I opened my eyes, dazed from sleeping in the most comfortable bed next to the warmest body, Lukas's body but somehow, I was cold now. My hands swept over the sheets, trying to find my own personal heater but he wasn't there, the only thing I felt was an empty spot next to me where Lukas should be laying.

I quickly sat up, observing my surroundings which was nothing more than Lukas's room. Trying to keep my sleepy eyes open, I saw a light shining from his desk and a shirtless Lukas bend over some books, only wearing his light grey sweatpants, his hair still visibly messy. "Lukas?" I whispered; my tired voice not ready to speak out loud just yet.

My voice echoed through the room, his head popping up from his book as he spun around on his chair. Damn he's wearing those black framed glasses again which I was so fond of from the beginning. "You're awake." He whispered his grey eyes tired but still holding the same longing as they did yesterday, but how could he not I was naked, trying to wrap the sheets around my shivering body.

"What time is it, what are you doing?" I asked probably asking too many questions for this time of the day, even though I had no idea what time it was... He stood up leaving his desk to shuffle over to the bed, to me. "Scoot over." He said softly taking the blanket in one of his hands, before crawling next to me, not hesitating to pull me into his arms, rolling my naked body on top of him. "It's 8 in the morning and I couldn't sleep so I got up to study, which gives me more time to spend time with you tonight." He smiled, pushing my messy hair out of my face with one of his hands before putting his lips to my forehead, letting them linger which was the sweetest thing to wake up to on a Thursday, any day actually.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" I asked, placing my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. One of his fingers started to run up and down my spine starting at the base of my neck all the way over my naked backside, goosebumps as the evidence how much I liked being touched my him in such a soft way.

"Don't worry about it Snowflake, it was nothing." He whispered, his hands stopped at the middle of my back for a minute. I frowned my brows at him, knowing he wasn't telling me everything, to be honest he was telling me nothing at all. "Really Bells." He sighed when he saw the frown on my face, not taking another lazy excuse for an answer.

"You better tell me, or I'll get going." I warned him already starting to pull away from him but his arms squeezed me even tighter. "Lukas, I'm serious, be honest or let me go." I said trying to wiggle out of his arms again but all it did was make the smirk on his face grow larger. I knew why the moment I realized that by doing so I was basically grinding on him, and I was the one who was fully naked. I huffed and sighed knowing I had nowhere to go as his arms wouldn't let go of me.

"Someone is in a bad mood this morning..." He teased me, his smirk still not breaking. How is it I'm in a bad freaking mood, you're being an ass, telling me half the truth. I had to bite my lip not to tell him what I was really thinking, trying not to make the situation worse, for me because he had me where he wanted me, on top of him, naked...

"Fine, don't tell me anything then..." I scoffed at him, shrugging my shoulders, trying to shrug my bad mood off with them, which wasn't a success.

"Are you going to be moody all morning or do I get good morning kisses?" He half smiled his fingers grabbing my chin to make me face him, my eyes glancing over the ink tattooed on them.

"Nope, not a chance... Not unless you decide to be honest for once and tell me why you couldn't sleep. I know there's some explanation you're keeping to yourself." I scoffed at him, pulling my chin away from between his fingers. I just want you to open up to me, to tell me what made you get up, away from me...

"You are being serious?" He shook his head, letting it fall back against the soft pillow, before sighing deeply, his hand nervously moving on my back. He was clearly nervous about telling me something. In of his hands reached up to his face, using his fingers to push his glasses up and pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Yes, dead serious." I said, frowning my brows at him again, this boy was giving me wrinkles...

He sighed again, his hands drawing circles on my skin, trying to postpone having to speak, or trying to find the right words. He lifted up his head to look at me, his eyes moist at the corners before swallowing and softly starting to speak, his voice practically cracking. "I had a bad dream about Logan." He said his lips almost trembling. I immediately felt guilty for making him say it, pulling it out of him as it was something, he never spoke about much unless that one time he was drunk and told me about the accident that killed his best friend.

"Do you get those often?" I whispered, snuggling my face in the crook of his neck, placing small kisses on his skin. I tried to comfort him, to make him feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it.

I felt him shrug his shoulders underneath me while he sighed. "It doesn't matter. I don't want to talk about it." He said, his voice trying to hide all of his emotions, good and bad. But it does matter to me, it matters to know what made you sad.

"What did you dream?" My curious mind urged me to ask him softly, but as soon as I was finished asking him the question he huffed and shook his head, pulling his neck away from where my lips were kissing his skin.

