I can decide on anything, the tablet in my pocket pings.

It is considered rude and wasteful to summon The Host without an express request or question. Only worthwhile conversations are permitted.

I wonder if that has anything to do with Kyo and Yui teasing The Fey…

Anyway, I’ve got a whole day ahead of me where I don’t think about The Fey, if I’ve got anything to say about it.

It’s been an hour and change since the morning announcement, so I don’t know if anyone else is still in their rooms, but I give Alena’s door a knock to see if she’s around.

She peeks out from behind her door, opening it barely by a crack.

ALENA : Who is it…?

I kinda suspected as much. If I’m afraid of everything going on, she’s gotta be 4 times as afraid. Minimum.

SHUJI: Oh, just me! Er--that is to say, Shuji. I thought I’d check on you!

ALENA: Shuji? Why?

SHUJI: Why check on you? I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you? Okay? You seemed pretty shaken up yesterday, which, don’t get me wrong, is very understandable.

ALENA: So what?

SHUJI: It’s just what friends do?

ALENA: Friends.

SHUJI: Yup. If you want me to leave you alone that’s okay, I was gonna check on Ozaki-kun next.

ALENA: Was he shaken too?

SHUJI: Less than you, that’s for sure, but he’s a nice guy and I want to make friends with people. Is that weird?

ALENA: …

SHUJI: ……

ALENA: Yes.

SHUJI: [Laughs.] Well then I guess I’m a little weird.

ALENA: [Smiling.] I am too. Can I come with?

SHUJI: Of course!

She leaves her room and we cross the hall to Lani’s door. After some knocking and waiting, we figure out he’s not there and head to the dining room. As soon as I set foot in the dining room, my stomach growls. I mentally rub my hands together: it’s breakfast time, baby! The most important meal of the day! Also the one I know how to cook the best, I’m pretty sure.

The dining room is half empty. Kyo, Yui, Katherine, Roxxy, Fumi, and Bo all lounge around the table. Katherine is sprawled across two chairs, which I guess makes sense considering she’s the size of an Amazon warrior, while everyone else sits in one chair at a time, making her look like a lounging king in a fuzzy pink outfit.

SHUJI: Hey guys!

KYO : [Howdy…]

YUI: Saji-san and Agyros-san, welcome.

ALENA : [Blank stare.] Hello.

SHUJI: Where’s everyone else?

FUMI: Mm, Heiji and some of the others are in the lounge. I think some people haven’t gotten up yet? There’s honestly not a lot to do around here, so I don’t blame them…

KATHERINE: Except murder.

FUMI: Uh, haha, y-yeah…

An awkward silence falls.

KYO : [ Yawn.] I had really hoped we could wait until after breakfast to bring up, y’know, the dark underbelly of the mansion.

SHUJI: Oh, you haven’t eaten yet?

I’m willing to jump on any conversation topic that isn’t about death right now.

ROXXY: No! And I’m starving!

ALENA: Then...eat?

ROXXY: Believe me, sister, I tried. Who knew how hard it was to scramble eggs?

FUMI : [holding back laughter] Rose-san put vinegar instead of soy sauce in the eggs, and while we tried to make a new batch, the pan we had on the stove started smoking.

KATHERINE: If the mansion burns down, does that count as damaging the fairy thing?

ROXXY: Shh! We stopped because of uhh...safety...concerns? I’m really, like, super bad at cooking.

KYO: A total disaster. I was taught to be an amateur pizzaiolo in Italy one summer, but there’s no wood fired oven, and pizza for breakfast is a little much…

BO: Human food is difficult to cook, okay? Like, there’s always fire and knives and yeesh, it’s not something an extra-terrestrial is really prepared for...

YUI: Unfortunately, none of us here specialized in any kind of cooking, so we’re at quite a loss.

SHUJI: [Laughing.] That’s hilarious, but don’t worry about it.

I go into the kitchen without another word. Alena follows me like a ghost, which I guess I should be used to after almost a day of it yesterday.

Let’s see… I could do something basic, like eggs. I could do something even more basic, like plain rice. I could just microwave something.

