My tears were falling like the rain last night as all emotions caught up with me. I was in love with Adrian and I believed that he felt the same way, but instead he only played with me. Despite hating him for what he did to me and the way he left, he still has the power to upset me. Just like he did last night in front of the club. It's the place where we met and where everything started. It seems to end there as well.

But what is done, cannot be undone, and now the only guy in my life is Julian. Since tomorrow I am leaving for good, I asked him to meet one more time which he accepted. However, he is coming to my house as after what his mother did, I refuse to go to his.

___

It's evening. The atmosphere is very calm, silence being the only noise. My apartment is emptied and cleared, the oil stains on the kitchen wall being the only sign I ever lived here. I've always been alone and renting this apartment for the first time was my first big achievement. It meant freedom and no one could take me back to the orphanage. Now life is making me move on but leaving makes me feel nostalgic.

The the only source of light is my dim yellow lamp. It makes it all look very sensual and that's exactly what I want. I'm wearing my best lingerie set and Julian could come any minute.

Just as I thought about him, he knocked on the door and I shouted that it's unlocked so he could come in. I sat half naked on the couch while he approached me, removing his blazer and unbuttoning his shirt. Without a word. He scooped me up like a child and carried me to my bedroom, gently laying me down on the bed.

I was pinned down by his body and he wrapped his fingers round my neck, bringing his lips closer to my ears in order to whisper.

"I want to make love to you." His voice is raspy and it gives me goosebumps. Despite the fact that what he said is purely romantic, I've never heard anything sexier.

"Then get to it." I whispered back, knowing very well what it means.

Fucking is one thing, but making love is a completely different concept. I can't tell what it will mean for us tomorrow, but right now it is all I want. Something I like about Julian is how I waited ready to be taken by him, and he walked in removing his clothes. He had the exact same scenario in his mind, and he didn't need to go through the initial surprise of seeing me all ready for him.

We understand each other without having to say anything because our bodies speak the same language.

I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling him get hard against my thigh. There is no light expect the little coming from that living room lamp. The darkness turns me on. He flipped me around to lay on my tummy, making my hands drop in front. Then I heard him pull his boxers down. I felt his body's weight rest on top of mine and he buried his face between my hair and my neck.

Our heavy breathing was the only thing we could hear and it was replaced by soft moans as he gently penetrated me. The previous two times he was fast and I was needy, but this time we were slow. I intensely felt every single thrust and so did he. It created the urge for him to pull my hair and for me to spread my legs wider so he could speed it up until we start fucking roughly. But instead of following that physical urge, we followed the one inside us. The one which told us to feel like one.

He dropped next to me once we both orgasmed. I remained on my tummy and studied him quietly as he stared up at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. I still cannot figure out what it is that he makes me feel and how does his presence manage to undermine all my emotions for Adrian. Okay let's not think about Adrian now.

"Don't leave tomorrow." He broke the silence, still keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling. I remained calm, happy to hear these words.

"I have to." I was disappointed as I said it but it's the fact.

"No you don't. There are other clubs you can work at." He remarked but I denied it.

"No, there are no bosses like Tom. Others would treat me like crap and expect me to dance for whoever asks." I told him how things are and as a grown man he knows very well that the world out there isn't kind.

"What about that library job? Could you work full time there?" His suggestion is an idea I didn't yet consider, but it is an option.

"I could yes. But the salary will be much lower." It sounds as though I'm trying to find excuses to go, but it's not the case.

"I will pay the difference." He proposed but I immediately showed it's a no with my eyes.

"I won't accept that. I am not your responsibility." I declined and he finally looked at me.

"No you are not, but I want a chance with you. I am asking you to stay here for me and I am going to compensate for all your financial losses." He persisted and I shook my head, propping up on my elbow.

"No I can't accept that." I refused him once again. He watched my face and stroked my cheek.

"Answer this honestly. Do you want to stay?" I swallowed as he asked, looking down at the sheets.

I simply nodded.

"Then think about my offer. I will provide you with finance even if things don't work out between us, until you find a better paying job." He continued convincing me. "Just think about it."

"Fine, I have till the morning to decide..." I said with obvious irony in my voice, referring to the time when my train is supposed to leave.

"I'll make sure to wait next to you until then. Not that I'd let you leave once you admitted you want to stay." He smirked then pulled me closer and I rested on his chest.

It's a big decision that I have to make and there is no way I can know whether he is the right guy from now. I will have to take a risk...