“Don’t leave me! Please!”

I hear Rose screaming in the distance. She’s following me persistently, so I run randomly.

I don’t know why I’m running away. I couldn’t stand it. Though it’s ridiculous to be running away from a girl in a forest filled with monsters.

“Please, come back! Uwahhh!”

I can barely hear Rose. If I keep running, I can continue my journey and forget about everything. But I can’t. There’s a void opening in my heart. I’m scared to come back. And I’m going crazy the more time I waste here hesitating.

Just what’s going on? Their problem is nothing compared to saving Cassandra, so why does it make me act like this? In the first place, why do I care about a stranger? My life will be in danger the more time I spend with them. I need to leave.

Still, I go back and follow the cries.

“Rose. Rose!”

She didn’t want to do it. That’s the reason I feel like this. I don’t know why she refuses her brother, but nothing would have happened if she had sex with him. However, there’s no way that’s right. She doesn’t need to if she doesn’t want to.

“Rose!”

I hurry back. I search for them, though I can’t find them. I pay attention to the sounds and follow a squishy sound on my left. What I encounter is too gruesome for me. There is a monster eating Rose.

Blinded by rage, I take out my saber and cut the monster’s head.

“Rose…”

Please, no…

…

When I recover consciousness, Rose isn’t there. There’s a splat of blood as proof that she was there.

This is the worst. Do you also think it’s my fault? Yeah, how can I be so stupid? A lot of monsters surrounded us. How brainless do I have to be to think kids will survive here? What happened before was a miracle, it’s impossible for it to repeat.

I stare at my saber in agony. Not only did I kill a monster, but I also let a kid die and saw a terrible thing. All because I ran away.

As tempting as it is to use my saber to punish myself, there’s something I have to do first.

I wonder if he’s dead too.

I follow the trail we left and find him possessed by a monster. The only thing I can do is run away, again.

Any other adventurer would kill him. He’s dangerous because he can hide in cities or other areas and kill people with ease. The correct thing to do is to kill him. There will be more victims if I let him roam free. But as I said, I’m a fake adventurer.

Only crazy people would want to be an adventurer. Seeing a little girl beat up and with a penis inside her, saving her, and then seeing her being eaten by a monster. Who would want to live seeing such things, or remembering them? I certainly do not.

Though as much as I want to avoid it, I can’t ignore the cause of this, Benson. Is there a reason I don’t want to continue this line of thought? There is, and I don’t like it. You think Rose was right in refusing, don’t you? But that led to her death. She would be alive if she let her brother fuck her. She only had to open her legs and be done with it, as I do. It isn’t a big deal. You just have to endure the pain, and if you’re super lucky, it’ll feel good. It may be scary at first, seeing how hard and big their members become. But the body is ready for it.

Letting him inside her is the correct choice. It’s what I do all the time. She’d be alive, just like me.

SO WHY DO I THINK SHE’S RIGHT IN REFUSING HIM AND HE’S IN THE WRONG!!!

I slam my saber on a tree over and over.

“Ha, ha, ha.”

He was her brother, family. Having sex is love, and there’s no love superior to the one a family gives. If I had a family, I’d let them do it with me as much as they want. Them wanting to have sex with me would be proof that they love me. I sometimes wonder how my father would do it when I do it with other men.

That’s why I can’t understand why she refused. I’d be overjoyed. But even if I don’t understand it and I’d accept it, I think she was in the right. It drives me nuts to see that she’s dead, and it’s my fault.

I can’t accept it. I don’t want to continue thinking about it, but this head of mine can’t stop.

Why did I run? ‘Cause that situation is familiar to me. What situation? Someone wanting to have sex with me and doing everything in their power to achieve it. And I hated how she took a different path, one where she didn’t relent. If a little girl can do it, what about me? Though I don’t like how it ended.

I saw another way of living my life, and I also saw what it leads to. Suffering, pain, and death. And my cowardice led to Rose’s death. In a way, I killed my hopes.

To make things worse, I killed for the first time.

I’m scared. I let my emotions overwhelm me to the point I killed. What if it happens again? What if next time I kill a human? I don’t want any of this.

To prevent this from happening again, I’ll continue letting anyone have sex with me, I’ll help kids thoroughly, and I’ll bury my emotions so I don’t kill again.