My eyes flutter opened along with an aching pain in my body. I tried to shift but I felt a hand restricting my movements. I bit my lips to bear this repugnant and seething feeling. I turned and saw Christian face so close to mine. My heart skipped a beat as I shifted myself away from him as far as I can but his grip didn't let me go very far. Feeling disgusted, I looked at him with loathe. But his eyes were closed as he was sleeping peacefully.

By destroying my sleep you are enjoying a lull?

I noticed his flawless features that are so appealing that one can bend itself before it. The looks mastered in capturing anyone just by looking at them beguilingly. As if he was made absolute.

But no matter how exquisite he is, If he omits feelings, he is nothing but a puppet.

I grit my teeth as I found myself admiring his prepossessing distinctive attribute. I put his hand away and turned my face away from him and sat up.

I turned my head away and saw a pill of painkiller again on the nightstand.

I mentally shouted because I know he deliberately made my body ache from last night's events just so I can accept his pity. He is an insensible guy who does things which amuse him and now he is playing with me just for his entertainment.

I was wrong to think that he was showing compassion. He is just indulging himself in my misery. He is just taking his fun out of it because that's how cold this guy is.

My thoughts, filled with resentment for him were interrupted when I heard his voice,

"Still don't want it?" He said in that voice which always dismayed me. I know if I don't take it he'll make me. not wanting to feel pain intense than the previous one, I didn't reply to him and picked the pill.

I looked at him and narrowed my eyes at him,

"I don't want it. I am fine." I said coldly and turned away and looked at the pill. Even if I wanted to take it, my ego came in and didn't let me do what he wanted and I know, In the end, I will do what he wants.

"Don't lie, I know you are in pain." He said as I turned again and looked at him and replied, "Because of you."

"That's what you signed for." He yawned and put his hand under his head and looked at me with a smirk. The obscenity in his voice made me revolt as I became stubborn and didn't take the pill.

'I won't do whatever you want unless it involves intercourse beside this, don't expect subjugation from me.'

That's what I thought but I know it, A single dire look of his is enough for my soul to give up on my body and I was left with no choice but to obey.

We remained like this, He, observing me and I was looking at the pill thinking whether I should take it or not. Accepting my defeat because the sensation of pain is too much, I took the pill and laid back and faced the wall and covered myself with the duvets and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

***

It's been a week of our marriage and my resentment and disgust for him never cease, The feeling of being able to bear that agony, I can't feel it. This anguish burned my body to ashes. The utter ending of my dream of having a love life, The halt of my smiles, the shattering of my hope. Feeling like a lifeless doll, that is used for fulfilling desires, I sat in the garden staring at the vibrant coloured flowers with a void look.

Losing myself in the consternation, I put my chin on my knees and remained like that.

No matter how many times I told myself that I have done this all for us For Eugene's sake; but I can't shake off this feeling of distress. I gave what I always want to mother, a house. But I can't be at ease. We may have escaped from our ordeals but I am still in despair. I know that I am stuck right now, but if Eugene recovers, I'll run away. I can't stay here. I am doing this for him and if he recovers, there's no reason for me to be here and I'll run away.

"Sophie, Please sit on the chair instead of the ground," Gwen said dragging me out from my thoughts. After struggling for a while, I finally made her call me by my name.

My hazel eyes that were filled with dreams and hope are now replaced by an only emotion- Emptiness.

I am lost in the bottomless pit of uncertainties of whether my choice to marry him was right or wrong. Well, Even if it was wrong, I am stuck and can't do anything about it. I am strayed just like a fallen star. It seems like all the pain and tears are in my fate.

I closed my eyes and let the cold breeze brush against my skin and let myself flee in this brief moment of heavenly solace. This is the only place that can make me feel like I am not chained. Because inside that mansion I am suffocated, These terrorizing apparitions obstruct my mind.

I want to go and meet Mother and Eugene too...

"Ma'am." My sweet moment was ruined when I heard Samuel's voice. I frowned and looked at him, "Sir is calling for you in his studies." My throat dried as my body tensed upon hearing that. Swallowing hard, I stood up and went to his studies with my shaky legs and knocked,

"Come in," His commanding voice came.

I pushed the door open and closed it behind me. He stopped his work and looked at me for a second and said, "Come here." I walked closer and stood in front of him and looked down. His dark eyes scanned me as I convulsed under his sinister gaze. He leaned back and motioned me to sit on his laps. "Sit." He ordered. I kept looking down and bit my lips not wanting to do it. Being irked by my deficiency of response, He pulled me into his laps as I gasped and tried to get away. He held me close and looked at me with extensive fury as my heart skipped a beat and I stilled. He clenched my jaws and pulled me close as his infuriated eyes bore into mine petrified one.

"Don't you dare to resist me ever again." He hissed as my petite form which was consumed by dread gave him a tentative nod. He let go of my jaws as I let out rapid breaths and continued to shudder. He turned his attention to his work as I sat there embarrassed.

