My eyes slowly opened when the sunlight penetrated through the curtains. I adjusted my vision and the realization hit me like a truck as I realized that my soul is corrupt now. I have lost my innocence, my purity.

I have just survived the most horrendous night of my life. The feeling of revulsion because of last night made me want to puke; I feel repugnant. These unbearable flames that are killing me from inside are causing me to fall apart. Depression took over me in just one day, I'll turn insane but I have no choice but to keep these feelings in my heart and bear this undesirable feeling of being used over and over again. Filled with heartbroken thoughts, I want to cry at my agony.

I shifted my gaze and saw Christian standing in front of me. My eyes widened in horror as I quickly sat up and pulled the duvet over me to hide my exposed yet defiled form. By looking at his absolute dominant form I began to shudder in fear. He narrowed his eyes at me and I laid down and hid under the duvet quivering in apprehensions.

I heard his sighed as he said,

"Look at me, Sophie." Tears brimmed in my eyes as I quickly wiped them. I began to pant in dread that he might not want to do it again and I don't have enough strength in me to bear it again, It's like torture to me. Still fearing that he might not like me disobeying him, I removed the duvet slowly and looked at his assertive form. My heart skipped a beat as I saw him standing close to me.

"Here are some pills to relieve your pain." My trembling form gave him a nod as he put some pills on the nightstand.

"I come home around 7-12. I expect you to have dinner with me." He said in his usual firm tone.

"But, That's not in the contract," I spoke feebly, sitting up but still not removing the duvet and exposing myself to him, even though he has seen every inch of my body but I don't want him to see me anymore. He spared a glance at me as my heart skipped a beat as scary thoughts came in my mind. But none of it happened and he said,

"Do you have any obligations as my wife or not?"

"Y-yes, I h-have," I uttered. For a second, He looked at me surprised. I thought he didn't expect me to say 'yes'. He soon regained his attitude as he nodded and left,

"Take Care," I whispered. I cursed myself in my mind to say such words to him. Even he stopped upon hearing that and looked at me. My lips formed a thin line as I covered myself again not wanting to see him again. I heard the sound of the door being closed as I slowly removed the duvet and saw no one in the room. I sighed deeply and put my chin on my knees.

I bit my lips to not to cry as I felt abomination in my heart for him, The feelings he elicit within me are revolting.

When there's no love why is he refrain himself and showing compassion?

When he wanted to gain pleasure then why did he hold back? Why did he wrap his arms around me and whispered sweet nothings to me? Why did he try to soothe me? Just that thought is sickening, I don't want to feel anything like that. There's nothing between us and will never be.

I looked at the pain reliever and picked it. I gave it a seething look and threw it away as I began to cry,

"I don't want your sympathy!" I cried. I don't want any feeling of tenderness from you. This will kill me more quickly than fulfilling your desires. With the extreme detest in my heart, I'll never fall for someone like him. He's disgusting, he just wants to play with me. I am just a new toy that's why he's caring, I know that demeanour will change when he'll get bored of me. I continued to weep at my fate, how I avoided love and now there's no love in my life. I am breaking painfully, I don't want to be with him. I swear if Eugene recovers, I'll run away and will never come back here.

Feeling contaminated, I tried to stand up and went to the bathroom. Surprisingly it didn't hurt as much as I thought,

'Because he was gentle'

Mentally scolding myself because thinking something absurd like it. I went to the bathroom. When I looked at myself, I understood one thing, I was shattered. I looked at my form, Defiled. Tears rolled onto my cheeks as I sat under the shower and began to scratch his every mark. I continued to cry at my destiny.

But at the same time, I can't blame him because I agreed to this. I agreed just for the sake of my brother and Mother. I agreed because I want to and he is doing what I signed for. I can't do anything about it.

Then why the fuck he is not taking out his fire of lust?! Was it because I am- was a virgin?

I walked out and wiped my tears. I looked for my suitcase but it was empty. I opened the closet and the closet was as big as my room back at home. I walked in and saw my clothes as I wore a Black buttoned shirt and jeans with it. I don't want to expose any body part of mine as it made me feel a strong aversion.

I walked down as people were greeting me. I passed them a faint smile. Feeling like I am lost, but then Gwen came and called me, "Ma'am," I turned and felt uncomfortable when she called me that, "Please can you call me by my name?" I asked. "I can't," She replied. "I don't feel comfortable please," I said again. "I'll try." She said as I passed her a smile. She then took me with her and I shivered when we entered the dining hall. My throat dried as I took a step back in dread. She looked at me perplexed by my action. I, who was terrified because I met him for the first time, here. I bit my lips as other people began to look at me.

"Is everything all right, Mrs Elvis?" Gwen asked. Mrs Elvis is even worse than Ma'am! "Please call me by my name," I said. Her lips formed a thin line as she nodded. Gwen is a girl of almost my age, A little older than me. As we were standing there, An old woman came,

"What happened?" She asked.

"I-I.." I stutter. She smiled and said,

"I am Ross, The head of all maids, Does something matter?" She asked as I shook my head 'no'. I am getting scared in here by each second, I feel like Christian will come out of nowhere and take me with him. A deadly shiver went down my spine just at the thought of that.

I shook my head and walked inside. I didn't lift my gaze as I took a seat. Feeling as if this life is not for me, I want to run away. I don't like this at all.

They served breakfast which is not for a girl like me. Feeling hesitant, I just ate a french toast and took a glass of juice with it as I left. Definitely not wanting to go to that room, I asked Gwen to show me around. After walking around for a while, Gwen showed me Christian study. She just showed it to me but didn't say a thing. I shrugged my shoulders as we stopped at the library. I looked at it in awe. I smiled and took out a random book and began to read it.

