Have you ever heard someone say that they woke up with a jolt, feeling as if they were falling through the air? Some say it is your soul returning back to its body after a journey to dreamland or wherever it goes while you sleep, and right now I am falling a little too fast for my liking.

Things had been going smoothly just a couple of seconds ago. My soul had been hovering around the world like many others all the while I tried to appreciate this new world I will be calling mine in this lifetime and then suddenly it felt like I was being pulled by someone.

At first, I had panicked having forgotten I was just a soul but once I remembered that fact I had been handling it well. I mean, yes I have turned myself into a ball but that is just me preparing for whatever came next, not like I was afraid of heights, I mean I had been afraid when I was alive but I am just a soul now so it is all fine, right? Right!?

I could see the ground approaching or rather I was approaching the ground, faster than I would prefer. The land as far as I can see is covered in a blanket of snow and the clouds scattered in the sky. The Sun looked no different than the one I had I grown watching in my previous life and seems to have begun spreading its warmth not too long ago.

The ground below was filled with houses clustered together with no design to the layout, making it look as if this place was either a large village or a small town and I was approaching one such house that lay in the outer region of this place.

It had been near impossible to make out what had happened when I impacted with the roof of a house since I had been falling at tremendous speed and had almost no time to make sense of anything before I came to an abrupt stop.

I felt weak and tired. I tried to look around but it felt as if I had little to no control over my own movements. I tried to sense around using touch and other means and the first thing I realized about my surroundings is that it felt as if it was all wet and squishy and I was drowning.

I tried to move (wriggle) around hoping to somehow get my head above this liquid else I suffocate to death. Just when I thought this to be a sick joke by the divine and accepted what may come, turned out my efforts proved futile since I had acted on instinct I had honed in my time spent in the previous world.

Strangely I had no need to breathe nor was I hungry and it was then that I realized that I was experiencing something that all mortals experience but no one remembers. I was getting the first-hand experience of life in a womb and the laws in here say, ’the mother provides, the child sucks it all in’.

Time flew by as I usually spent it either sleeping or trying to move my body to test what a developing body of a child was capable of when it was stuck in this fragile state. I realized the body was surprisingly flexible but this place was growing too tight for my movements, as slow and feeble as they may be. Was it almost time for my birth?

Time and again my head ached as if it was not used to being worked, not even a little. Was it really not used to having even one sensible thought reside in it? Sometimes the aches would last too long for me to handle and by that I mean I would cry and move around hoping to somehow ease the pain, but mostly when it got severe I would always pass out.

I could at times feel when my supposed mother moved around, sometimes a little too much for my liking. Maybe that was her doing chores around the house or having a walk in the area.

Things took a turn for worse when I realized the noises I heard were the voices of other people on the outside and with those voices came a sudden sense of dread. I understood not a word of it. I could hear enough to guess that the noise had a structure to it like all spoken tongues have.

I had never been good with languages. I had out of curiosity had a manservant try to teach me the language of Awaakrak and found out early that I had no gift when it came to learning new languages. What if I could not learn the language as fast as other kids? I mean aren’t infants mindless crying crapping miniature versions of the adults? They come prepared to learn whatever is thrown at them since they knew nothing beforehand but that is not the case with me. I have a whole lifetime of memories filled in my aching head. Memories now I wish I didn't have, rather, have not gained them in the first place. Oh! I could sense another headache rising.

I had no way of keeping track of time as I slept, ate, shat and wriggled around all the time, mostly just ate and slept.

One day the liquid surrounding me started to lessen and I couldn’t help but be excited at the prospect of what came next. I was a fool.

Not too later I could hear loud noises coming from the outside. I had been preparing myself for this new adventure the whole time I had been in the womb. Remembering what my purpose would be in life and try to forge a new self but now that it was almost time to come out and possibly give this world a new great mind that would take it into a new era, since I should have the previous knowledge to help me along the way and I was hoping some of it might give me an edge over the others, I was giddy with excitement.

That excitement turned to panic so fast that I could feel my little heart skip quite a few beats. The walls that had protected me all this time had turned against me. They were tightening up on me and yet forcing me to move in a general direction and Oh boy did it hurt. All I could do was endure and that is what I did for what felt an eternity all the while screaming a voiceless scream ‘Push! Dammit! Push! Mother! You have no idea what I going through here because of you!”.

I could feel it as something wrapped around my legs and tried to pull me out with a jerk. I was coming out, leg first. Who gave this nurse or midwife her permit? At least I was out of the death trap. I could feel the outside air as it brushed against my skin as I was moved around. I tried to slowly open my eyes but each movement hurt and felt heavy.

Through my blurry vision, I finally saw a young man whose face was covered in snot and tears. The guy seemed huge, but then that might be because of my warped sense of size and distance at the moment. He had brown hair and white skin with an average built. I guess that face is what a man makes when he is thrown into the role of a father. Already crying about how his peaceful times were going to come to an end. Something I never got to experience in my past life. Maybe that’s for better.

The thought sat heavy on me and I couldn’t help but feel a cry build up in me. I kept trying to hold it back, out of habit of keeping a straight face when in the company of strangers. It was then that I was handed back to the eager woman who seemed to be looking at me a bit worried. She held me in her arms and then gently turned me around.

My instincts told me something bad was coming and I should run away without another thought but what could I do when I was stuck in a body of a mere child. The impact was hard and I felt pain rush through my behind to the core of my soul. I had not survived a death trap, no, I had wriggled and crawled through the gates of hell only to end up in the hands of the She-Devil herself.

She turned me around as I cried my heart and pain out. I looked up at her through my teary eyes, not an ounce of sympathy on her face, all I saw was the sadistic smile plastered on the devil’s face.