But since none of them know how to cook, and I guess I sorta do, I feel like I should give them something nice. After all, we’re all stuck in a murder house together. Maybe a nice breakfast will help people understand that killing is a bad thing.

I feel like a genius, pulling eggs and chicken out of the fridge. Why hasn’t the law and order system figured out breakfast as a crime prevention tool yet?

It doesn’t take long for me to put together a couple of bowls of oyakodon with Alena’s extremely attentive help. We work in silence; she sets out bowls and spoons rice into each while I set the chicken and egg to simmer.

SHUJI: So, do you cook?

ALENA: No.

SHUJI: Then what are you doing right now?

ALENA : [Smiling.] ...Helping.

SHUJI: Where’d you learn to do that?

ALENA: My mom cooked for our family. I’m oldest, so I help. Why garden if you’re not going to eat with it?

SHUJI: I mean, hypothetically, flowers are nice.

ALENA: Mm. They are. But vegetables are better.

SHUJI: And there’s nothing like fresh veggies for a home cooked meal. What’s your mom like?

This is the first time I’ve gotten her to open up at all, so I might as well push it as far as I can, right?

ALENA: Beautiful. Yours?

SHUJI: Oh, I think the food’s ready. Can you bring over the bowls?

We bring out the food to the dining room and place the bowls in front of everyone.

ROXXY: Oh my gosh, Shu-chan, you’re a chef!

BO : Rhish ish amazhing!

Bo’s already face deep in the oyakodon, and has become almost impossible to understand. But then again, what do I know? Maybe it’s an alien dialect.

KYO: They’re not kidding, this isn’t bad.

YUI: It’s certainly superior to anything we could have made with our limited experience. Alas, even with our skill sets combined we could not make a decent breakfast.

SHUJI: Hey, next time? There’s a toaster in there. Just make some toast, it’s pretty hard to screw up.

ROXXY: What, and give up on a treat like this?

FUMI: If we’ll be here for a while, you might as well teach us to cook!

BO: Oh no!

KYO: What’s wrong?

BO: We’ll make to make some for the lazy-bugs who did not wake and join us!

ALENA: There’s more.

YUI: What was that?

SHUJI: She said there’s more food. There’s still rice in the pot and the rest is on the stove still. They can help themselves.

KYO: If we can all be trusted not to light ourselves on fire as soon as we step foot in there, of course.

SHUJI: I’ll supervise if I have to, jeez.

The jovial mood is interrupted by Miki entering the room, looking full of righteous fury.

MIKI: What are you idiots doing?!

KATHERINE: Eating…?

KYO: Dan-san! Saji-san made breakfast for all of us, and you’re free to join us!

MIKI : What, you think I can’t make my own goddamn food?

YUI: Well, can you?

Miki looks frustrated but says nothing.

KYO: Neither can we, except for our dear friend here! Pull up a seat, take a load off, enjoy yourself!

MIKI: So, you’re all trapped in a murder house and you think it’s totally safe to just nosh on food someone else made you while nobody was looking?! You’re just asking to get poisoned!

ROXXY: It’s not like nobody was looking! Lena-chan was with him!

ALENA: ...Lena-chan?

MIKI: What, like they aren’t totally in cahoots? Aren’t you? Aren’t you in cahoots?

ALENA: What is...cahoots?

SHUJI: We’re friends! We made breakfast together because we’re friends!

KATHERINE: Sounds like cahoots to me…

ROXXY: What? Don’t push your food away! How dare you!

FUMI: Dan-san, why don’t you lay off them and go do something else?

KYO: Isn’t your attitude a little inconsistent, Dan-san? Yesterday you said nobody here was, what was it?

YUI: Quote Dumb Enough Unquote to kill anyone else.

KYO: Yeah, what’s with the shift is all I want to know.

MIKI: It’s just called common sense! The more we learn about this place, the more dangerous it seems! Did they tell you about the rat poison in the cupboards?

ROXXY: These two have been nothing but nice--if a little creepy with the staring, no offense Lena-chan--to us! If you’re going to be rude, go be rude somewhere else!

KATHERINE: They have a right to their opinion, Rose-san.