After a while, I look at the time. It's almost lunchtime. The time was passing painfully slow- not that I am complaining.

Since I don't have anything to do, I decided to call mother,

"Hello," I said. "Hello, Love, How are you?" I felt relieved to hear my mother's voice. A smile formed on my lips as I replied,

"Fine. And you?", "I was so worried. It's so lonely without you." I continued to smile sadly. "I am okay. And you?" I asked in a low tone.

"I am fine. I just want to know about you."

"Everything is fine," I said.

"You sure?" She asked worriedly.

"yes.." I whispered.

"I know it's not. Have you..?" She asked but before she could say anything, I said first,

"Yes, I am fine," I said as I cut the call because I know that if I talk anymore, I'll cry.

And the dreadful time; Evening came. My throat dried and my body became numb. Not wanting to face him again, I went to the library again. I began to pace around it in stress.

As I was pacing, Samuel came,

"Ma'am, Sir is waiting for you in the dining hall." My heart skipped a beat as my body began to shake in fear. I don't want to face him, It's scaring me.

I bit my cheeks and went to the dining hall. He was sitting on the head of the house chair. He has changed into a casual shirt and trousers. I muster some courage and walked closer,

"Welcome Home," I said in a low voice. He looked at me with a mystifying yet surprised gaze. Seems like he is not used to greetings, well what you can expect from a guy who lives all alone.

Without meeting his gaze, I took a seat as my hands turned cold with my heartbeat increasing.

The food was served and we began to eat in silence. This silence may be normal to everyone but to me, this is a feeling of being crushed under his power.

After dinner, He began to say, "Listen, Sophie," I looked at him as I curled my toes to contain myself. "Hmm?"

"You are my wife now, doesn't matter the reason we get married, I don't want you to do anything that can disgrace me." He said nonchalantly.

"Okay," I said, giving him a nod.

"Good." He said as he stood up and left before saying,

"Be present in the room by 10."

My heart began to thump loudly as I shivered in dread.

I looked at the time, an hour left. Not wanting to spend the time under the terror of ending it, I went to the room. If I wait, I'll be petrified and I want this to end soon.

I feel disgusted when I have to call it 'our room', It's like picking a needle in my heart.

I entered and saw him standing in front of the mirror. He looked at me through the reflection and said, "I called you by 10."

I lean on the wall and fold my arms at my chest and said coldly, "This is my room too."

He smirked and looked at himself. No matter what, he's aesthetically beautiful. He ran his hand through his raven locks as his eyes fell upon something.

He walked there and picked up the pain reliever I threw. My heart began to race in fright. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. The feeling of fear aroused by his look made me deprived of energy. He walked towards me as I turned my gaze. My grip around me tightened and I felt his intimidating gaze upon me.

My body began to shake as he stopped in front of me.

"I didn't know you were a masochist." He said derisively.

A strong feeling of detest filled me when he called me that. I looked at him with an emotionless look and replied. "I am not."

"I think you are." He said leaning in. I averted my head away in disgust and said, "I don't want any compassion from you."

"Compassion?" He said amusingly. I looked at him as he seemed like he was enjoying this.

But soon enough, His expressions changed by an atrocious look which made me shudder. His eyes glisten with a minatory look as I gasped in fear and tried to back away but couldn't because there's a wall behind me. My quivering legs lost their strength by the terror invoked by him.

He smirked and my heart skipped a beat and I was overwhelmed by his overpowered form.

"It wasn't compassion." He said in his deep scary voice. "I just want to make sure that for the next time I don't have to hear any excuse like you can't do it or it hurts." He said in a venomous tone, He thinks that I'll back away because I am scared of him.

"I won't say. There's no need for you to be concerned about it." I said icily but I was being hurt by his bitter words; no matter what, I will not back off from my words. I rolled off my eyes and turned to leave the room, I couldn't bear to stay with him for a second. I turned but he held my wrist. My heart stopped as I thought that I might have angered him. My throat dried but I didn't dare to turn and look at his dire gaze. I closed my eyes and await for the torture that never came.

There's a brief pause between us, I didn't turn and he didn't let me go. In this silence, I want to say to let me go and what he wants to say was beyond my prediction. But his quelled demeanour broke as a fiery emotion took over which evoked a terror in me. His grip on my wrist tightened as I winced but didn't dare to look back. He pulled me close as his one hand held my jaw while his other hand held my wrist tightly. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I began to pant when I made contact with his toned chest. Filled with apprehension, I continued to quiver as his scent provoked a shiver to emit from my body and travel to my very core.

He nuzzled his face in my neck as I felt his hot breath on my neck and my hairs stood on their edge in fright. He let out an evil laugh, terrifying me to no extent. My breath stuck in my throat.

"I didn't know you could talk back to me." My heart skipped a beat at his husky voice. The lust burning inside him became ferocious. His lips brushed against my neck as I shivered, being torn by the pressure.

"But you know what?" He whispered as I feel like my heart can leave my body along with my soul. The intense desires of him are awakened as he wants to release them... again. He pulled me close as I shut my eyes tightly and let out a short cry. He bit my ear and said in a low voice, "I would love to hear my name in them the most."

And once again I let myself be defiled by him because there's nothing I can do, I have to comply with his desires. I lost myself in his vicious acts but they aren't vicious at all; they were gentle, but to me, they are menacing and toxic because I can keep up with his desires but the gentleness that invokes unwanted emotions in me; They are unbearable. They are horrendous.

If he marries for desires, then why stop those urges? It's almost like he can't hurt me, even if he wants to, the most incomprehensible thing ever.

His pity caused me to feel repulsion.

I hate it! I hate you!