"Well you look like you're in a good mood." Micheal says and I nod trying not to smile for what feels like the thousandth time today.

Last night was so good, literally perfect in every way possible. Well that curiosity was certainly proven wasn't it? It was good, great even. 

I started to feel self conscious of course after only a minute in. I didn't know how to kiss anyone and to kiss him....was terrifying. He probably was just being nice, it was probably pity because he knew how inexperienced I was.

Nobody ever tells you where to put your hands either, especially as a nervous wreck who's never really kissed someone. I started to get worried when he touched me, ran his hands over my body. What would he think? I was a skinny, flat-chested, boring girl who up until then, was one of his best friends.

I didn't feel very beautiful, I thought I was plain and simple. Where most girls would have curves or slight softness, I had muscles. 

But then I think about how nice it really felt. How much I liked being close with Nate and how much he cared about me. Part of the reason I stopped everything was because I didn't want things to go somewhere they shouldn't. Not when I got nervous when I breathed the wrong way around Nate and when he still had a girlfriend.

I took everything I had this morning not to tell her I made out with her boyfriend last night. Especially when she was making fun of how stiff I was. I've never felt like this before, like I belonged in this world as much as I belonged in the skating one.

"So what happened? Did your dad let you eat a cube of cheese or something?" He asks and I shake my head feeling that smile start to surface again. 

"No, nothing like that." I say and he narrows his eyes.

"Then what?" He asks giving me a push and I laugh. 

Just then Nate walks into the cafeteria, I glance over slightly and he meets my eyes. He gives me a small smile and I smile too before he disappears to his other friends.

"Oh. My. God." Micheal says. "You kissed him didn't you?"

"What?" I ask but I can hear the way my voice got higher. I clear my throat and look away.

"You did!" He exclaims and I put my hands over my eyes.

"I know!" I say excitedly and he laughs.

"Wow, maybe you are an ice queen. Kissing someone else's boyfriend is a real cold-hearted thing to do."

"Oh whatever, she's made my life and yours a living hell." I say rolling my eyes.

"So how was it?" He asks and I laugh uncomfortably.

"It was nice." I tell him and he raises his eyebrows.

"Oh nice." He teases and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, nice." I say crossing my arms.

"So could it be true? Is the ice queen developing real feelings or emotions?" He asks and I run my hand over my forehead.

"Maybe? I don't know.....I mean isn't it weird to like someone you've known since childhood?" I ask and he laughs.

"Well he's been out of your life for a while, now you two are back, more grown up. You've changed a bit and so has he, maybe those feelings were never just friendship? And once the friendship part is gone all that's left is-"

"A crush." I mumble and he nods.

"Exactly." He says and I sigh.

"I don't want to get excited about it yet." I tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"Why not? Clearly he likes you!" He insists.

"Maybe because he's still dating Sabrina." I point out and he shrugs.

"I give it another week or two at best." He says nonchalantly. "If that kiss scrambled his brain anything like it did yours it's just a matter of time."

"Hey guys!" Irene says sitting down across from Micheal. "Hey baby." She adds reaching out her hand to hold Micheal's.

For a while the three of us are simply talking, mostly about figure skating and the club. I found it so odd that the two of them didn't seem to talk about anything else. They didn't talk about each other or their families. Occasionally Irene would steer the conversation that way but Micheal would always steer it back.

"Hey Micheal." We hear and I turn to see another guy in our grade standing next to our table. "Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to bring over the notes you lent me."

Micheal looks tense, stressed even, but he's trying to keep it together. He takes the notes from the other boy and even I must say I'm confused. Number one, none of us really made friends outside of skating. Number two, nobody came over to our table at school unless it was to make fun of us. Something's up.

"Thanks Dean." He says with a tense look. "This is Irene, I told you about her."

Irene gives me the same conflicted look, the sort of look that sums up 'why has he told you about me, when I have no idea who you are'. 

"Right of course, Micheal talks about you all the time." He says and she gives him a tight smile.

"I...can't say the same." She says furrowing her eyebrows back to Micheal.

"Sorry, I'm Dean. I'm Micheal's-"

"Friend." Micheal cuts in and they both nod making odd eye contact. "Dean's in my chemistry class, we've met up to study a few times." Irene gives him a slow nod. Trouble in paradise, watch out Micheal. 

"I'm Sasha." I say extending my own hand and he furrows his eyebrows.

"Sasha....." He says slowly and I nod. "Sorry, I just....I thought your name was-"

"Elsa?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

"Well, it's just what I've heard people call you." He replies sheepishly and I sigh.

"So, Micheal hasn't mentioned me then?" I tease. "I didn't even know you had it in you to make a friend Micheal."

"Yeah surprise." Micheal says. His mood has completely changed, his happy, normal, sarcastic self is gone.

"Well sorry again for the interruption, I'll um-let you get back to it." Dean says with a small wave. 

"Nice to meet you." I say with a smile then look at Micheal. He's staring off into space as if I can't see him, as if something's wrong. "Well he seems nice."

"Micheal can I talk to you?" Irene asks and he nods quietly. I watch as the two of them leave the table, leaving me all alone.

I sigh and pull out my phone, I didn't feel like eating much of anything. Suddenly I feel something hit me and land on the table next to me. An ice cube. Well that's a new one.

