I started to cry.

All these years and Jin could not even recognize me. Who would have even thought I would be standing right in front of him; but as I gripped onto our son, I couldn't help but watch his face. No movement. No expression. Just blank.

Years ago I told myself I wanted him back, and here he is.

So I just started crying. I felt like everything was crashing down.

Junior just clung to my neck watching the tears fall.

"Jesus Jin, it's not another hallucination. Go hug her for godssake" Jason let out; helping himself to an apple on the counter. He was so calm and relaxed that it was unbelievable.

Does he not understand my pain?

My tears stung my face so badly, that I had to force myself to hold back some of them. My whole face hurt. But..

...my heart hurt the most

Finally Jin slowly walked towards me. "Is...is it really you?" He mumbled.

"Speak up, even I can't hear you" Jason said taking a bite off his apple.

Jin walked closer, grabbed my cheeks and just stood there skimming my whole face. "I can't believe you're here, you look..different" he said. I didn't know if he was disappointed or not. But oddly enough, my insecurities came back. I hung my head low not wanting to see his eyes. "I know. I..uh..gained some weight." I then finally met his eyes again "But I'm going to lose it, I'll go back to how I was during boot camp"

So many questions I wanted to ask. But my mind was just stuck on what he might think about my weight. The little girl in high school was coming back. And I hated it.

Jin finally spread that warm smile that I always loved "Quinn, I wasn't talking about that. You look great" he said backing away and admiring me some more "still beautiful. Just like I last saw you." He proceeded to grab my face again. I tried hard not to wince in pain. "I was talking about your face. I mean it's hard to recognize you when your whole side of the face is swollen. What happened?"

Oh you know, your brother whooped my ass.

Of course I didn't say that. I didn't answer at all. Just started running my fingers through Juniors hair. My little boy hated when I ran my fingers through his hair. But today he didn't mind it. He was too busy staring at Jin.

The father of my son finally took the hint. He was now taking an interest in Junior. "Is..is he really mine?" He said trying to hold his son; Junior shook his head and clung to my neck tighter. Jin hesitated and didn't try to reach out anymore. Instead he whispered "where's Dream?"

He was already walking to Matt's room before I could give him the answer. I jogged after him trying to persuade him not to wake her up. I wanted some answers first. I knew if he woke up Dream right now, my questions would not be answered for some hours. Jin stood at the doorway watching his little girl snore softly. "Wow, She...she really grew up"

I walked past him and placed Junior back on the bed with his sister. He was now done with the honey bun, and gave me the wrapper to throw out. I pecked him on the cheek before tucking him back in the bed. Jin just stood there watching. When I was done he asked "what happened to your face?"

Again with that question

I didn't answer until I was out the room. As we walked back to the kitchen area, we found Jason gone. Probably left for his morning run. So I had a few minutes to start asking questions.

We sat across from each other. And it's like he was waiting for me to attack him with my curiosity. But honestly..I didn't know where to start. I really wanted to just leap into his arms and never let go. I felt like if I left him out of sight, he would be gone again.

"What happened to your face?" He repeated now frowning.

I let my hair down so it could cover the bruises. "It's nothing...I..just fell...."

"You fell? On what? A bear trap?"

"Very funny Jin..that's not important right now." I sighed

He gave me a look of disbelief "are you kidding? It's important to me-

"so what happened to you...I thought you were...you know...dead. But now I can see you're alive..." I said trying to changed the subject

He nodded "yeah..I am" then he gave me a hurt look "So why didn't you come see me?"

"What?"

"You just disappeared Quinn. I mean I know maybe our last conversation wasn't the best...but Jesus Quinn...you didn't come see Jason to get any updates..you didn't call, your brother didn't call, it was like you all just deleted me from your life-

"What? No! No! We thought you were dead Jin! Everyone thought you blew up into small pieces" Okay this was not getting anywhere. So I just finally asked "can you just start from the beginning? Because I'm as lost as you are"

Was I being lied to? Did Nick lie to me? Did Matt lie to me? What the hell was going on?

Jin just sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. Silence erupted from us, that I was a bit uncomfortable. I was so in need of answers. But I didn't want him to pressure him on telling me. So I just waited. He finally popped his open, but still did not give me the contact I wanted. "Yeah you're right...

"I'm right?"

He nodded and his blue eyes locked on mine "a guy did blow up. But it wasn't me"

I leaned in closer ready for him to start explaining. I didn't want to miss anything.

He explained that he, Zack, Nick and Dylan were just paroling around the area with other soldiers. The war was coming to an end and the violence did in fact decrease. "Those people are just so evil..."

"Evil? What do you mean?"

He stared right into my eyes and nodded "they would even sacrifice their own if it meant taking one of our lives"

They discovered a minefield. It wasn't far from where they were. A normal human would not go near that damn minefield. But one did. A child. Maybe a few years older then Dream. But the way he described the little boy all I could picture is someone really tiny. Fragile figure, he described him as if the boy was sick. "He was so tiny, I could break him with one hand"

The boy ran into the mine-field and Dylan chased after him. It didn't matter how loud you screamed or how hard you tried to stop Dylan. He had to throw his gun to make it to the boy faster. "What happened next?" I said clawing the hell out of the chair; I was so nervous. I knew what happened but hearing him say it so calmly made me feel real helpless.

