I don't want her to be hurt, I know I hurt her the most but if she hurt herself, I won't be able to face her. I don't want to love her, she can never remove those apprehensions of my heart and I will never let her too. I will do whatever I can, just to make sure that she doesn't love me, even if it involves hurting her.

That's why I felt relieved when she hated my touch. I was happy that there are no chances that she can love me. She felt disgusted and hate for me. That intense detest can never be removed and it worked in my favour as I don't have to go through that feeling of betrayal again.

When I don't love her, why'd I marry her? I have to get married to her but I can't give her love and moreover, I have turned this marriage into nothing but a mere display of ravishing feelings and repugnance for her. That poor soul doesn't even know a thing. She just thinks that she married me to satisfy my lust as I'm gonna afford her expenses.

If she never came to New York and stayed in Boston as she should. This would never happen. She'd have a normal life. A normal job, everything would be monotonous for her. If she stayed in Boston. But, What's done is done. None of us can't do anything now.

I don't know what to say about her. I just know that she is mine. That she belongs to me from the moment she was born. She was made for me, I know it all too well. I know I have never met her before our marriage, just once or twice but I knew it that she was mine. I know she was mine to possess. And now, she is legally mine and there's nothing she can do to escape from me.

Just like me, I am hers. I have known this all along still. I decided to twist the destiny and tried to settle down with Merlin but she was never mine and here I am being hers- again. It was decided that I am hers and she was mine. And we both are stuck in this.

Sometimes, I felt guilty to do this to her. I promised that I'll protect her but... I couldn't.

I found her so exculpate, I wanted to lose myself in lust but her innocence came in between and didn't let me harm her too much. Her looks even made me lose my interest and made me feel like I am forcing myself upon her.

I don't know whether she was doing this on purpose or is she truly that pure and naive. I don't even want to know, There's no need for me to concern myself. I just have to fulfill my desires. As long as I receive pleasure, there's no need to involve myself in her life, right?

Sometimes, I don't understand her. Why does she greet me? I am not used to listening to these kinds of sweet words. They felt strange. She is strange.

She is peculiar. She was given a choice unlike me. If she doesn't want this why did she agree? Was she desperate to see her brother recover? Why did she care about relations that much? Maybe she doesn't know how cruel they are.

Whenever I look at her, her face is filled with either dread or despair, they arouse unwanted feelings in me. I don't know what I should feel about her but I know one thing love is something that will never be present on that list. An empty laugh escaped my lips when I remembered,

'A knight will descend for you' What a silly delusion it was and still is...Believe me, you don't want to know about the identity of this knight...

I couldn't sleep, so I turned and looked at her.

She was sound asleep- the only moment when she was at serenity. I removed the hairs falling on her face as I stared at her enchanting features. It's not that I am falling for her. I will never fall in love, it's just an irrational feeling. Love comes with betrayal, I will never feel affection for anyone, they all will leave you in the end, there's no need to attract yourself to anyone because when they leave you, it hurts.

I just like looking at her because her emotions intrigued me. Just like what I heard about her. She is caring, she's shy. She has a short-temper and can explode if you provoke her. I find that cute. She got angry when we first met. She always piqued my interest, since the beginning. I still remember what she told me when we met for the first time,

"It's better to cry with a shoulder than alone. Mother told me that."

She hates me and I don't even care about it. She hates how she is married to me for money. The look of resentment was always clear in her eyes but it was masked by those clouds of apprehensions.

My sweet wife doesn't even know that she was bound to me from the beginning till the end...

Whether she loves me or not, as long as she doesn't cheat on me, I don't care. I just need to fulfill my promise and I did, don't expect anything else from me.

Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

My eyes opened as I saw her snuggling close to me. She seemed afraid and looked like she was having a nightmare. I pity her, witnessing a nightmare in real life and now in dreams. I sat up and shook her.

"Sophie, wake up," I said yawning as she let out a squeak and back away in fear. Tears abruptly rolled down her cheek as she looked at me petrified. Her body was trembling as she quickly sat up and covered herself with the duvet. She continued to shake as I stared at her perplexed. She looked at me as if she didn't expect me to be here.

Amused by her action, I decided to push her past her limits.

