I lost Lana for good. And I am not surprised, the game I played only had one ending. When she turned to Julian I got pissed, really pissed. He didn't deserve her virginity, but neither did I. Somehow I could accept it because I knew she did it out of spite. But this morning mum came in and told me that she caught them together again. I still don't understand why I let her go for Crystal. I guess I thought no one else would take her for me and she'd come chasing me. I love it when she begs. Something about her being emotionally dependent on me and vulnerable, fearing I'd leave her is what turns me on. But she failed to understand my sadistic nature. And I don't blame her, I am glad I cannot hurt her, because I surely would.

Still, I can't stand her being with Julian and if they continue whatever this is, I still have one card to play. The same card he could have played while I was with her but chose not to. If I use it, I'll break them.

___

Ellen is coming back to her apartment today. She too, is leaving town because of the club and she has things to pack here. We also need to inform the old lady who is our landlord and pay her two months' rent in advance as stated in our contract.

The whole situation with Julian makes me upset when I think of her. I need to stop hiding it and tell her everything. One might say that I am a terrible friend, and maybe I am, but in my heart I know that I didn't do it in order to hurt her, the thing between them slipped my mind at the time.

What really surprised me is that Valentin will be moving too and they'll live together. It's rather too soon if you ask me, but if they are happy I am happy.

When she finally arrived, I made us some snacks so we could enjoy our gossip session. It's been a while since the two of us sat down together and alone. Valentin is taking Sam to the playground so we have plenty of time.

At first we talked about packing and how our new life will look like. While we discussed it I felt certain heaviness in my chest, not very eager to move. I think it has to do with Julian but I don't understand why I bother at all. She went on and told me all about Valentin in more detail, explaining how things are moving on really fast between them. In a way she is scared, but in a way she doesn't have anything to lose by trying. He seems genuine but the main thing she fears is how attached Sam is becoming to him, so if they were to break up, he might take it badly.

"Any news with Adrian? Still ignoring you?" She changed the subject onto me, mentioning the last thing I told her about him. I sighed, knowing it's time to tell her.

"Actually something major happened and I didn't think of you before doing it. It eats me inside but I couldn't tell you before we met." She made a confused face once I started telling her, unsure what she has to do with all of this.

"Spill it, I'm curious." She is relaxed, but I don't know how she'll react to the rest.

"It's not Julian who slept with Adrian's girlfriend, it's Adrian who did it. Julian was the last person I could ask about what's going on and he told me that Adrian got back with that girl which they fought over. Her name is Crystal. Then Julian invited me to their family event as his date and we both wanted to make Adrian pay. So we had sex." As I told her everything, she gasped placing a hand over her mouth. But she doesn't appear angry, more shocked at the turn of events.

"Wait what?!" She exclaimed unable to keep it down. I sighed again.

"I'm sorry Ellen. I know he was a dick to you and you were pissed. But in those moments I completely forgot that happened and all I thought about was hurting Adrian. I can't believe I'm saying this but Julian is the good guy." I concluded, feeling a bit better that I let it all out.

"Relax! I can understand you. It's not a great thing but if it weren't for you, I'd never meet Valentin. And besides, I know you inside out so I know that you are not a bad friend. I am not a teenage girl anymore, I get these things. The guy simply didn't like me and that's okay." Once again, Ellen showed how mature she is and made me feel at ease. I now feel a bit better about myself.

"Thank you for understanding. It means a lot because it's a mess inside my head." I confessed in desperation. "He didn't know I was a virgin before we did it, and he called me again." I continued the story.

"And you had sex the second time?" She asked, wanting to understand the situation better in order to give me a good advice.

"Yes... Something seemed to change once he found out." Then I told her more details, including how I ran away and how he reacted awkwardly when I told him I'm leaving. "I'm not ready to move Ellen." I finally said it out loud, getting to the main point. She nodded giving me a serious look.

"You know already that this is the best work opportunity you can get so far. Turning it down is worth it only if a guy is the right one. But to decide on that you need more time which you don't have. He also told you no strings attached even though he seems more interested lately. But I'd still leave if I were you."

Her advice is quite simple but in my head it is not all black and white. I don't know what to do yet, but perhaps she is right and I should leave. Julian's sudden interest in me doesn't promise anything and could stop within a few weeks, while this job is something more permanent.

___

In the evening I went to the club to fill in some paperwork which Tom prepared for me. It is already closed and won't be working until we relocate. I bought a train ticket and I'll be leaving the day after tomorrow. I think I will call Julian to meet one last time. Even if he declines, I don't have what to lose.

As I closed the door, ready to leave, I wrapped my cardigan around me due to it being fresh outside. The wind is strong and it seems like there will be a thunderstorm. Realising that I don't have an umbrella on me, I thought it best to rush home. But when I looked at the pavement in front of me, I saw Adrian reading the notice on the wall of the club. Then he noticed me.

"The place is closing down?" He asked, not feeling surprised to see me. But I swallowed, feeling uncomfortable.

"Yes." I replied shortly and gripped my handbag tightly, rushing past him, but he pulled my arm and stopped me.

"Wait please." His sudden touch sent shivers down my spine so I pulled back, releasing myself. "Are you leaving town?" He didn't seem to pay attention to the fact that we are not talking, but instead acted like a clueless student who needs an explanation from his teacher.

"Yes." Once again I answered shortly and attempted to leave, but he stopped me in the same way.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The question made me laugh ironically. Isn't it obvious?

"Because it's none of your business." I stated and he finally acknowledged the situation between us. He looked at me while I avoided the eye contact by staring down at the floor.

"Don't forget I laid my claim on you." He spoke of me as of an object. He always did, not just now, but it is now that I am aware of how it really sounds. If he knew how to treat me good then it would be hot, but this way it is just disrespectful.

"Your brother ejaculated all over that claim. Twice." Without being careful, I spoke my mind. What I said provoked him as his face turned red in anger while I kept myself calm.

This time he didn't try to stop me but let me leave and I walked home as fast as I could. However my sassy comment failed to make me laugh. Instead it made tears fall down my cheeks.