"It was nothing really." He said pinching the bridge of his nose again like he was having a headache, still not giving me an answer to my question. If he doesn't trust me enough to talk about this than what am I to him?

"Lukas, talk to me." I said, my face desperately finding the crook of his neck again, but he hissed at my words, completely pushing me off him before leaving the warmth of the sheets.

"What part of I don't want to talk about it didn't you get! For fucks sake, leave it alone." He raised his voice, almost yelling at me as he got up from the bed while rubbing his eyes, pacing over to his desk and continuing to study like nothing happened. What??? Another fight, really??

I curled into a ball, hugging the excessive amount of sheets draped over his bed, immediately feeling guilty for pushing him when he clearly wasn't ready to talk. Crap what do I do now... With glassy eyes, tears stinging at the corners I stared at his bare back as he sat behind the desk. I observed the tattoo on his ribs as I thought about a decent way to make things right with him. I don't like it when he's mad at me, I don't like it when we argue but this one's on me.

I sighed, pulling myself together as I pushed the comforter off me, my feet touching the cold hardwood floor. I grabbed my underwear from the floor where Lukas had taken them off yesterday. I walked closer to the door where I had unbuttoned his shirt, images of yesterday's bliss flashing through my mind. I had to make things right, I don't want to fight, not again. I picked up his black shirt, sliding it over my arms and buttoning up some of the buttons. I was in Lukas's sight if he had bothered to look up but he didn't, he kept staring at the same page, his elbows resting on his desk and his hands supporting his head as he hung over the book.

I strolled over to his desk, standing next to him, expecting him to look up, but he continued to sit with his head between his hands. "Lukas, look at me..." I whispered but he didn't move an inch, like I was invisible to him, like I didn't exist. "Luke..." I whispered again almost begging, my voice cracking with sadness while I softly pushed at his shoulder to grasp his attention. A jolt of hurt rushed through me, punching me in the gut as he didn't move, unaffected by my presence.

I hated that he was ignoring me like I was nothing to him... I thought I was past the insecurity of me not being worthy. I'm not going to give up so easily Lukas Kane Davis... I pulled my leg up wiggling it over his legs, making myself small enough to fit underneath his arms. "What are you doing?" He gritted through his teeth, trying to push me out of the way with his body, twisting and turning it but I was already where I needed to be. I squeezed my head underneath his arm, popping it back in the crook of his neck while lowering myself on his lap, straddling it, putting my arms around his chest. "W-What are you doing." He said his voice softer, skipping a tone with emotion. He gave up, taking his glasses off and throwing them on his desk as he e fell back into the chair with my arms around him, straddling his lap.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered softly against his warm skin, trying to swallow the lump of emotions in my throat. He softly placed his hands on my back pulling me closer to him, hugging me as I felt him sigh deeply.

"I just miss him." He said, his voice shaking, breaking into a sob as he buried his face into my messy hair, crying on my shoulder. "I...I'm sorry." He said again as his arms tightened around me, his chest moving up and down fast as he crumbled in my arms, trusting me with all of his feelings. "It was all my damn fault. I chose to drive even though I was too drunk." He gritted through his teeth as he tried to stop crying, but he kept sobbing.

I put some space between us, my hands grabbing each side of his face, my heart instantly breaking when I saw his teary eyes and tear-soaked cheeks. "Babe, you were sixteen, you're not the same person now." I said, my lip trembling, trying to keep myself from crying but I couldn't stop the tears from rolling over my own cheeks when I saw the sad state he was in.

"I'm still the same fucking asshole I was back then Bells." He shook his head, trying to shake my hands off but I didn't let him. Instead I held him steady, letting him know I wasn't going anywhere, not even if he tried to escape. "I'm a mean son of a bitch that doesn't care about anybody but himself. I even keep hurting you over and over again, and you always forgive me. Why? I'm not worth it. I know I'm not. You would be happier without me." He said, tears rolling down his cheeks as he grasped my wrists while his breath hitched, a certain sadness in his voice that had nothing to do with the passing of his friends but completely referred to us.

His fingers digged in my skin, holding a tight grip on my wrists trying to pull them away from his face but I refused to let my hands slip away from his cheeks. His words hurting me not because of me but for him, because he didn't feel good enough while all of his shortcomings made him who he was, and I loved him despite of all the mistakes he made. "Lukas stop!" I said a tear sliding over my cheeks, a tear that fell for him. "Yes, you are a prick sometimes but at least you're you! You don't pretend to be someone you're not, hiding behind an image that isn't true to yourself. Yes, you hurt me more than I can count but you always try to make it right. You always try make it up somehow and yes I forgive you every time and I would do it all over again because you are more than the asshole you think you are. You are kind and sweet, caring and attentive stealing flowers for me on our first date." I giggled through our tears, my thumb wiping away the tearstains on his cheek. "Foremost, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be happier without you! Without you and Mia I think I wouldn't have survived college longer than two weeks. You're all I have. So, if you think you can get rid of me that easily, you should have picked one of your college bimbos because I'm not going anywhere." I said, sighing when the words had left my mouth.