I hear the laughter that follows and I feel my cheeks flame. "Hey ice queen!" Normally they didn't get a rise out of me like this, I was usually so good at keeping my emotions in check. Right at this moment I feel like crying and balling up, that isn't me. I take a deep breath and rake my fingers through my hair trying to stay calm. 

"What's wrong Elsa? Even your skating buddies are ditching you now?" Jake says and I smirk. Sabrina laughs again and Nate looks more angry now than I've ever seen him before. 

"God how pathetic can you get?" Sabrina asks.

"Enough." I hear Nate huff out under his breath. "Just leave her alone."

"Why?" Jake asks with this disgusted look on his face. "Who cares?"

I don't wait around to hear anymore insults I just stand and leave the room. I call Alex wondering where he is right now but it goes to voicemail. I try Nik and it rings a few times before I hear him pick up.

"Sasha? What's up?" He asks and I sigh.

"Where are you right now?" I ask quietly trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.

"I just got out of a math test, why?" He says and I press my lips together.

"Can you meet me?" I ask feeling my voice break.

"Where are you?" He asks urgently. I tell him where I am and he promises he's on his way. Soon enough he's in front of me and I feel my face getting red and the lump in my throat.

"Here let's go outside." He says and I nod following him out the main doors. "What happened?"

"Why do they have to be so mean?" I ask quietly and feel the tears starting to run over my face. "They never stop." He gives me a hug and I feel more tears flowing.

Just yesterday I was with Nate, discovering his box of things he kept of me. Now he was in the cafeteria sitting with the people that made my life a living hell.

"I go home, I get it from dad. I come here, I get it from them. It doesn't end, and they make such stupid jokes all the time that I normally don't care. But they're just too much today and I don't know why-"

"Who was it?" He asks and I wipe the tears away.

"Jake and Sabrina." I tell him. "I'd say most of the teasing comes from them anyway." He huffs and starts to walk away and back towards the school, but I stop him. "Please don't."

"Why not?" He asks. "They're awful."

"Don't cause a scene Nik." I beg shaking my head. "I called you because I just wanted you here, not for vengeance. You and I know that this gets ten times worse if you do anything drastic." I say and he sighs but nods hesitantly. "I don't want you to do anything that's going to mess up your hockey. That's your ticket out."

"I haven't decided if I'm doing that yet." He says shaking his head. 

"What do you mean you haven't decided?" I ask feeling confused. "You'll get to be away from our hell house. It's good for your future, you need to do this."

"Sasha I'm not going to leave you in that house alone with dad." He says quietly. "I'm not saying you're weak or you can't handle this on your own, we both know you're the strongest out of me, you and Alex. But if we leave, then you'll be alone. I can't do that to you."

"Please accept the offer." I beg quietly. "You and I know there isn't money for college."

"Then I'll work for it." He says plainly. "You're my sister, and dad isn't going to ruin you too."

"I love you." I say quietly and he nods giving me a hug.

"I know, I love you too." 

>

I'm so out of it tonight on my way to practice I can't think straight. My day started so well too, thinking about last night and how wonderful it was. Then it was Micheal and Irene's weird behaviour at lunch, then the teasing and then Nik changing his mind.

I couldn't skate like this, I'd faint on the ice. I needed to take a minute to get myself together. I quickly excuse myself and run down the hallway hoping to find a bathroom but instead I collide with someone. Before I even know what hit me I'm getting dragged down the service hall. I look up seeing dirty blonde hair, green eyes, Nate.

"I'm sorry." He says quickly. "Not just for running you over but for today at lunch." I nod trying to keep my heartbeat under control and calm down after the sudden ambush.

"No, I know you stuck up for me." I say shaking my head. "I appreciate it."

"I feel awful about them. I want to move away from them but....it takes time." He says and I close my eyes nodding when I feel his hand rest on the side of my face.

"What's wrong?" He asks and I press my lips.

"I just feel like so many things are my fault, like I'm at the centre of it all. I've put you in an uncomfortable spot with your friends, people like Alex and Micheal are actively lying to keep my secrets. Nik told me today he's going to turn down his hockey offer so he can stay home and be there for me until I graduate. And as twisted as it is I still feel like I'm letting my parents down." 

"None of that is your fault." He says and I shake my head truly not believing him. "It's also me with my friends, if I didn't want problems with them I wouldn't have come back to you. But you have to know that I don't care what happens with me, because I care about you." He whispers and I feel hot tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Well I do care what happens to you, because you're one of the most important people in my life." I whisper back and he smiles. "I'm glad you're back."

"I wish I never left." He says pulling me into a hug and I take a deep breath. "Is there a chance I could sneak back in this weekend and take a look at that Nate album?" He teases and I laugh.

"Maybe." I tell him and pull back to look at him. "When did you get so tall?" I ask and he laughs.

"Well I went through puberty." He teases and I laugh. The air between us is practically humming and suddenly our smiles disappear. "Look about last night......" Here it comes, something about how he feels bad about it or it was wrong. "Well I don't know how to say this without sounding creepy, it was nice." He says and I sigh, relieved it wasn't one sided.

"Sure." I say with an embarrassed smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. I lean in just a touch and kiss him once then pull back. "I need to go before dad comes looking for me, but I'll see you soon." He nods and gives me a small wave. I walk with a big smile on my face and return back to the rink with flushed cheeks.