Sitting in the corner, staring at the black wood of the door with hands wrapped around his knees Raijen was shaking in quiet fear mixed with anger.

Spending hours staring at it confirmed for him one thing, there was no way of opening them from the inside. It is not like he could open the door even if it was possible with the body of a one-year-old child.

Why did I allow myself to think it would be alright?

Raijen's mind was spinning, just as he started to relax, even enjoy himself under the circumstances, the red-bearded men with a sword decided to take it all from him again.

Watching my mother take care of little Brian, my brother, she was happy, at least I thought she was, she seemed so.

I was happy.

How could I be so stupid? Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had to know, did I just decide to ignore it?

Glancing at the other women it appeared as if nothing changed. Everyone was going through their routine of sewing, eating, taking care of the children and dying.

The days become monotone, which was good, as he got used to the regime and repetition of each day, starting to think this would go forever.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.”

Mounting the words Raijen’s eyes watered with a shaking lip, remembering those silly thoughts.

Two days ago the doors opened again, soldiers come in as every other day and women started to line up to leave. Their leader, the only one with the sword and no helmet pointed at Cisley as she was sitting with Raijen in her lap.

“You, you are coming too.”

Her hands froze on his belly, as she stared at the guard, seemingly not hearing what he said. Not understanding anything the men said Raijen tried to look at his mother, but the black eyes of the guard focused on him first. As the men took the first step closer to them his throat contracted, breath catching in his small lungs locking him in fear.

Shaking in his mothers embrace, his small head couldn’t comprehend the whole situation other then if he didn’t do anything, something bad would happen.

Turning around to look at his mothers face, tears rolled down his cheeks as the horror and look of realization come over her. She sat Raijen to the side as quickly as she could, almost toppling to the ground as she stood before the soldier was too close to grab her hand and pull her to the line.

There was no fight from Cisley, no words of protest or struggle to escape her fate.

Why, why don't you fight?!

Anger assaulted Raijen’s senses and overwrote his fear, letting all the boiling rage surge forward and escape his lungs as he started to scream at her in frustration, which resulted in baby cries echoing through the room.

Raijen’s eyes turned red with hot tears, not even noticing the men closing on him, as he was staring at Cisley, his mother, the women for who he felt such a love that he couldn’t explain and the frustration forced the tears down his face.

Cisley turned around, eyes wide, looking at the soldier coming closer to Raijen. Taking a step closer, fear gripped her and froze her legs on the spot as the guard's eyes shifted on her, gripping the spear shafts, the wood protesting to the usual abuse.

A cold chill shook his whole body at the look in her eyes.

She was afraid, it was hard to say if more for herself if she runs to him, or for him if she didn’t.

Pulling his knees closer at the memory, Raijen looked back at the door.

He noticed the guard ten feet from himself as he blocked his vision, staring at him. The realization came over him at that moment. The realization of what would have happened to her if she came to him if she was brave enough to fight for him.

What would have happened if she decided to ignore the guard's orders to follow them?

It struck him then, giving him understanding, that this wasn't first for her, nor for any of them. She had to deal with this on a daily basis before becoming pregnant with little baby Brian. And now, year after giving birth, her time come again, to go out and do what they told her to do.

Years of fear and beating orders into them made them obedient slaves who followed orders, they could choose between pain at the end of the day or death at this moment.

For some reason still clinging to this life they had, they went with the pain, something Raijen couldn’t understand. Hoping for the situation to change one day or hoping for someone to come and save them one day, or just accepting the fate that was delivered to them at the hands of those men.

So he did the only thing he could think of, closing his eyes, telling himself it is to clear the tears, but it was really only to avoid the void in her eyes.

Forcing smile to his lips as he raised his right hand at her, with what was warped smile full of lies.

The next moment he opened his eyes they were gone, behind the closed dark doors. It should have felt like any other day, it wasn't all that different, but for the fact, that he was alone now. The women he spent over a year with was gone, leaving a hole in his guts and pain he couldn’t recall feeling before.

Not being able to withstand the gazes of other women in the room, which felt now focused on him more then ever, as if everyone was watching him, everyone was whispering about him, judging him.

Raijen moved down from the bed and started crawling around the room. It soon lost its meaning as there was no one following him, no one paid attention to him, women had their own problems to solve, their own lives to live, their own children to rise and enjoy, before they were taken away as well.

Crawling to the door looking for a way to open it, something pushed at his mind, preventing him from touching the cold iron, as if everyone was looking at him. He sat in front of the hardened wood looking at the hinges, there was no knob or way to grab it from this side, only push.

It didn’t take long to realize there was no way to open it with his small body, Raijen’s mind started to wander into dark places, imagining what it would be like if they never opened again, or worse if they opened and his mother wasn't there.

When his belly squeezed from the idea, the shadows from torches shifted as the whole room went quiet. Instantly looking up, the door started to open, the time passed fast while he was contemplating, and women started returning.

With wild eyes shifting from one face to the next he finally saw the brown curly locks which only one woman had. Relief filled his limbs and strange lethargy hit him from staying up the whole night.

That only lasted until his eyes found the rest of her body, her dress was torn with blood on it. Her face was bruised as well as her hands, not the old ones, but new marks, that weren't there before. Lifting from the ground Raijen went to her in a straight line, tackling her leg, grabbing on her with all his might of the small body he was confined to.

The feel of her hand on his head, caressing his hair relaxed him, brought relief to his mind, before the look in her eyes met his.

They were there again, those empty, lifeless brown eyes which accepted her fate for what it was. Raijen was screaming in his head, not daring to make any sounds that might startle her, all this time spent trying to lure her out of that pit, and when she was finally on the edge, someone had to come and push her down again.

Staring hate at the leaving soldiers he watched them leave, oblivious to the suffering behind them, willingly ignoring it.

Cisley went straight into the bed, laying down and closing her eyes. Raijen watched as her shoulders shivered, almost as if she was cold. After what he witnessed over the last two years he knew people didn’t tremble like that from cold.

Slowly coming closer Raijen pulled himself on the bed. Sitting behind her head he put small hands on her small shoulders, which were weighted by such load, which this young woman was never supposed to bear.

She froze instantly on his touch, glancing over her shoulder with those wild fearful eyes, looking into his. Shifting his hands he touched her face, tracing the lines of her eyes, nose, going down her cheeks, ears and back again, as a bird with a broken wing she relaxed and stared back at the little boy.

It was at that moment when Raijen decided he will do whatever it took to lessen her pain. And it didn’t matter if she ever took notice.

Cisley turned around on her chest, her eyes never leaving him, she wrapped him in a tender hug, pushing her face into the small body in front of her. Pulling on her head Raijen wanted to make some sounds, but what left his mouth would usually leave him embarrassed to the point where he usually couldn't make any sounds.

As a baby coying sounds escaped his chest and lips Cisley chuckled at the sound of it, it was such a rare sound from him, her hand relaxed and she fell into a deep sleep.

Looking over his shoulder to where his half brother was, fearing he would start crying, waking her up from the slumber she relaxed into.

Another woman, Anna was her name, scooped Brian out of the crib and offered him her breast for food. Giving her a grateful nod, which probably looked nothing like intended, Raijen turned back.

Laying next to his mother, determined to protect her from bad dreams, as she did, even if unknowingly for him, since he first closed eyes in this room. Pulling her face into his chest he closed them again.