"Loving you was the most painful form of self destruction."

-Maddie-

"We are engaged!" Amy squeals, hugging Ren. My gaze shifts from my plate to the two. Ren looks so happy while he stares at her with glistening eyes. A lump forms on my throat as I blink back tears. So he has someone else now, huh? How foolish of me to wait for so long.

The words I wanted to say so badly never came out. At that moment, I wanted to just disappear into the air or maybe just leave the room. Instead, I let out a little "Oh..."

"We are so happy for you." Shawn says, glancing at me. I can tell that my response was the opposite of what he expected. "Congratulations.." I force a smile. Who am I kidding? You are just a friend Maddie. Nothing more nothing less.

All their chatters becomes blurry to my ears as I register the fact that Ren, the man I liked for so long is finally engaged. I should be proud of him right? I mustn't be selfish. Shawn notices and immediately cuts them off. "It is getting quite late don't you think?" Shawn asks, glancing at me for the second time. He must've suspected something.

"Ah, yes. Where are my manners?" Ren says, waving his hands in the air. He opens his bag and hands us an invitation. "We hope to see you there!"

Shawn bows politely, telling me we can leave. I tear my gaze away from the two, pain slowly swallowing me whole. It was all just moving so fast. "Excuse us." Shawn says. He grabs my arm and we turned to leave the room. I took one last glance at the happy couple.

Ren lovingly hugged her as she giggled. I felt tears prick my eyes as I look away. This felt so unreal. So much like I nightmare I would dream of only to wake up from. Except now, it is the harsh reality.

This was too much for me to bear.

We went out of the restaurant. The cold air immediately hits the thin material of my skirt making me shiver. I shakily walk. I don't know if it was because of the flashback of the loving couple playing over and over in my mind or it was just the wind.

Suddenly, I felt something heavy and warm drape over my shoulder. The familiar scent of cologne wafts to my nose. I turn to see Shawn smiling at me as he gently pats my back. Quickly taking off the coat, I handed it to him. I tilt my head to the side as he scratches the nape of his neck. "Remember to bring your coat next time."

He drapes it over my shoulders and this time I don't hesitate. After all, I was freezing.

He opens the car door. "Lady's first?" He smiles, gesturing for me to step in. He gives me a curt bow as he ushers me in. I gave him a small smile and stepped inside. He sat on the driver's seat as he turned the engines on. There was a moment of silence.

I decided it would be best if I stared outside to lessen the tension of the awkward atmosphere. It was a bit traffic out. I slumped on the car's side, angling my head so that I could lean comfortably on the window.

Yes! We are enganged.

We hope to see you there.

These words keep on repeating over and over again. It was like some kind of broken recording that wouldn't stop.

We are engaged.

Engaged...

Tears started to cloud my vision. I sniffle a bit, blinking back tears once more. I knew that sooner or later I'd break down. Countless memories began flowing through my mind. All of those memories included him.

The time we went to disney land

The time he cried because his grandparents passed away

The way he...

Tears began streaming down my face. I face the other side, covering my face with my hair.

"Hey, are you alright?" Shawn asks. He looks at me concerned. "O-of course!" I lied, wiping my tears. I did a thumbs up. Shawn looks at me with concern but he doesn't say anything. I faced the window again.

I don't want him to see me this vulnerable. It felt horrible to say the least. Imagine a truck running over your entire being. That's how it felt.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Occasionally, the sounds of police whistles and cars beeping can be heard. The radio speaker would just announce a few words before moving on with the next song.

Soon, we reached my house. I quickly got out and shut the door behind me. Quietly, I thank him as I turned to leave. I just wanted to be alone right now. I don't want anyone to be burdened with my problems.

Suddenly, he grabs my arm.

I stumble but I do not fall. Breathing heavily at the sudden fall, I look at him, my eyes widening. He pulls me harder making me almost fall. I felt my face slowly heat up at the proximity of our faces. I wanted to run and leave but my legs just stood frozen on the ground. He stares at me as I stare at him. My legs were in an awkward position as we both gaze at each other.

He shyly clears his throat after a few moments. Helping me up, he tugs on my shirt's sleeve. My gaze never leaves his as I pursed my lips, allowing him to speak his mind. His eyes search mine as he lets out a deep sigh.

"If you need someone to talk to.." He mumbles, averting his gaze on the ground. His cheeks kind of turned pink. Fiddling with his coat, he mutters loud enough for me to hear.

"Call me."

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