Flashback

"You're gonna burn that out." Rhea smiled as she walked in to the office. "I left 30 minutes ago for lunch and you were shredding paper."

"I'm nearly done." Ryder told her as he feed another piece of paper through the shredder.

"No deal on that contract, huh?"

"No. And I'm not giving him another chance." Ryder growled as the paper shredded.

Rhea walked to Ryder, a plastic bag in her hand.

"How was lunch with Gabriel?" He asked.

Rhea hummed. "Good. She is on the way to the airport now. She has to go to Melbourne before heading back to New York."

Ryder took her arm and made Rhea sit on his lap. "I know she's your friend and you'll miss her, but before you know it, she'll be back."

Rhea sighed as she cuddled into Ryder. "I know. She'll be back for the wedding."

"That soon?" Ryder asked, surprised.

"Yes." Rhea said in a silly tone. "She is my maid of honour."

Ryder kissed her. "But you get so occupied while you're with her." He complained.

"Pft. You have work to do, mister." Rhea smiled against his lips. "So don't complain when I have to keep myself busy."

Now

I quickly pushed Ryder off me while he was in a small state of confusion and went to Rowan.

"Cookie, Momma, please." He asked me. I opened the top cupboard and got the jar down, taking out a cookie.

"Go play in your room." I said to him as I crouched down.

"No food in room." He reminded me.

"It's okay, this time." I assured him as he turned to look at Ryder.

"Who that?" He asked me shyly.

"Someone I knew a long time ago." I replied. "Now go, please."

I stood upright as I watched Rowan stare openly at Ryder as he slowly went back to his room. Ryder watched him intently, a frown on his face as Rowan disappeared.

"You're a mother?" Ryder finally asked me.

"Yes." I told him. "I am."

"So where's the father?" I saw his eyebrow arched as he started asking questions.

"Gone." I snapped back.

"What's his name?"

I snorted out a laugh. "I'm surprised you don't know. You know where I live. Where I work, my phone number. Didn't you do a full background report?"

Even if he did, I never did put Ryder's name on the birth certificate.

Ryder frowned deeper. "I didn't think I would have needed to. I knew you didn't remarry so I didn't go any deeper. What's his name?" He asked again, shoving his hands in to his pockets.

I pursed my lips together.

"How old is he?" Ryder demanded.

"What?" I growled at him. "Do you think he is yours? Because he isn't!" I yelled out. "He is two. Now get out! Get out off my house now!"

Ryder smirked at me. "Well, it didn't take you long to find someone else after me, did it?"

"You accused me of having an affair. You kicked me out! You blamed me for our problems that I didn't know existed. You hurt me, Ryder! You broke me. I loved you so much and you broke me. You had me thinking I did do something wrong when I didn't." I cried at him, wiping the tears away. "Get out now. I want you out of my house. Out off my life!" I screamed.

"I got over you. I built a new life, I'm happy now. I have my own life with son and my career. So don't march in here and demand for things to go back to how they were years ago. Don't assume just because I have a child, that he is yours, because he isn't. You don't even know if I'm his biological mum. For all you know I adopted or fostered him or he's my step child." I was starting to hyperventilate and I was in a rage.

"Bullshit Rhea. He is a spitting image of you."

It was my turn to smirk. "I know." I went to the front door and opened it, just as I felt small arms around my legs. I looked down to see the floppy black hair of Rowan pressed against me. I picked him up and held him with all my might as I stood by the front door.

"Leave, now, please." I spoke more calmly.

Ryder walked to in front off us and stared at me before turning his eyes to Rowan as he buried his head into my neck and hair.

Ryder was just about to walk out when he turned back to us, his eyes intense on Rowan as I slammed the door shut.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and I didn't know if I was talking to Ryder, Rowan or myself.

"Momma yelling." Rowan's voice went to my ears.

"I'm sorry baby." I said as I hugged him. "I'm so sorry." I held Rowan a bit longer as I started crying.

"Don't cry, Momma. I love you."

I sniffle as I smiled. "I love you."

****

I was expecting Ryder to come back. I knew he will look deeper in to this. My instincts were right.

I sent Rowan over to Sasha's for the night who was more than happy to have him as I waited for him to return.

I was half a bottle of wine done for the night and moved on to the bourbon. I needed a good proper drink that wasn't wine.

I was sitting at the small kitchen table when I heard the banging of a car door closing and seconds later, the hard knocking on my door.

I sighed and swallowed the last of my drink and went to the door, fully opening it.

Ryder looked pissed, his lips pressed together as he stormed straight in.

"Tell me the truth." He demanded from me before he even turned to face me.

I closed the door and walked straight past him to the dining table where my bourbon bottle and a bottle of ginger ale sat. I made myself another glass as I sat back down.

"It doesn't matter if I'm telling you the truth or if I'm lying to you." I told him. "It doesn't matter, because no matter which one I choose, you won't believe me."

Ryder leaned against the other chair in the dining room staring at me as I calmly took my drink, glaring straight back at him.

"How would you know?" He snapped at me.

"Because I know you."

"Alright." He said. "Fair enough. Where is he?"

