"Get out off my house you bastard!" I told him as I held the towel over my hand.

"I told you that I will never let you go." Ryder repeated as he came closer.

I put my good hand up, signalling him to stop as I went to the pantry. "Oh, no. Back off." I snapped as I went for the first aid kit.

"You need help, Rhea." Ryder told me as I snatched the bag.

"No, I need you to go." I warned him. I can't believe this is happening. "You thought I had an affair. You kicked me out. You wanted a divorce!" I went to the corner of the bench. I was out off room, I had no where to go.

"I also promised you on our wedding day that you will never leave me." Ryder's face was dark as he stared at me.

I turned my attention to my hand as I took the towel off. I winced as I saw the blood. It was stinging and I needed to get it clean.

Ryder stepped the last of the gap between us and took my bloody hand in to his.

I gasped as I tried to claim it back, but his grip was too strong. "Just calm down!" He growled as I fought him.

"No!" I cried. "I've built my life. Without you! You can't come in here and destroy it. I'm happy here. I'm happy with what I have." I yelped as Ryder pulled some glass out off my hand.

"You should have known I was going to come back. We may have had a break, but that is it. I would have never let you go." Ryder told me. He had his back to me as I felt him apply some dettol to my cut. I winced as I tried to take my hand back.

"No. It never crossed my mind." I lied. It has. Several times. And I still wasn't prepared, mentally, over it. I felt Ryder place a medical pad on my hand.

"Hold this." He instructed as he got out off my way, without letting go of my wrist.

I just stood there, glaring at him.

"Hold it there so I can strap it, Rhea." He said softly.

I groaned as I did as I was told. Ryder took out the medical tape and strapped on the patch before getting the strapping tape and covered it on.

As soon as I felt his grip loosen, I reclaimed my hand.

"Now get out!" I snapped as I left the kitchen.

"Stop telling me that, Rhea. I'm not going anywhere until we have covered everything."

I hung my head. "Why?"

"I've already told you why." Ryder leaned against the bench as I went back to the table, picking up the glass fragments.

"But that's the thing, Ryder, I'm trying to tell you and you won't listen."

"I don't like what those answers are." He snapped.

I placed the glass in to the bin and wiped the table down.

"So who is the kid?"

My head snapped to him. "I'm not discussing him."

"Okay. Fine. But I'll get it out off you."

I stood tall with my arms crossed as I stared at Ryder.

"You'll have to talk eventually, Rhea. Because you'll be seeing a lot more of me."

I groaned again as my eyes rolled.

"That habit I still don't like." He growled as I saw him come closer. "Stop rolling your eyes." Came his dark and low voice.

"Stop harassing me." I replied as I backed away.

Ryder took me in to his arms as I gasped, pushing him away.

"Fight me all you want, but you will lose. I don't plan on going anywhere. I will win you back, baby." He muttered as he took my mouth.

My eyes widened as I tried pushing him off again, but Ryder had me crushed against him.

What felt like minutes, he pulled his head away from mine as I glared at him. He had that cocky smug look on his face as I shivered and he released me.

"That I promise." He told me before heading to the door. I went to the table and picked up the nearly empty bourbon bottle and threw it at the door as he closed it, the neck hitting the door, shattering.

"Bastard!"

I could feel myself floating as we spun around and around. His hands on my waist as I was on my tip toes, lips locked.

Everyone in the room now gone, the music barely audible as we danced together. We pulled apart and I giggled, slightly embarrassed.

"Are you blushing, Mrs Anderson?" I heard the playful tease.

I peeked a look under my lashes as I saw him staring at me, angrily. Frowning, I looked around. How did we get from our wedding reception to the house?

"You cheating bitch!" Ryder yelled at me.

I flinched as I stepped back. "Wait, no! I haven't! Ryder!" I cried out as he disappeared from me.

Before I knew it, I was somewhere I haven't seen in many years. I was in a dining room, looking at the table.

I could feel how hungry I was as I climbed up the chair. I looked at what was on the table. There were bags with white stuff and little lollies.

I greedily went to them. I'm so hungry. The nice man isn't here yet to get my food. I took a lolly and placed it in my mouth as my hand went to an open bag.

I dug my little fingers through it as tried some, sucking on my fingers as I put my other hand in the bag. I pulled a face. This isn't yummy.

"Rhea!" I heard the shriek as I was pushed off the chair.

I landed on the floor.

"What are you doing you stupid girl?"

"I'm hungry!" I cried out.

"How many times have I told you to stay out off my shit, Rhea?"

"I'm sorry Mummy!" I cried again.

I woke with a jolt. Why am I having this dream? I took deep and shaky breathes as I sat up in my bed.

I can handle the stupid warped dreams of my failed marriage, but not my young childhood. It took five years with a psychiatrist to help me block them. Another eight with a psychologist. And a very high medical bill my aunt and uncle were more than happy to pay.

I felt the pain in my hand as I whined, remembering my earlier accident.

I could see the sky lightening up outside as I got up. I'm awake now, may as well start my day.

****

"Only ten letters this week?" Jan asked me at the door.

I stared over my glasses to her. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I've had personal problems over the past couple weeks." And it's really been piling on.

Jam gave me a stern look. "Well I hope it doesn't affect your column."

"Excuse me."

Jan turned to the voice behind her as I also tried looking.

"Is this Rhea Anderson's office?" Came the strange voice.

Jan turned her head to me. "Anderson?"

I pointed to her. "That's the personal problem." I said as I stood up. Jan let the bloke through as I saw a large bouquet of red roses in his hands.

Oh great. The man handed them to me as I thanked him and took the card out.

I am sorry

Ryder. I shook my head as I went to my waste basket and dumped them in there before sitting back down. Jan looked at me, dumbfounded.