ROXXY: And I have a right to defend my friends from constant verbal abuse!

ALENA: ...friends…

MIKI: Whatever, you gargantuan freak! I’m trying to look out for you and stop you from getting. Poisoned. I’m a good fucking person, I don’t know what the hell you are.

Miki twirls and storms out, leaving Roxxy on the brink of tears with frustration. After a moment. Katherine gets up and follows them. Before I can collect my thoughts and reassure everyone that I had no intentions of poisoning anyone, Heiji wanders in with a grin.

HEIJI: Oh hey, ‘sup! What’s with the mood in here?

FUMI: It was--

HEIJI: Oh man, belay that, what is that smell? My mouth is straight up watering, who did that?

KYO: Oyakodon! There’s some in the kitchen, help yourself!

Heiji half-sprints half-gallops into the kitchen and comes out with a bowl of food, his cheeks so full he looks like a chipmunk. It’s all I can do to keep from laughing. If nothing else, I’m glad people like my cooking. And it’s nice to have Heiji here to bring back some normalcy after Miki’s tantrum.

FUMI: What’s up, Heiji? Get bored?

HEIJI: Yah. Nishimuraya-kun and Noro-chan were chillin’ in the lounge, so I hung out with them. Nishi-kun really does not dig my energy, I guess. He’s a surly dude. It was us, that goth chick, and the one with crazy weird fashion. What’s their name? It’s like, nouns.

BO: 「Pure Virtual」-sama! Aren’t they interesting?

HEIJI: Wow, you can do that stuff with your mouth too?

BO: It’s ‘cuz I’m alien.

HEIJI: Foreigners are so cool. Anyway, we were kickin’ it in the cushy chairs while the goth one made dirty jokes and I tried to start the fire.

FUMI: You probably shouldn’t be lighting fires indoors…

HEIJI: In the fireplace, I mean! The Fey came by and told us she’d light it if we asked nicely…

KYO: I imagine nobody asked nicely?

ROXXY: With Nishi-chan there I can only imagine she got cussed out and maybe something thrown at her.

HEIJI: Haha, yup! He threw his slipper at her!

FUMI: Wow, you guessed it!

ROXXY: I want to like, say that I’m super smart for guessing that but he’s a teensy bit predictable, right?

YUI: I really hope Noro-san does something about his behavior…

HEIJI: She threatened to tie him to a chair but the goth one got all worked up about that, so she didn’t. What’s up with you guys? I saw Dan-san take off in a huff with the giant pink girl following after.

ROXXY: UGH!

FUMI: We had a baby argument.

HEIJI : Oh sick, like an argument about babies?

YUI : I believe she means a small argument.

HEIJI: Aw, That’s lame. Who the heck cooked this? It’s so good! I tried making myself brekkie earlier but there wasn’t any protein powder and I couldn’t find a blender so I gave up.

ALENA: Shuji-san made it.

SHUJI: With some help! Did you ever get that fire started?

HEIJI: Nah, I was stuck using the goth girl’s lighter and it just wasn’t takin’ to the wood. I guess somebody’s gonna have to stomach bein’ nice to The Fey.

SHUJI: I can give it a shot.

KYO: You can cook AND light fires? We’ve got a modern day Da Vinci on our hands.

YUI: Impressive, he has the skills of a standard caveman.

SHUJI: Hey, cavemen could do lots of cool stuff. Did you know they just chased animals to death sometimes?

ROXXY: What? That’s bananas!

SHUJI: Haha, yeah. They just walked until the animals got too tired to keep going.

BO: Humans are savage…

ALENA : That’s scary.

SHUJI: Anyway, I’ll go over there to see if I can get a fire going. Wish me luck!

ROXXY: If you see Nishi-chan remember there’s no shame in hitting him.

FUMI: Rose-san!

ROXXY: Remember there’s some shame in hitting him!

FUMI: Better…

SHUJI: Don’t hit Nishimuraya, got it.

KYO: At least, if you do, feel a little bad about it.

SHUJI: Hey now, I can feel bad about just anything I do if I try. I’ll see you guys later.