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Suffocating.

Suffocating is how I felt when I woke up.

Kai was wrapped around me and I can't even barely breath.

My wind pipe is crushed.

I'm laying on his chest as his arm is tightly wrapped around me and his other arm is around me but his hand is in my shorts on my bare ass.

He wasn't lying about being a ass man...

Laila is asleep beside us spread out like a starfish.

I decide to do the thing he's doing to me.

He is suffocating me.

I move my hands and wrap them around his throat before lightly squeezing it.

I smile scarily at him waiting for him to wake up.

He wakes up and doesn't even notice my hands on his neck.

"I like your smile," he says and I laugh and drop my head.

"You didn't even care that I was choking you," I say muffled in his chest.

"I like being choked. Did you not catch onto my pain kink when I had you pull my hair," he says as he laughs.

I roll my eyes at him and huff.

"Don't be upset," he says as he squeeze my ass.

"Why is your hand in my pants?," I ask him and he pauses for a second.

"I told you I like your ass. Did I not?," he asks me and I roll my eyes again where he can't see.

"I think I've heard it before," I say annoyed before sitting up so now I'm straddling him.

"Did your boobs like double in size?," he asks me and I look down at them and roll my eyes.

"I got implants. But their all natural. It's called milk that a certain someone needs to drink," I say as I look at Laila as she snores.

"That someone is me," Kai says and I laugh.

"You can try some I won't guarantee you will like it," I say to him and he laughs.

"There is some in my freezer," I say to him as I get off of him.

"Another day I will take you up on that offer," he says to me.

"How should I wake her up?," I ask him as I look at her sleeping form.

"Just put your nipple in her mouth," he says and I laugh.

"Okay," I say with a shrug.

"I don't want to get up so while I feed her can you pick me a outfit," I say to him.

"Sure," he says with a smirk.

This should be interesting.

Her outfit:

(Choose as you wish!)

"Why do you have so many of these type of shirts?," he asks me and I laugh.

"Because their cute and they look good," I say to him.

"Your right," he says to me and I laugh.

"Did you know Delilah and Oliver are siblings?," I ask him as I pull down the strap of my shirt as I cradle Laila.

"I mean they look a like," he says to me and I laugh.

"They are identical twins to be exact," I say to him and his eyes go wide.

"That explains a lot," he says to me.

I move Laila's head and rub her mouth against my nipple and she latches on and her eyes shoot open.

She smiles around my boob and I roll my eyes.

"They like to live separate and not be referred to as 'the twins' so that's why they don't talk about it" I say to him and he laughs.

"I would do the same thing so I can't blame them," he says to me and I laugh.

"If I had twins I would cry for years," I say to him as he gets his clothes to get changed.

"They would be so funny. 2 baby sunshines," he says as he shuts the door.

"Absolutely not," I yell back against the door.

I would not be able to take care of two babies alone.

"You need a diaper change," I say to her as I boop her nose.

She rolls her eyes.

"Do not roll your eyes at me young lady," I say to her and she has the audacity to bite me.

"Ouch," I shout and lean my head back.

Kai comes walking back in the outfit he wore yesterday as he didn't bring any other clothes.

"What happened?," he asked me.

"Once she's done eating you take this specimen away from me. She rolled her eyes and bit me," I say as I glare at her.

"With pleasure. I love baby sunshine," he says and I smile.

She continues to eat until she's full which means she only drained one side.

I unlatch her and pull my shirt up.

"They are now uneven," he say to me.

One is full of milk one is not so the size difference is very funny.

I start to make myself cry.

"I know. My doctor did me so dirty I just wanted big boobs and I'm stuck with this," I say as tears roll down my face.

"You scare me," he says to me and I roll my eyes.

"I will be less scary if you hand me my pump," I say to him and he nods.

I take it and put it on my right boob and instant relief.

Orgasmic.

We sit here as I drain my boob out before Kai looks at me worriedly.

"Is her forehead supposed to be this warm?," he asks me and I raise my eyebrows before feeling it.

It's very warm and she just looks uncomfortable.

She keeps on putting her hand on her ear and whining as she lays there.

"I think we should take her to the hospital," I say as my pump is full and I'm finished.

I walk into the kitchen and grab a milk bag and pour it out before walking back to my room.

I grab my clothes and some panties before going in the bathroom.

I get ready before I get out.

I quickly walk over to Laila and try to pick her up but she just moves closer to Kai.

I frown at that before walking and getting her a diaper and a plain pink onesie and handing it to kai.