He scrunched up his lip to keep from frowning. "You know what happened."

Dylan blew up with the boy. How could he do that! Risk his life like that. But I should be the last person talking because who knows what I would have done. "I tried to stop him. I chased after Dylan but only made it in time to witness him him blow up. And that's when I froze. I didn't know what to do. All I was focused on was Dylan's blood all over me, I used Dreams blanket to wipe off the blood from my eyes" Jin whispered

That's explains the bloody blanket.

He then stated a group of Iranian soldiers piled up and started shooting at them. They used the boy as a trap. And it worked. They killed everyone. Shot Zack right in the head; killing him instantly. Shot Jin four times. I don't know how he was able to survive that. It just seemed impossible.

"I woke up at the hospital after the coma. Everyone thought I was Dylan. I forgot a lot of things that happened but Dylan's and Zack's death will not escape my head" he then paused "and then...to find out..that you didn't come see me....I thought maybe you hated me...

"Jin, no I-

"I know, you didn't know. I tried to get Sophia to help me find you, I was too weak to do it myself. I missed you Quinn...I missed you so much." He said standing up.

So is that why Sophia was at my doorstep? How did she know where I lived? How the heck did she find me? Wait...what about Matt?

I imitated Jin and also stood up. "Wait, did your brother know you were at the hospital?"

Jin visually looked really pained. He grasped on to my arms and pulled me in a tight hug "let me just hold you for a second."

I hugged him back. It felt so great. I had a great smell of his neck as I snuggled deep in there. He smelled like cologne and flowers. I relaxed in his arms forgetting all about Matt. I wouldn't mind staying like this. It's funny how his one hug could change my whole mood.

Once Jin finally pulled away, he started wiping the tears on my face. I didn't even know I was crying. He half smiled "you're so beautiful...

I frowned "you think so? Even with the whole weight gain-

"Stop. You can be 600 pounds, and my attraction for you, will never disappear-

I giggled "even if I have rolls? Double chins?"

"You can have six double chins and my love for you will not be questioned. I love you no matter what size you are Quinn. I just can't lose you, not anymore. It was painful to be away, and I don't want to experience that again..."

My heart fluttered. And a smile spread on his face. It was contagious. "Quinn...do you forgive me?"

"For?"

He focused on my face some more "for all I done to you..."

"Jin...I'm more concerned about you. You lost two of your best friends.. you witnessed their deaths and-

"Yes Matt knew I was in the hospital...I was in a coma for awhile. Jason told me Matt didn't want to come see me. The pain was too much for him, I never heard from him ever since"

I squinted my eyes at him. Anyone could see how it hurt him when I mentioned Zack and Dylan. Even mentioning his own brother, he looked like he wanted to just break down.

So Matt knew. So why didn't he tell me? Did he genuinely think Jin wasn't going to make it? Was that why he was an emotional wreck? Or maybe he did know and didn't want to tell me to save me the grief. I don't know. And I hope I don't find out.

I'm afraid of the answer.

Jin sighed "I've been having bad hallucinations. Its like I see you everywhere I go, that's why I didn't think I was really seeing you-

"Who did you think I was?"

He shrugged "my brother does tend to have a lot of girls over" he smiled before frowning once again "I can't sleep well anymore, I sometimes wake up with headaches. There are times that I don't breathe in my sleep. Any loud noises I hear gives me Minnie heart attacks, it's like I'm living the war all over again. I keep having nightmares of Zack and Dylan....Jason has been really helping me cope. I just wish Nick came to see me. He has been very distant.."

Very understandable. He lost his brother.

"And I just wish Matt would come back home, I have no idea where he is. Have you seen him? Or talked to him recently?"

Oh I left him bleeding to death on the kitchen floor back in our house.

I shook my head

He sighed "I'm going to look for him as soon as the doctor says it's safe for me to do so. He's my little brother and this emotional roller coaster he's going through isn't healthy-

"What do you mean?" I blurted out

He didn't answer my question. He went back into scanning my face. "So..you did fall right? No one hit you right?"

I nodded

"Promise?"

I nodded again.

He relaxed his face and smiled. "You're so clumsy, you have to be careful."

I cleared my throat "you're not leaving again are you?"

He shook his head and smiled some more "not right now." He grabbed my back and pushed me closer to him. "You're mine. I'll never leave you or the kids ever again" his eyes were now glistening and it was not long before he was trying to find my lips. But I was still married. Married to his brother. And I needed to let him know that. I didn't feel right kissing him, even though I really REALLY wanted to.

He grabbed both my cheeks to halt me from moving. "Want me to show you how much I missed you?" I couldn't even nod. He had my head that tight.

Then his lips crashed onto mine. The kiss was demanding and it was so aggressive but gentle at the same time. His fingers roamed through my hair in desperation and I tried so hard to pull away. It was not until he backed me onto the wall, and unbutton my jeans that I was lost in his spell. "God I missed you so much" he said in between kisses. I felt him take off his shorts. He lifts me up from the waist and grabs both legs, once he successfully ripped my panties off with one jerk. He didn't give warning when burying deep inside me.