"Don't ask. Trust me, you don't wanna know." I mumbled out.

"Ha! The woman that gives love advice and can't see it for herself."

If only she knew. "That's an apology." I told her.

"I didn't know you're married." She told me.

"I'm not." I gritted out.

"As long as you keep your personal problems out off here and not let it affect your job." Jan warned as she left my office.

"Trust me, I'm trying." I whispered as my eyes went to the roses.

****

Another late Monday afternoon. I rushed out off my office to my car when I halted.

Why is he doing this? I took a deep breathe and continued, getting closer to my car with Ryder leaning on it.

"I see you kept the car." He said casually as he straightened up.

"I haven't had the chance to trade it in yet." I snapped at him. "Can we not do this please. I'm running late."

"Bit late for a meeting." He smirked as I unlocked the car.

I groaned while opening the door. "I'm late on picking my son up." I told him as I threw my bag in. "So please, not now."

I didn't wait for a reply as I got in and closed the door, turning the car on. I didn't give him a second glance as I sped off out off the car park.

I rushed across town to the day care centre and quickly signed Rowan out, before heading to his room.

"Momma!" He cried as he ran to me. "You're late!"

"I know. I'm sorry baby." I whispered. "But I'm here now." I took his little arms from around my neck. "Go get your bag." I told him.

"Sorry. I tried to get here earlier." I said to his teacher as I took Rowan's hand.

We left the building, hand in hand, walking to the car. I didn't park in the car park, I just applied the brake on the side of the road and jumped out.

Buckling Rowan in, I quickly got back to my seat before I copped a fine for parking in the loading zone and drove off.

"How was school, buddy?" I asked Rowan and he started babbling on about his day.

Flashback

"Are you sure?" Ryder asked Rhea as I sat in the car next to him.

She turned her eyes from the sight before her and looked at him. "Yeah. I really should. It's been two years. I haven't been here since I had to bury my aunt." She replied, opening the door.

Rhea slowly walked down the path that lead to the Dean family plot. Stepping softly on the grass, she stopped before a large headstone.

Here lies

Rupert Dean

Beloved husband, father, uncle, brother, son.

Marilyn Dean

Beloved wife, mother, aunt, sister, daughter.

May they rest in peace, together, for eternity.

"I'm sorry for not visiting sooner." Rhea whispered as she laid down the daffodils. "I've been making excuses to myself why I shouldn't, instead of why I should."

Rhea reread the stones again. "It's been two years, Aunt Mary. Five, Uncle Rupert. I miss you guys so much. So much has happened."

"I graduated high school. Valedictorian. I did university and got my bachelors in psychology. I'm having a break, trying to get a job, then I'm going to go for my masters."

Rhea shifted from one leg to the other. "I met someone. We've been seeing each other for nearly three months. I know that's not long, but I feel so much safer with him than I do without. He makes me feel loved and happy. He is a few years older than me, but not by much. He is the only reason I had managed to graduate from university. Without him, I would have flunked. I really like him, maybe even love him." She let out a sigh. "I miss you guys so much. Thank you for everything you both have done for me."

Rhea wiped away a tear before she turned back to the car, slowly walking back on to the footpath.

Now

I miss my Aunt and Uncle. It's been so long since I visited them. I really should. They were the ones that raised me.

"Momma?" Rowan piped up in his seat, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yes baby?" I looked at him through the rear vision mirror.

"I'm hungry."

"I know baby. We are nearly home." I assured him as I turned in to the street we live on. "We'll go home, have dinner and a nice bath." I told him.

"No! Shower!"

"What?" I smiled at him. "No duckies?" I asked, referring to his bath toys.

I didn't hear Rowan's answer as I pulled in to my driveway, eyeing of the blue Mercedes on the side off the road. "Oh please no!" I whispered as I turned the car off.

I opened the door and got out, my bag in my hand as I went to Rowan.

I heard another car door close as I placed Rowan on my hip and closed the door, locking it on the car fob.

I dug through my bag for my house keys, ignoring Ryder walking to me as I went to my front door.

"Rhea, wait." He called out. I opened my door and placed Rowan inside and turned to Ryder.

"What?" I looked at him and I noticed a box in his hands. "I don't want your gifts."

"Well, it's not for you." He said daringly as he stood there.

I frowned before I realised what he meant.

"Oh, no!" I stuttered as I went inside. I tried to do it without Ryder getting in, but he beat me at that.

"Ryder. I don't have time. I have to feed my kid." I told him as I went to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge door and pulled out a container with leftover potato bake.

"What? Leftovers?" I forgot how much he hates leftovers.

"What? I'm not feeding you." I growled as I place a ladle spoon through it and plopped it on to the plate.

"How about we go out for dinner?" He asked me and I shook my head.

"No. It takes too long to pick a place, order the food, wait for it to cook and my child is hungry now. Besides, I don't want to go anywhere with you. Why are you so persistent?" I asked as I put Rowan's dinner in the microwave.

"Fine. How about I get us something delivered? For you and me, plus the kid if he is still hungry."

"No!" I snapped at him. Rowan came running in then, looking at Ryder as he held on to my leg.

"Momma, I'm hungry."

I ruffled his hair. "I know. It's coming."

Ryder walked to Rowan and knelt down in front of him. I had the strangest feeling in my gut that this was going to go bad.

"Hello there." Ryder smiled at Rowan.

"Hi." He replied shyly, half hiding behind one of my legs. "Who are you?"

"I'm Ryder. I'm a friend of your mums." Ryder took his hand out and Rowan hesitantly took it, then smiled a little. "What's your name?"

Rowan stood up straight and loosened his grip on my leg.

"I'm Rowan."

And then the penny dropped. I gulped as Ryder's steel blue eyes bored into mine.