I gave him a small smirk. "Not here."

"Okay, then we'll discuss what we were before."

"That's not happening. I'm not going back to you."

Ryder sat down and leaned back on the chair. "Well, there's a child in the picture now, so I have to change my plans."

I scoffed at him as I rolled my eyes. "This isn't an outing. This is my life. My life involves my son." I told him before taking another huge gulp, slamming the glass down.

"This is also my life as well." Ryder snarled at her.

"Don't use that tone on me."

"Don't use you mother tone on me."

I glared at him as I saw the playful grin. This isn't playtime. I don't want playtime. "You said the other day that you took some advice. What was it?" I asked in a sigh.

"That I should slowly come back, slowly win you over." Ryder said in a grin.

"That's stupid advice." I snorted out.

"Is your advice stupid? I thought you had a degree in psychology?"

"One, I have a bachelor. Two, I tend more to philosophy. Three, my advice isn't stupid. I don't know who gave you that load of crap."

Ryder let out a chuckle. "You did."

I raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Ryder reached in to his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, giving it to me.

I didn't need to read it. I recognise it.

Oh crap.

"You're Mr Guilty." I stated as I pointed to the clipping. "But this is what I also wrote, Ryder. Slowly come back into her life if she allows you, if she doesn't, unfortunately, she has moved on." I poured myself another drink, not letting Ryder interrupt me. "That wound you created in her is so deep, no matter how much time has passed, it has a high chance of being open still. And you have opened it. Even if she doesn't want to return to her relationship, the least you can do is help her in healing that wound. I don't need your help, I need you back out off my life."

"That's the shitty part I'm not listening to." Ryder told me as I shook my head. "I am going to make up for it, Rhea. I am the one that made the mistakes, not you."

"Oh, I know that. But your three and a half years too late. I had my cry. I'm over it. I'm no longer hurt I am angry."

"Angry?"

"Yes! Because you aren't listening to me."

"I am!" Ryder slammed his fist on the table, but I didn't flinch.

"You aren't. I want you to leave. I want you to leave me alone. I've moved on and so should you." I finished off that glass, keeping it near my mouth as I swallowed. "Just go, Ryder." I said softly.

"This isn't over, Rhea. We will never be over." What Ryder said sounded like a promise.

"We are, Ryder." I reminded him. "You are my past and that chapter is closed. I've moved on, I've built a life, I have a son. He is my main priority."

"So, what? You're just gonna move on, find someone to take your child as his own, marry him?" Ryder smirked at me.

"If that's what my future holds, then yes." I growled, my grip tightening over the glass in my hand.

I've had half a bottle of wine and two very strong bourbons and my anger is blocking the alcohol.

"Well, guess what, baby?"

I glared at him coldly. "Don't call me that."

"Getting married again will never be in your future."

I gave him a short bit loud ha. "What are you going to do? Stalk me till I die? Scare of every man I ever meet?"

"Well yes."

I rolled my eyes at him. "That's pathetic."

"Besides, you legally can't marry anyone."

I frowned at him. "Yes I can, and I will if I want to."

"No. You legally can't."

I had no idea what he meant. "Alright." I sighed out. "I'll bite. Why can't I?"

"Because you're still married to me." He grinned out.

Flashback

"Oh great. Now you've cut yourself." Rhea sighed as she took Ryder's hand. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Ryder said softly.

"I was the one that dropped the glass." Rhea said to him. "I'm sorry."

Ryder took Rhea's hand in to his uncut on. "What's wrong?"

"I'm nervous. I have my finals tomorrow." She admitted to him.

"Already?"

Rhea nodded as she picked up the broken pieces of glass. "Come here. I'll clean that up for you."

"It's okay, just a cut." Ryder mumbled out to her.

"That might still have some shards of glass in there." She said sternly at him.

Ryder caved in and let Rhea clean the cut, smiling at her.

"What?" She asked him when she noticed it.

Ryder shook his head. "Aren't you the wise doctor?"

Rhea grinned as she went back to his finger.

Now

"Fuck!" I cried out. I had slammed the glass on to the table too hard and it shattered in my palm. I hissed back the pain as I turned my hand over, seeing the glass fragments pierced into my skin.

"Oh shit, Rhea!" Ryder dashed to me but I quickly got up and side stepped him, heading to the sink.

I took deep breathes as I washed water over my palm, watching the water and blood run down the drain.

"Just back off!" I growled at Ryder. "What the fuck do you mean we are still married?"

Ryder looked at me as his hands went to his pockets. It was a trait of his. Smugness, I use to call it.

"Answer me!" I yelled out.

"The papers never made it to court." He shrugged.

"Why is that?" I never received a copy, but I didn't have an address for the copy either. I couldn't leave them with a lawyer, I couldn't afford one back then. But I was always too scared to legally chase the papers up in case Ryder found me, which he has.

Ryder smirked again, this time bigger. "They may have found their way through the shredder."

I couldn't believe it. I wrapped my hand in a tea towel as I turned the water off. "You son of a bitch!" I gritted out. "Get the fuck out off my house now! Get out!" I screamed at him.