《I Have to Text my Ex, or the World Explodes》13. The whole world caught COVID-19 and died
Advertisement
Twenty years later. . . nah fuck that, who even does timeskips anymore? That's so 2012 Wattpad. Anyway the author is back from a very short hiatus of only two months, so let's pretend you saved a game and forgot about it or something.
***
Three days later. . . (just kidding suckers, I timeskip like the Wattpad pro I am)
Andrew stood atop of the skyscraper looking over at the entire city of Dinosaurland. He had chosen to abandon Pink Anne; a risky endeavor that may very well result in the world turning into dust once again. But this time, it was different! Not only did he have his trusted Anti-Matter Gun, he also had a tight-ass spandex bodysuit and a BLOODY CAPE (literally written on the back of the cape). Everybody knew a superhero suit is the key difference between a superhero and a no-name commoner was the suit and a BLOODY CAPE (literally. . . [see above]), and Andrew could feel his power multiplying by the thousands just by putting them on. As soon as he mastered the art of wearing his boxer outside his pants, he shall become the invincible hero this world needs.
But of course, Pink Anne was not one to give up. The obvious solution was to hurl more outer space meteor towards Earth, and she did just that. Therefore, meteorites fell more and more, each time with a thicker density than the last. Every time such a disaster striked, townspeople shone a boxer-shaped light on the moon to warn the Antimatter. . . er. Then the hero shall descent from the shadow, shooting at the meteorites until they drop like flies. Then they would hail Antimatter. . . er as the ultimate savior once again. His name would be all over news channels, and children would start pasting his posters on the walls and dreams of wearing boxers outside their pants. The cycle would continue.
Advertisement
"So this is the path the Goddess has carved out for me," Andrew told himself. He was still the Chosen One.
Therefore, he needed to solve this meteorite bullshit once and for all! Andrew had too obvious solution: the first one was to hit the lottery 5138 times and fund the construction of the Skynet and the Anti-Meteor Satellite-Spaceship network, and the second one was to kill Pink Anne. After viligantly calculating the odds, Andrew decided to win the lottery 5138 times.
Under the codename Eron Mask, he founded SpaceXXX and started realizing his dream. Before long, his fleet of spaceships was assembled.
Andrew's space shuttles were equipped with giant antimatter guns that could swallow dozens of meteors with a single bullet. Gradually, he upgraded it to a space station the size of very big space station. Every day, hundreds of asteroids flew towards Earth, but none could even come close to testing his system's firepower.
Floating inside his space station, Andrew laughed so hard he started coughing. "Now nothing, nothing can destroy human civilization anymore!"
A day later, a great tsunami arose below the ocean, engulfing all of humanity.
"WHAT THE FUCK? SHE CAN DO THAT?" Andrew clasped his head in bewilderment.
A second later, he found himself in his shabby studio at the beginning of a loop again, so he knew damn well who caused the catastrophe. Only then did the Goddess show herself. She sat at the corner of the room with a gloomy look on her face.
"I've told you that there's only one way to save the world. Why do you keep defy me?" The Goddess sighed.
"Yeah and what is it?"
"You just have to live with Anne for the rest of your life."
"Fuck that! I'm building a wall surrounding all oceans!"
Advertisement
"You can't do that!"
"And how are you gonna stop me?" Andrew grunted. "You're disappearing in five minutes."
"I. . . I can't," she stutters and rubs her hands together. "But nothing you do will matter. Just listen to me, okay? I'll make an arrangement that's best for you."
"502890," Andrew says.
"W-what?"
"Oh look!" He points at the row of number flashing from the TV that's suddenly in his room because the author is too lazy to go back ten chapters to fix a minor continuity detail. "The lottery combination number! What a coincidence! Imma go cash out."
"Sure!" The Goddess spat. "Do what you want. You're gonna come back here eventually."
"We'll see about that."
Andrew hit the lottery a million times then built ten-kilometer high walls along the coast of every continents. He called them the Highmalayas.