I smirked and turned to her. Her breath hitched as I crawled towards her. She moved back as her back hit the bed stamp. I looked at her with a dark look. She continued to pant as I leaned in closer. The sound of her rapid breaths filled my ears as I nuzzled to her neck and whispered,

"How about I make that nightmare of yours real?"

She flinched when I touched her shoulder as tears gleamed her cheeks. A cold sweat rolled down her cheek as her shaky form shook her head 'no'. Giving her an atrocious look, she gasped in fear as her grip tightened on the duvets. My fingers trace my marks visible on her pure body. I moved my hand from her shoulder to her arm, pulling the duvet down with it and she was startled at my action.

She tried to say anything with her quivering lips but couldn't produce a sound in my vicious presence and I pulled her to me and she was sitting in my laps. I put my hand over her bare back to prevent her from moving away. Not being able to bear this intimacy anymore, She began to sob loudly as her tears began to fall on my shoulder.

Feeling guilty that I have gone too far, I began to rub her back as my other hand stroked her hairs slightly.

My amused expression was turned into a scowl because I melted in guilt originated by her tears... again.

I was determined to do it but her tears once again stopped me and instead of going into intercourse, I am soothing her.

I want to teach her a lesson at least once to make me go off track. I will show her what my actual desires are so that she'll know that what she has gone through is nothing but a mere reflection of what I truly want. But, that girl's tears made me filled with remorse.

I have married her just like you said but using the wrong way, I can't give her love. I promised you that I'll keep her happy... I apologize I couldn't keep my promise... I acted upon Juliette's words- my biggest mistake.

I know that she doesn't like my touch but still, I tried to calm her so that she can relax in my presence but that apparently seemed impossible.

She put her head on my shoulder as she continued to weep.

"T-that wasn't m-my dream." She stuttered as she held my shirt. Soaking my shoulder with her tears.

"I should be happy about it but I wasn't." She whispered again.

Being curious I asked, "What was it about?" She shivered when I asked. She doesn't want to tell. She looked at me hesitantly and I moved my hand from her hairs to her tears as I wiped them. She looked down and said,

"You'll be angry." Her voice sounded scared as usual. Being irritated that she is not speaking about it, I still remained patient and said again,

"Tell me, I won't be angry." She wiped her last tear as she tried to get away from my laps but I held her and didn't let her. She cringed as I asked sternly, "Who told you to get away?" She looked down and bit her lips as I can feel the fear she has in her heart for me. "I apologize." She said in a barely audible tone. I pulled her close as she continued to shudder in my embrace.

I held her chin as I stared into those terrified eyes. "Now, tell me," I ordered her. She sniffed as she produced a vague sound by those vibrating lips.

"you..... went far away.. without any intentions of coming back... and when I heard that... I cried... I sobbed so loudly... I..." She trailed off looking elsewhere. I felt a sudden knot in my heart but I shrugged this off as a smirk played along my lips and pinned her to the bed. She gasped in dread by the sudden action, I leaned in close. The sound of her heartbeat was cloaked with the sounds of her quivering form invoking lust in me.

"Don't worry. I am not going anywhere. And if I do..." I said slowly and brushed my lips against hers and she shivered violently filled with disgust for me like always.

"I'll take you with me..." I whispered and kissed her neck.

The feeling of the cold sweat rolling down from her forehead. The throat dried from the fear of being explored, the body trembling in dread of being defiled. The soul, filled with desperation for the liberation from being more corrupt; I can feel this, causing a commotion in my mind and evoking such needs of craving in me that I want to embed deep into my soul and receive a great euphoria from it but I know that I can't do it, her purity won't let me devour her.

I pecked her sweet lips as I pulled away and left her shaky form there and went to the bathroom.

I stood under the shower as the cold droplets of rain drenched me. I closed my eyes as I felt this coldness, it's the same as my heart. I emit deep breaths as I thought about her. She is too frightened in my presence, I want to lower those terrors, not to eradicate them but to lower them so that she can at least relax in my presence. I won't allow those apprehensions to be obliterated because if that happened, she may fall for me and I know I can't love her back. I will never fall in love. It will be better for us if we abide ourselves with the contract, without involving love.

After losing everyone, I don't have enough strength in me to fall in love with anyone again.

I will never love her or let her love me. To accomplish that, I'll do whatever I can, even if I have to break her... I am sorry but I have to.

Instead of suffering the devastation caused by love, witness the ravage of hate, it'll be less heartbreaking...

