It wasn't easy being away from Addie for too long; I could handle a few hours, but then I started missing her too much and I had to go back there to hold her again. Carly was usually by my side whenever we went over to the hospital, but on one evening at the beginning of May, Carly was out with Maisy and a couple of their girlfriends, so I made my way alone into the NICU.

"Just gonna be you tonight?" Nora grinned.

"Mm, Carly's in Dallas with a couple friends," I replied. "So I get this little one all to myself..." I grinned, peering into Addie's cradle. "Yes I do... Hi there... you're so damn cute," I gushed. Careful not to tear the IV or the sensor taped to her, I swept her up into my arms.

She immediately began to wail. A few weeks ago that would've horrified me and I would've quickly handed her off to one of the nurses, but I was getting to know the difference between my daughter's cries, including her I'm-in-a-pissy-mood cry.

"You're in a bad mood tonight, huh?" I cooed in a completely emasculating baby voice that made Nora smile every time she heard it.

I made my way towards the rocking chair in a corner of the room and let her rest against my chest, stroking her back. "I know... I know... you'd rather spend time with your friends than with your dad... totally uncool right? Well tough luck, sweetheart," I smirked, rocking her gently as her cries tuned into cute little whimpers.

A few days later, May 7th to be exact, was Carly's 21st birthday.

After fifty-two days in the NICU, May 7th was also the day we were finally bringing Addie home for the first time. On the eve of her coming home, Carly and I were running around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to make sure everything was good to go.

The nursery was complete, right down to Addie's name painted in bright pink above her crib. Carly had a baby shower a few weeks ago, so we were good on diapers for at least a month; we had toys and clothes by the box full; the whole house was baby-proofed; we had bottled breastmilk in the fridge since Addie was too damn picky and didn't like feeding straight from Carly's breast...

I collapsed in bed the night before we were supposed to take Addie home, feeling pretty confident about our preparations. We'd made it through so much already, so the homecoming should be a piece of cake.

Speaking of cake...

"It's two minutes after midnight," I pointed out as Carly slipped into bed next to me.

"Mhm," she murmured, not quite realizing what I was saying, or perhaps too exhausted or nervous – or both – to make the connection.

"Happy birthday," I grinned.

"Oh right, thank you," Carly giggled as I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. The kiss turned hot quickly and I pulled her in closer so that her side of the bed and mine didn't quite exist anymore. She cupped my face with her hands and I let mine wander down her side to settle on her hip.

We hadn't done this in a really long while – since early March actually, and it was safe to say I wanted her bad. It felt good to be this close to her again, to know that despite all of the craziness we could still be us.

"Did you put the car seat in the truck?" Carly asked when my mouth left hers to roam down her neck, nipping at the skin I found there.

"Carly," I groaned.

She pushed against my bare chest and forced me to look at her.

"Yes, I put the goddamn car seat in the truck," I replied with an amused smile. "Can I please have my way with you now?" I chuckled.

She didn't have to say anything. I could see the hesitation in her eyes.

I rolled back onto my side of the bed, putting a bit of distance between us. "Are you okay?" I asked her, gently running my thumb over her cheek.

"Yeah," she said uncertainly.

"I don't believe you," I argued.

"I'm bein' hormonal and stupid," she shrugged.

"What's wrong?" I urged her.

She took a deep breath and hugged her knees to her chest. "I'm gross," she said, staring pointedly at the sheets.

"You're not gross," I told her.

"My vagina is... it's all... stretched out and gross," Carly murmured.

I felt so bad, but I couldn't help it. I started to laugh.

"It's not funny, John!" she exclaimed, swatting me on the shoulder. She looked absolutely mortified, but slowly her expression changed and a small, faltering smile appeared on her lips.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said, trying to stifle my laughter.

"Is it okay if we just continue kissin' instead?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah, of course," I assured her, kissing the top of her head. "I'm not gonna pressure you to do anythin' you're not comfortable with," I added.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I'm sure," I nodded, kissing her shoulder and letting my chin rest there for a moment. "And in case I haven't been tellin' you enough lately... I think you're beautiful... all of you," I whispered against her skin.

"Shut up, you're just sayin' that," she giggled.

"I mean it, you're really hot," I told her with a sly smile, kissing her briefly. "And I'm still gonna think so fifty years from now when we're all old and crusty."

"You're gonna get old and crusty before I do," Carly laughed.

"You're not gonna trade me in for a younger model are ya?" I wondered playfully.

"Mm, I don't know, I'll have to see how well you age first... I'll get back to you on that one," she smiled.

John was quiet on the ride to the hospital and his expression remained a solid mask, unwavering. He was scared, but then so was I. Still, there was a sweet excitement as we entered through the very familiar doors of the hospital and made our way towards the elevators.

We were bringing our little girl home.

"I'm so scared," I giggled, squeezing his hand as we entered the NICU for the very last time. I was on video camera duty today, so I turned it towards John's face. He had Addie's diaper bag over one shoulder and the car seat was swinging from his right hand. "I know we're gonna be fine... we probably over-prepared... but I'm still scared," I added.

"Yeah," John said nervously.

"We'll be fine, we can do this," I said, assuring myself as much as him.

"We're goddamn rock stars," John grinned.

"We are rock stars," I agreed, turning the camera towards Addie's cradle.

The moment I saw my daughter, all of those nerves and the fear I felt vanished. I couldn't wait to bring her home with us and really begin our lives together as a family.

"Hey pretty girl," I whispered, handing the camera to John so that I could pick her up and cradled her in my arms. I kissed the top of her sweet little head. The nurses gave her a nice warm bath right before we got here so she smelled all nice and clean. "Are you ready to come home today? We've got everythin' ready for you," I smiled.

We got her dressed in a pink onesie that was slightly too big for her despite the fact that it was made for a newborn. I added a cute little bow on her head and wrapped her up in a nice woolen blanket my grandmother had made for me when I was born twenty-one years ago to the day.

I got really emotional when I saw Addie without any kind of tube or wire attached to her. We got to take some more pictures of her in our arms, as well as pictures of her in her car seat, which was so much bigger than her it was almost funny. Weighing four pounds now, she was over double the weight she'd been at birth, but that was still considerably small and we'd have to keep a close relationship with our pediatrician over the next year to make sure she was developing okay and hitting all of the milestones she was supposed to.

The doctor gave us a few pamphlets and a whole lot of reading material before he sent us on our way. Nora and a few of the other nurses hugged us and wished Addie good luck. She was one of the success stories that would be remembered in this hospital for years to come, and her first baby picture would appear with many other babies on the corkboard hooked to the wall near the entrance.

"Are you ready to go?" John asked me softly as he picked up Addie's car seat.

"Ready," I smiled, looking down at our sleeping daughter.

So we put Addie in the backseat of the truck and I climbed in next to her, just so that I could keep an eye on her while John drove.

"We're goin' home," I whispered.