"You have done things more undignified than this. This should be considered as nothing." He ridiculed me as tears threatened to fall but I didn't let them and let myself to be humiliated by the weight of his bitter words of actuality. His gaze was fixed upon the screen of his laptop. He was working with his one hand as his other hand moved from my shoulder to my hand. A shiver went down my spine when I felt his cold hands upon me. His hands roamed me freely where he wanted as I felt ashamed because I can't resist him, I have to swallow this inside me. The strong feeling of aversion that always filled me whenever he touched me took over me as I wanted to get away from him. But, I bear that feeling of repulsion and remain motionless.

His hand moved to my thigh as I let out a low-pitched voice of astonishment and he was so pleased with my reaction. His hand stroked my thigh and my heart began to pound. Even though I was wearing jeans, I can still feel the sensation of his touch. His fingers slowly ascended and caused me to shiver. My breath hitched as I arched my back when he pinched it slightly. He stopped his work and looked at me with a smirk,

"You like it?" He teased rubbing the spot as I bit my cheeks and a tear pricked in the corner of my eye. My convulsed form shook her head 'no' and his obnoxious smirk grew wider as he looked at me with those intense emotions that evoke ultimate terror in me.

"Your reaction does the opposite." He snickers. I curled my toes and looked away holding the feeling of shame in me. He sensually rubbed the spot, I convulsed and tried my best to suppress a moan. I involuntarily held his shoulders and lowered my head, protesting the wave of pleasure rushing in me. He let out a quiet laugh upon seeing me this desperate. He finally stopped and leaned back again. He removed his hand from me and smiled wickedly,

"You are free to go." I quickly got up and ran to our room and went to the bathroom. I locked the door as I put my hand over my mouth and let out my cries of misery. I muffled my sobs as I felt like my skin had been ripped off of me. I continued to cry at the fact;

I felt good when he touched me.

"I didn't!"

"I didn't!"

"I didn't like it!"

"I hate it! I hate you!"

I continued to cry as I felt extreme dislike and revulsion for myself to find this disgusting intimacy pleasurable. Tears rolled onto my cheeks as if they'll never stop. I weep at this immense suffering that has broken my tranquillity.

"I didn't like it.." I said as I leaned on the door, letting the tears fall.

I looked down and after a few seconds, I began to scratch where he touched me. I let out loud sobs of dejection.

"I didn't like it."

"I didn't like it."

"I didn't like it."

I repeated those words like a mantra so that they could give consolations to me but to no avail as I began to lacerate my shoulder and arms so that the feeling of being touched by him would be obliterated.

I continued to scratch until red marks were formed all over in my left shoulder and arm. The bruise stings a lot but I bear it and stand up. I wiped my tears and washed my face and walked out as if nothing happened. Without those heartbroken feelings, I went to the garden again and sat on the ground and began to stare at the flowers.

Before I realized, The time flew by and the dreadful time came. As I hid my face in my knees thinking that I have disappeared from the world; receiving a great ecstasy but then Gwen came,

"Sophie, It's dinner time." Not wanting to feel that repulsion, I said without looking up,

"I don't want to eat." I sensed her leaving as I exhaled in relief that she didn't force me to have dinner.

After spending a devilishly long time in the garden, I thought that Christian would be asleep and I decided to go to our room. I stood up and went to our room. I opened the door slowly as the creaking sound of it alarmed me for those tormenting moment from which I thought I earn reprieved from, but no,

How wrong I was...

I entered and closed the door behind me as I looked up, I saw Christian sitting on the chair with his one leg over the other releasing that deadly dominating aura that made my heart thump loudly. I looked at him, moonlight falling on his face enhancing his features. The silhouette of his overpowered form elicited horror in me as I shivered and curled my toes. His tie was missing as his coat was resting on the bed, the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up as the few buttons of his shirt were opened revealing his toned chest. My body froze as I remained still. He gave me a look that deluged me in frights. I gulped as he stood up and walked towards me. The look of the peril of his that made my body to shiver from the devastating thought of facing his lust again was fatal. I tried to prevent myself from trembling by digging my nails in my palm but the tension of this affliction is enormous.

My petrified hazel eyes met his dark orbs that glisten with a look of malevolence in them. He put his hands on either side of me and leaned in. Adrenaline rushed in my veins when I felt his blistery breath on my face.

We continued to look at each other as his eyes flickered with a look of passion but it was concealed by the thick cloud of void emotions which are terrifying me.

"You think you can prevent it?" He said in a fit of rage as the look of passion was replaced by his intensive rage. I closed my eyes and bit my cheek as I startled when he touched my left shoulder. I bit harder because that pain is still tingling on my skin, I felt metallic liquid in my mouth, and it seems like I bit a little harder. Just at that moment, he held my chin and without a warning, he pulled me into a rough kiss. I remained still, not even kissing him back. But he, who was indulging himself in the kiss, his one hand moved to my neck as a shiver went down my spine, He moved his hand in my hairs and pulled them slightly as I let out a soft gasp and he deepened the kiss but when he also taste that metallic liquid, he stopped.