I sighed and walked out only in my pants and stood in front of the mirror as I wore my black office shirt to get ready for work. She went to the bathroom without sparing a glance at me and with a flushed face. I smirked when she left, even though she had seen me but still felt embarrassed to look at me shirtless. Her demeanour is truly fascinating and I let myself be gratified by exploring them. Well at least, that's what I can do.

I went to the dining hall and sat at my usual spot. After a while, Sophie also came and greeted me without looking at me.

The food was served as we ate in silence and I liked scanning her when she ate her food. She always eats correctly, this somehow amazed me, in six months of working at the hotel, she has learned quite a lot. She lifted her gaze and looked at me timidly, I rolled off my eyes and left without saying anything.

"Take Care." I heard her voice and every time she said that I felt really strange. Even Merlin never greeted me like that.

What am I saying? There's no comparison between them.

To clear some doubts, I went to see Aunt Amelia. I entered as she smiled upon seeing me,

"Welcome, Where's Sophie?" She asked.

"I'll take her with me next time." I smiled back. She motioned me to sit as I sat beside her. I looked down and she asked,

"How's your life?"

"It's nothing but a contract for both of us."

"Give yourself some time." She tried to assure me.

"I can't give her love.." I said in shame.

"But she can. She can extricate you from those insecurities." She said rubbing my back. I smiled and looked at her, "How can you still give her to me, after all this?" I asked.

"You left us with no choice. If you remember." Her voice sounded angry. I remained silent. I already told Aunt about my intentions and she was displeased with the idea and gave the authority to Sophie to decide what she wants and I left Sophie with no choice but to do things the way I want. "The contract is just a show in the first place. You wouldn't comply with it, would you?" She looked at me expectantly. My heart skipped a beat in dread. I swallowed hard and gave her a hesitant nod. I am sorry.

"Besides, She was always yours... It was all decided... She always wanted her to be your bride." Aunt smiled. I leaned on the sofa and closed my eyes. That's right, her.

"I never forced her. It was Sophie's decision." She said. "I know," I said. After a brief pause, she asked, "Does she know about it?"

"No. This all is just a contract to her." I said without looking at her.

"Good. I don't even want her to know." Aunt exhaled in relief. I looked at her as she put a hand over her chest. "I think you should tell her. She deserves to know."

"If she comes to know about it now, she'll wreak havoc. She will beat Roger first." She said as we both laughed a little. That's true. She already hates him and now she'll probably kill him.

"But, I can't tell her back then. What am I supposed to say now? You are betrothed to a guy a decade older than you?" She chuckled nervously.

"More like sold." I corrected as her smile was replaced with a smirk, "More like promised." She stated as I smirked back.

"To be honest, I am amazed that you fulfilled your promise even after all these years." She said.

"I have to," I said coldly.

"I never want her to be your second option. Even though she should be your first ... and you.." She said sadly. My eyes widened for a second as my heart skipped a beat in slight fear.

"You are not angry at me.. are you, Aunt?" I asked. Please don't be. I don't want you to leave me too.

"I'll do whatever you say. I am sorry for that earlier rudeness of mine. I didn't mean to. I was lost. I..." I said anxiously.

Looking at my tensed form she formed a smile and cupped my cheeks,

"Oh, my Christian, You are still the same. Don't worry eventually, Everything will be fine." I sighed in relief and leaned back. After a silence, she looked at me seriously and said, "Reasons don't matter now. She is your wife. Please take care of her. I understand you can't give her love but please don't give her hate too. " She then continued,

"She is fragile, please never break her." I looked at her for a second and closed my eyes again as I felt bad. I can't guarantee that, to stop her loving me, I have to do it if I must..

After a while Aunt spoke up again,

"Sophie meant to be in your life. Only she can save you."

I stood up and looked at her,

"Even if she did, then who'll save her?" I was about to leave and I heard her reply, "You."

An involuntary smile was formed on my lips as I left. This will never happen, I won't let it. Neither she can save me nor I can. She'll live with me in those dark clouds of mysteries she was never aware of and will crumble slowly when she comes to know about them. And me being heartless, I'll indulge each and every moment of it. Because I know,

I will never love anyone.

It's just a game for me to see either she breaks under those mystifying truths about her or I break by those inexplicable feelings she may elicit in me without recognizing them.

Either way, I am looking forward to it...