"Can you change her?," I ask him and he nods.

He changes her before putting on the onesie.

"Are you ready to go see what's wrong with her?," I ask him and he nods his head.

I grab my purse and all my stuff before making it to the front of the apartment.

I grab Laila from Kai so I can buckle it in.

The second I grab her she starts crying and pulling away from me.

"Dada," she whines over and over as I buckle her into the seat and go to my side.

"Can you sit in the back?,"'I ask him and he nods his head before sitting back there with Laila.

She stops crying as I get in and start driving.

We make it to the hospital and Kai gets her out before holding her and taking her inside.

We talk to the receptionist and she tells us to wait in the waiting room.

We quickly walk there and sit as Laila does anything to stay away from me.

It does hurt when I just want to comfort her as much as she could comfort me right now.

They call us in and we sit on the bed.

The doctor does a routine scan and see that she has a ear infection.

We have to give her baby Tylenol and ear drops once a day.

He said if we do that then the ear infection will go away in a few days.

We grab everything we need before we walk out of the hospital.

I'm still worried for her and I just want to hold my baby but she doesn't want me.

We get back to the car now.

Kai sits in the back with Laila and I drive while music plays.

I try to hold back tears the whole time.

I just feel like such a bad mom right now.

It doesn't take us long to get home before we get out and walk back inside the house.

Greyson is on the couch watching TV when I get in.

Kai sets Laila on Greysons lap and she stares at Kai with puppy dog eyes wanting to be back with him.

Greyson just holds her still so she doesn't fall.

I stand behind the couch as Kai walks over to me.

He grabs my hands and pulls me to the room.

"Why are we in here?," I ask him and he turns to me.

"I didn't know if you wanted to do this infront of your brother," he says to me and I stare at him in confusion.

"I'm gonna go home I just wanted to kiss you before I left," he says and I nod my head.

He quickly wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into his chest for a hug.

I wrap my arms around his torso.

"She'll be okay don't beat yourself up to much," he says to me and I just nod my head.

He pulls back before he attaches his lips to mine in a sweet and gentle kiss.

Our lips melt into eachothers as we savor the kiss before he leaves.

I pull back and he pecks me once more before saying he has to leave and walking back out.

We say goodbye and he is gone.

Now it's just me and Greyson and Laila.

I walk into the living room to see her laughing at Greyson.

"Want to come to mommy?," I say to her and put my arms out for her.

I pick her up and place her on my hip.

It takes two seconds for her to start crying and pushing off me.

Greyson takes her back and holds her and she stops crying.

I frown at that again.

Why doesn't she want me? What did I do?

"Can you bring her to my room I need to feed her," I say to him and he nods his head.

We walk to my room and I sit on my bed.

I pull down one strap of my shirt and Greyson looks away as I grab her and try to get her to latch on.

She starts squirming and crying and trying to get away from me.

I try again.

I move my nipple into her mouth and she doesn't latch she just spits it out.

I'm on the verge of tears but I don't want her to see me crying.

I pull up my shirt and hand her to Greyson again.

I walk into the kitchen and get a bag of my milk and thaw it before putting it in a bottle.

I make the bottle and walk back into my room.

I see he's there sitting with her.

"Can you lay her down on the bed please?," I ask him and he nods.

He lays her on the bed and I sit down and hold the bottle for her.

She start to eat it hungrily and I look up to Greyson.

He looks at sympathetically.

"Just give her time she'll be okay," he says to me before walking out and shutting the door.

I feed her the whole bottle and she falls asleep.

That's when I let everything go as I look at her my eyes start to well up with tears.

I slowly pick her up and transfer her to the bassinet as tears drop down on her face.

"I'm so sorry. Your mommy's sorry. I love you so much," I say as I kiss her face and walk to the bathroom. I don't want her to hear.

I shut the door and start to sob in the bathroom.

I feel like she doesn't love me or need me when she pushes away from me.

I collect myself before going back into the room and getting into the bed.

I take off my shoes.

I just turn off the lights and lay in bed as silent tears trickle down my face.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper before I fall asleep.

☁︎︎

Here chapter 23!

Hopefully nobody comments that Aulora is a crybaby or something bc it's normal for moms to have mom guilt and be upset.

I made another tik tok for books that I am reading and the username is "addysonsreads" if you want to follow it!

I also have my Pinterest in my bio that I'm working on making aesthetic folders for the characters in both my books so bear with me.

Thank you for all the support!

I hope you have a amazing day and enjoy this chapter. See you next time I love you -addyson <33