There were many bits of paper nailed on the notice board. Requests to kill monsters by farmers, to rescue kidnapped family members and so on. Nothing special. I was looking for something easy and quick when a quest for three random adventurers caught my attention. All the notes were written in the same neat feminine handwriting, so I guessed the same person wrote them all. The task was to clear an orc lair that had been bothering the farmers around the town. The quest giver was Bartholomew, the mayor, not that I cared, but the reward of 14 platinum pieces for each adventurer was certainly enticing. There had to be some catch, but I figured as long as I was with two other adventurers, I would only have to outrun them if things got bad. With the equivalent of 70 gold pieces, I won't have to worry about my food rations running out for a while.

I was happy when I was done looking at the board, even more so when I noticed that that bitter elf was nowhere to be seen. All the other notices were for quests that were too hard or paid too little or both.

I moved to the counter, across the tavern lady, a blue-haired large breasted beauty. She smiled at me in a business-like manner that seemed to ask 'How may I help you?'

I asked her about the quest I took notice of.

"Ah, you must mean quest number 506. That quest has already got one adventurer assigned to it." as she said so she grabbed a pair of old thick round spectacles, you would expect on an old grey-bearded scholar, from in between her breasts and set them on her eyes whose pupils now looked too large. The spectacles were completely hidden by her mammaries, it looked like she pulled them out of thin air. I never liked mages and their dirty tricks but this magic, I could approve of. She pulled out an old tome from beneath the booze counter, opened it on a seemingly random page and began to run her finger down slowly.

"Ah," she exclaimed. Her round spectacles were teetering on the edge of the bridge of her small nose. "It was a certain Dwarven gentleman who applied for this quest first. You will need one more party member to take on this quest, but you can apply for now if you joined the guild."

Yeah, this was the part I did not like. Just how much were they going to make me pay to join...

Noticing my consternated expression she smiled reassuringly.

"Do not worry sir, if you want to join our guild it will only cost you twenty gold pieces, and you will have access to all our adventurers' guilds, across the realm," I could not discern her intent through her inscrutable smile, but I already knew what it was so I held back a sigh. I hope I resisted the urge to smile back at her but it was strong.

I needed work so I just paid her twenty-five gold, and got a tin plate for it, as a beginner adventurer. By overhearing some overeager patrons talking over our conversation, I also learned that the tavern lady's name was Helen. Just as I was about to put my lighter feeling pouch back onto my belt, I was caught off guard by the wide-eyed gaze of Schrodinger's elf. That hostile elf girl was back. I frowned at her but there was no malice in her eyes, and so I soon realised she wasn't looking at me at all, but towards my hand, and towards the gold piece pouch in my hand.

I panned over my pouch sideways and up and down and her eyes followed it. I chuckled once, and then catching herself she finally looked at me coldly at which I stopped chuckling.

Before the situation could degrade further, and let's be honest I wasn't in the best of shape, I felt something soft and warm on my shoulder. I looked at it. It was a hand and I followed it over the counter to Helen who was still wearing those funny old round glasses which made her eyes look large. Oh, and she had her smile on as usual. Was she smiling even as I killed that blue-haired woman? No, I would have noticed if she had, after all the forces of gravity had drawn my eyes towards her bosom from the very start.

"This is Lyndis, the elf priestess," said Helen pointing with her open hand over my shoulder at this annoying, annoyed elf. "She is a newcomer as you are but she lacked the funds to join the guild." Explained Helen.

Lyndis smiled at Helen but then frowned when our eyes met. "Unfortunately she doesn't speak Common so she is need of some help." Continued Helen.

"So?" I asked.

"If you pay for her fees, you will get a fifteen gp discount on your guild membership, and you will get half of her rewards for this quest as compensation, provided that you succeed of course."

"Deal," I replied. I had no intention of failing this quest. Plus I could do with some priestess' healing right now.

After Helen explained to Lyndis what was going on, to my surprise Lyndis bowed deeply to thank me for my help in getting into the guild. Helen then handed Lyndis a tin plate. They smiled at each other agreeably, and for some reason, this annoyed me.

The helpful Helen, her smile intact and her thick round glasses gone, also gave us two pieces of paper, where she had just written the location and time for the quest. The location was north-west where I had camped, and gotten assaulted last night. I guess it was time to say hello to some orcs, and some dwarf too.