Everything stopped at that moment. It's like a calm before a terrific storm that wreaks havoc so mercilessly that surviving this is beyond my capabilities.

He pulled away and touched his lips that had a slight crimson colour on them. He looked at the blood then at me. He stared at me for an instant but that instant didn't last any longer as he slammed his hands on the wall and I squealed as dread was consuming my body. He leaned in and looked at me with an outraged look as I shut my eyes in fear.

"What did you do?" He growled.

"I-I bit m-my c-cheek a-accidentally." I stuttered in the great apprehension of facing his wrath. My heart beat so fast as if it could leap out of my chest.

"Not accidentally. But because I touched you." He hissed as my quivering form shook her head 'no' and opened my eyes to meet his pitch-black eyes filled with intense fury. The feeling of horror rush through me, giving me a deadly alarm that I have to face this unnerving tribulation.

"You know it that your body, your soul is mine." He said in a low tone and I shuddered in vexation when he emphasized the word 'mine'. I lost my strength that moment and almost lost my balance from the terror that consumed my body and deprived me of energy but luckily I put my hands behind me and rested them on the door that gave me support.

"When I didn't hurt this body..." He said exasperated. You did! You are the one that hurt me the most! I looked at him with my afraid orbs as he leans in and brush his lips against mine and completed his sentence with obscenity like always,

"...as much as I should.. then how could you hurt it?" My petite form continued to convulse as he rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes for a second. Everything calmed down at that moment, the tiny spark of affection was shown in him as we remained like that in the darkroom with our silence that somewhat, for the first time, serene me as I stopped quivering for a second.

"Don't hurt yourself again.." He whispered in a low voice, a hint of hurt was clear in his voice as if me being hurt; hurts him.

"I promised her..." He whispered again as his presence was filled with penitence for I don't know what. Not being able to make, what promise is he talking about and considering it irrelevant, I remained silent.

A strong feeling of compassion emerged from him that made me sway along with it. The reality behind his unfathomable actions is yet to be aware of by me. The soft feeling gave me undesirable solace. I know it isn't gonna last long so I involuntarily let myself to submerge in that feeling of being adorn, even though I shouldn't but still, I did.

Just as I predicted, This brief moment doesn't last any longer than a few seconds and the feeling of repugnance came with a fierce force that evoked the feeling of disgust by his touch in me as usual. His hand moved from my waist to my back. His hands roamed my body giving me a deep dislike for him. And it feels like he did it on purpose so that I can be snapped from the false world I got lost.

His hand moved around me tenderly as always but this time, when he moved from my left arm to my hand I winced in pain. Upon hearing this he moved away and looked at me in bewilderment. I looked down as he turned on the lights and pulled up my sleeves, revealing those bruises that are still red and sting. He continued to look at them as I became numb like a lifeless doll, just a second ago he said not to hurt myself and upon seeing this. I can feel his anger under my fingernails. His apparitions stirred my mind with dread as I remained still. He gave me a seething look and I lost it, I fell on the ground overwhelmed by his scary presence that gave chills to my bones. The facade broke as I can't feel anything but the terror of facing his dark fury.

"Don't.." I whispered with those trembling lips that are vanquished miserably by the ultimate authority he held over me. My body is in the deepest of frights as I crawled back into a corner in dread of facing his menace. Being overcome by his lethal look, my shaky form curled like a ball to prevent him from coming further but, being a predator, he came to me and bent and leaned closer as he nuzzled to my neck. My quivering form let out a gasp filled with apprehensions as tears rolled onto my cheeks without any control over them. I pant and shivered violently when he put his knuckles over my cheeks and moved it down to my neck.

I continued to sob and plead with him, "Please.. don't. I-I won't h-hurt m-myself a-again.." The frights invoked by him are irremovable, they are breaking me. Not daring to move an inch, I felt him gently stroking me but being terrorized just thought what he'll do because I have hurt myself I couldn't meet his malice gaze.

I feel like he'll do something but that never came as he wrapped his arms around me protectively and picked me up.

I held his shirt and continued to cry. I know these tears are not only of dread but of the suffering, of that agony I have felt in just a week. He placed me on the bed as I continued to cry. He rubbed my back. I can't endure this nightmare. I let out the feeling of this intolerable baptism of fire as I slowly pulled away and looked at him with those teary eyes.

He didn't meet my gaze as his eyes showed a flash of hurt, wrath and... Remorse?

"You hate my touch that much.." He said in a barely audible tone and more to himself. He said it more like a statement, that moment another emotion also glimmered in his obscure eyes- relief. After looking at my red arm for a while, his cold emotions came back as he stood up and went to the bathroom.

He came out after a few seconds and gave me a gel and left without saying another word as I began to cry again after he left.....