“Wwahhh wwwhaaa...” (Mercy! Mercy, oh great one! )

After toying with me some more it seemed she had had her fun and handed me over to the woman whom I had completely forgotten about till now because of all the new sensations and views that I was trying to process. There she lay tired on a bed covered in messed up sheets and blankets, her joy clearly visible even through her watery tired eyes and her cries as she held me tightly in her embrace.

I couldn’t help but think, ‘You could have found me a better nurse you know... I mean what could have I possibly done to deserve to get a meeting with the devil?’ Yes, I was being unreasonable and selfish but hey, who does that stuff to a child? I swear that one day I shall have my revenge.

I finally got to have a look at her face once she broke her hug. She was no Angel incarnate or what people would say a peerless beauty. She looked just average with her brown hair and a bit chubby figure.

But the threat of me growing up to be an ugly fellow mattered not but what mattered was that they were all human. I was human. Unless the child race is random. I try to feel my body for any extra limbs. Nope. No luck.

-x-x-x-

Life outside of womb had strangely turned out to be pretty similar to how it was inside of it. My days went by doing the same things I did every day. Eat, Sleep, Shit, Cry, Smile and Repeat.

It isn’t like I am complaining. I mean I am still just a child with no possible means to sustain myself and frankly, I was quite enjoying the attention and lack of responsibilities. I had come to terms with me being a human. Though it usually gives me a fright every time I wake up looking at one of them.

It’s like living in a haunted house. You turn around and boom! The stuff of nightmares, at your service.

I am lying in my, say crib, for lack of better words to describe my makeshift bed, while mother is sitting at the side cutting some vegetation which did not look similar to anything I had seen. Not like it mattered much to me because all I got was the occasion breast milk and some strange soup and let me tell you breastfeeding has been a continuous state of struggle. Even though I knew this was essential to my growth and survivability, I just couldn’t get myself to hold and suck on them and tried to keep away from them for as long as possible.

“O kya mere bête ko bhuk lagi hai” and there it is again. I had been trying to understand the language as hard as I can but except for some scenarios where they used just a single word to describe or communicate, it had been a futile endeavor.

“kya guo ga kuu” *Forgive this incompetent son but I didn't understand a word of what you said, mother.* no, I am not playing dumb. As much as I would like to start communicating with them, my vocal cords are still developing and so all that comes out is the sweet sounds of child talk.

She clearly finds the idea of me replying to her adorable and keeps smiling. It had been 2 months since I had been born and I haven’t been left alone by her even for a day. It is not like I got anything against it or need any privacy for that matter but this level of attention is clearly not normal.

I sleep in the same bed as my parents, I am always and I mean always within sight of either one of them and usually in my mother’s arms unless she got some work to do. It is useless to ponder on it for now so I shall add this to my things-to-investigate-when-bigger-and-louder list.

Father comes and goes whenever he is called. I have to yet to figure out what he does. All I know is he leaves every morning before I wake up and is back in an hour or so after I am awake. The house doesn’t seem lacking so I am quite sure he is not one for doing odd jobs and life is quite stable for them here.

As for the house, it seems to be made of wood just like all the others in the area. The snow has yet to be melted, yet these wood houses have been quite effective at keeping it warm inside. There is not even a fireplace to warm it from the inside and if you do want to sit by a fire, they do have a stove. I wonder how the heat is being managed.

From the tour I got of the place, the house is a two-story bungalow and opens up to the living room area. It is as guessed the largest space within the house and can easily have 20 people sit around here. It connects to the kitchen that is to the back, which is facing the outer region of this settlement. Then there is a single room adjacent to it. I believe father uses it as a storeroom for his job-related equipment. The staircase joining this floor to the basement and upper front start just beside this room.

The down steps lead to a large basement that houses stuff whose purpose had more often than not excluded my brain and on the top floor we had three bedrooms. One of these is apparently filled with stuff that looks like could be of some old woman, so I am hopeful that I do have a grandparent, just not here at the moment... or maybe those items are the last of their memories...

The other two bedrooms belong to me and my parents. Yes, I do have a room but apparently, it is being used as nothing but a ‘yes, it exists’ sort of excuse because I still use the same bedroom as that of my parents. I can tell it is mine because it holds an actual crib and my mother dresses me up in that room. From silky garments to armor made of steel to soft woolen clothes with strange creatures and flowers stitched on them and you still tell me this is not God’s way of making a joke out of my life? I mean who even makes armor for kids? What’s the purpose? How’s there a market for this? Why my parents had to be part of this madness?

A headache starts building up in me and I can't help but start sobbing as quietly as possible. Shouldn't disturb my elders. No never know how a human may react to any situation. This child body of mine has no control over itself. There had been times when I had woken up and realized that I was sharing my pants with something disgusting or the fact I start crying if my hunger starts to build up regardless of how much I try to hold back or the fact that I find myself asleep every now and then.

Still, I am quite sure a child is not supposed to be getting headaches this frequently at such an age. My mother like the hawk she is who never lets its prey out of its sight immediately dives at her weaken prey.

She takes me in her arms and checks for wet blankets which does nothing but put me closer to letting loose the rapidly building up cry. I mean come on, I don’t wet myself that frequently! Then she finally has the look on her face as if she has figured out what my problem could be.

She sits down with me held tight in her left arm while she starts to prepare to breastfeed me. “No no you have got it all wrong mother!” But what comes out of my mouth is cute sounding gibberish as tears start pouring out without restrain from my eyes as I stare at her breasts.

There is no chance to retaliate is she overpowers my feeble strength without any thought or care and sticks my face to her breasts and I finally let my hunger win and start to take in as much as I can so that I don’t have to ask for it anytime soon, all the while I sob silently and keep stealing glances at the stupid content smile plastered on her face. She must be feeling proud of her capabilities at handling a child.

Curse the divines, why does it taste so good?