His fingers relaxed around my wrists as he let his forehead fall against mine, swallowing the lump in his throat that prevented him from saying a single word without breaking down all over again. "I get these dreams about the accident..." He whispered, his minty breath fanning my face, waving over my wet cheeks like a cold breeze before he swallowed again pushing another wave of sobs down his throat. "They... uuhm They..." He whispered, clearly struggling to talk as the words didn't glide past his full lips, squeezing his eyes, one of his tears falling on my nose.

"It's okay." I whispered, trying to encourage him, telling him he could do it and that it's okay to take his time. My thumbs caressed his cheeks again, wiping the tears staining his hot skin.

His hands slid from my wrists down my forearm, nervously brushing his fingertips against my skin. He had a hard time talking about it, but he was trying and it was the effort that counted. "They haunt me... ever since the day it happened... I'm used to them now." He said, taking a deep breath before continuing. "This time you were there too, I was driving, and it happened again." He said, his forehead still pressed against mine as his hands found their way to my neck, his fingers brushing against my skin. "I lost the two of you." He said, a sob escaping from his throat as his hands at my neck pulled me closer his forehead leaving mine while my arms wrapped around him as tight as I could.

"I'm right here." I whispered against the skin in his neck, my chest tightening with sadness. I was sad because he was, because he was afraid of losing me while I wasn't planning on going anywhere. "I'm right here Lukas." I whispered again.

"It just felt so real. You have no idea what a relief it was to see you lying next to me in bed." He sighed deeply, letting go of all the sadness that had been haunting him, sounding relieved he could tell me. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you to the point I'm going to lose you. To the point you won't forgive me anymore." He said, pulling back a bit, our faces perfectly aligned as his grey bloodshot eyes met mine and it felt like I was seeing him for the first time, the real Lukas, the one that isn't afraid to be vulnerable, the one without a brick wall keeping everyone out.

I put one of my hands through his black messy hair while the other one cupped his cheek. "If you are afraid it'll happen, then it will happen. You won't lose me Luke. Not that easily, unless you want to because now's your time to back out and run." I laughed, instantly making him smile, evaporating bits and pieces of the sadness clouding his mind.

"I refuse to run." He whispered, briefly closing his eyes to put himself together while I wiped away the tears on his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. He opened his eyes, before tucking a strand of messy blonde hair behind my ear. He smirked at me, the corners of his mouth turning up while his hands moved to my waist. "The reason I'm afraid is because I care about you...Very much...You're strong, opinionated, sweet, smart and beautiful and god knows what else..." He whispered while looking at me with the sincerest expression on his face, his hands nervously drawing figures in my waist. "And I'm in love with you." He whispered softly but confidently before pulling up his eyebrows, almost like he was afraid to hear my response. His words completely melted my core, my heart, my everything and it was at this moment I fully realized it was him, he was my everything.

He anxiously looked at me, yet his eyes were still soft and longing, his affection towards me radiation from them. I put my arms around his neck and tilted my head, a smile pasted on my lips. "I'm in love with you too." I whispered, leaning in, our lips just mere inches apart but when my words hit his ears, he didn't hesitate to close the gap between us, brushing his lips against mine with a never-ending smile on his face. When his lips touched mine, I could taste the salt of the tears that had been coating his lips moments ago.

We both had our own messed up history, our own issues to deal with but it's so much easier to work through them together. Another tear rolled down my cheek as his lips moved in sync with mine, only this tear was one filled with joy and happiness.

"Why are you crying?" He whispered against my lips, breaking our kiss ever so slightly as his hand cupped my face, brushing away the tears.

"Because I'm happy. Because you talked to me, really talked to me and because you love me." I smiled against his lips, truly happy and at peace. He made me feel alive, maybe for the first time ever.

His hands cupping my face pulled me back, his lips softly touching mine. "Snowflake, I will always love you." He whispered, his voice, cracking with emotions that had been stuck in his throat for way too long, his eyes looking relieved that he finally could say what his mind had only been thinking and his touch longing for my presence. I loved him, everything about him.