Divorce life was so miserable. It was more miserable since I didn't have my best friend and her kids with me. God I missed Dream and Junior.

But I was also happy for them. Matt made a great father and a great husband. Just wished they visited once in a while.

But I didn't want to complain. She was married now and was living her best life. But what about me? Well...I've been depressed.

I missed Jackson.

I regret ever asking for a divorce. I thought maybe he would be willing to fight for me. I wanted him to make more of an effort. But he just let me go. We don't talk. He even blocked me on Facebook. So I can't stalk him now.

All I know is that he's in college, doing god knows what.

I wish I could just have one more conversation with him. I'd give anything for that.

I was in the process of baking some brownies when my doorbell rang. I don't usually have visitors; so I assumed it might be Quinn. Maybe she came for a surprise visit.

Giddy with excitement, I took off my apron and sprinted to the front door. I wanted a hug. A real bad one. I haven't been feeling myself anymore. I would smile on the outside but on the inside, I was hurting. Really bad....

Once I opened the door, I was met with a familiar face.

It wasn't Quinn..

It was her brother. Jackson. My ex-husband. He came back! He came back! And I can't even describe how handsome he looked staring back at me; his one blue eye was glistening in the sun as the brown one turned darker the longer it stared at me. He still looked the same, only thing different was he grew out his thick beard. He had his everyday attire that consisted of sweats and a tight tank top, revealing his ripped muscles. I couldn't help but notice he tattooed over my name on his arm. On our first year of being married, We both decided to get each others names tattooed on our bodies. He chose the arm for my name and I chose my wrist for his.

But he covered my name with a red rose.

My heart dropped to my belly

"Has Quinn called you?" He said placing his foot inside the house as if I was about to shut the door in his face. I tired not to look hurt "no why? Have you called her?"

He shook his head "she called me two nights ago from Matt's phone. I tried calling back but nothing"

I frowned and just shrugged "well go see her then, and find out, but I'm pretty sure it's nothing"

Jackson had no expression on his face. Did he even miss me? He just acted as if I was a disgrace just by the tone in his voice. He finally smiled and said "wow I didn't think of that! Thanks for suggesting that"

I didn't know if he was being sarcastic or not but I didn't like his stupid tone. I fought the urge to not roll my eyes.

He started walking back to his car. I followed him. My mother told me never to chase after a guy, but this is the guy I want to spend the res today my life with. I had to fix it. I had to at least try. You fight for what you love right? So that's what I was about to do.

He opened the drivers door so wide I could see who was in the passengers seat.

Sophia

My heart bounced.

What the hell?! Why was she in the car with him?

She pointed directly at me and Jackson swiftly turned around "yes Cindy? What do you want?"

"Why is Sophia there-

"Why does it matter? We aren't married remember? I can talk to whoever I please-

"But-

"You ended things Cindy. Not me" He said; his voice now getting cold.

I smiled to try hard not to show my pain. "Fine. Whatever."

I didn't want to see Sophia in that car. I tired so hard not to look, but I couldn't help it. So I walked back to my town house. I knew as soon as I shut the door, I would burst into tears.

"Cindy" Jackson started

I looked over my shoulder; biting my tongue to stop from tearing up. Jackson seemed oblivious to this "we are going to Florida to see Quinn-

"Why?"

"Well, Sophia just told me Jin is alive...and more things....

"....what things?" I said now fully facing him

"Look when she happens to call you, just let her know that Jin is alive, Alright?"

He didn't wait for me to answer back because he hopped back into his car and pulled out of my driveway. In seconds he was gone. With Sophia!

I was boiling and confused at the same time. Jin is alive? He could have at least told me some more details. But he just left with my enemy. I quickly went inside and dialed Quinn. Nothing. I dialed her again. Still nothing. Her machine went straight to voicemail. So I called Matt praying he would pick up.

He did

On the first ring.

"Is Quinn there?" Was all I heard him say.

My heart dropped "what? Is she missing?" I said gripping the phone a little tighter.

There was a pause

"No, I'm sorry for scaring you. She must be out shopping with the kids or something" he chuckled.

I relaxed. "Sounds just like her. Do you know why she isn't answering my calls?"

He chuckled some more. "I forgot to pay for the phone bill. So don't worry, she's not purposely ignoring you, how are you Cindy?"

Bad! Totally bad. But I sucked in my anger and said "good, I'm fine" I then started telling him about what Jackson told me. How he and Sophia are on their way to Florida

"Oh are they now? That's cool. I'm sure Quinn would be happy to see them"

I giggled thinking of the hell Sophia was about to go through once Quinn saw her with Jackson. I finally started to tell Matt about what Jackson told me about Jin being alive. I asked him if he knew anything about it.

All Matt responded was with a "Jin is alive? Are you sure?"

"What do you mean am I sure?"

Another pause

"I guess I'll have to check it out for myself." He said

"You're coming down to North Carolina?"

"Yeah. If my brother is alive, I want to be the first to see him." And then he hung up. I tried calling back but it went straight to voicemail as well.