Then earthquakes erupted all over the world, the walls collapsed and crushed the fuck out of Andrew.
In the next loop, Andrew invented the 'virtual gravity' technology, elevating every city until they float above the atmosphere where the tsunamis wouldn't reach. His space stations guarded the sky and his cities evaded the earth. There was nothing nobody could ever do to sabotage.
Suddenly, the whole world caught COVID-19 and died.
"No, no, no!" Andrew screamed while on his deathbed for the sixty-ninth time. "Why? Why? Why? Why can't I get away from this nightmare?"
He was pushed to a dead end. There was one thing left to do.
Kill Anne.
Advertisement
- In Serial1201 Chapters
TranXending Vision
Xia Lei, whose parents were no longer around, had to work hard to support himself and his sister. One day, he got into an accident at work which burnt his left eye. After he awoke in the hospital bed, he discovered that his eye was not blind – it gained abilities! Now, he is using these abilities to right wrongs and make a better life for himself and others. Will Xia Lei triumph over the corrupt and privileged with his newfound power?I am destined to be the protagonist of this era!Warning: Mature content
8 648 - In Serial174 Chapters
Singer Sailor Merchant Mage
Car . . . Ice . . . Corner . . . Do not mix. But never mind! Here I am - alive somehow and somewhere different? There's an orange glow and I can't control my body much . . . Wow I'm tired . . . it's time to sleep again . . . Join our lead getting used to their new world from the womb and their new life with stats, levels and magic. What would you do if you were given a second chance at life? Very slow burn, Slice of life, Levels, Skills and Stats Warning I : Will be in the womb till Chapter 14 but small 1000 word chapters so only around 15,000 words before birth. Warning II : Slow pace and world building learning from a child's perspective about the world, they are not told about everything instantly. They grow they learn at their own pace. Larger Synopsis for the larger world. Follow our lead as they explore the world of the Compass Kingdoms, who battle and war on the main continent. The story will be about levelling up their friends and families lives as much as themselves. The challenges they will all face in trying to build a better future against the powers that would like things to stay the same or take advantages of the changes.
5 237 - In Serial49 Chapters
Meat Eaters
A boy, alone in the mountains. Covered in snow. Defenseless. Hunted by monsters. On the verge of death, he discovers a black dragon egg. Soon, the hunter will become the hunted. Rewritten chapters so far: Prologue Image credit on watermark.
8 162 - In Serial21 Chapters
~ Socksfor1 X Blaza ~ {Discontinued}
~Description~ Story how bodyguard Socksfor1 and Prince Blaza fall in love. This is an AU nothing is real.Ps.I don't own any of the characters.~Cover done by Minecraft lettuce~
8 230 - In Serial67 Chapters
A Technomaniac in Another World (Prototype)
Meet Kenji Ueda, 15 years old, an orphan in Japan. Liking technology to a certain degree, he's very carefree to anything that is not eye-catching(to him that is). Like any other teenager, he was in school, and of course, as much to his surprise, he was transported to a world of Swords & Magic, where he is useless! Kinda. And to make it worse, his unique skill is Technomagic! Shall we see what Kenji might do to this Fantasy world? Come make part of the Discord Server! We don't have much things more than some spoilers, but we're working on it! https://discord.gg/HJ3wSzw6 Also, talk to me anytime, I may not answer very soon, but is either 'cause I'm playing some game or just watching a video. This Novel is posted here, on RoyalRoad and on ScribbleHub.
8 110 - In Serial338 Chapters
•CreepyPasta X Reader Parody•
This is just complete randomness with you and the creepypastas, in the Fannon universe where Slenderdic is an old peepaw and isn't sum manipulative fuck. If you like craziness and Creepypasta, then this book is for you.________________________________________⚠️TW foul language, (blame Jeff and Toby), gore and adult references⚠️Enjoy :).....I wrote this two summers ago and decided to post it, now I regret uploading this but since people like it, I'm keeping the book up :0START OF BOOK: 12 / 23 / 21ONGOING....
8 75

