PHASE 60 - I’M SORRY, I LIVED

When I woke up, I was in a middle of a well-lit wooden hall. I believe this is a chamber of the Kozukata Shrine, and I’m sitting on a magical circle. There are lots of talismans stuck on my body that made me look like a bulletin board with a lot of sticky notes. There are a total of ten shrine maidens surrounding me, praying infinitely in their Japanese chants. Among them is Tiara.

The exorcism gave me a lot of pain in my head, and it made my vision a lot more woozy. I’m seriously sick. I feel so weak that I want to sleep, or maybe die already. I wanted to puke.

Finally, the magical circle’s light faded. But before I’m allowed to move, the shrine maiden head Asumi forced my eye to open with her fingers, as she lights my vision with a blinding flashlight like an optical doctor.

“As I thought,” Asumi muttered as she removed the flashlight away from my face. “There is still the residue of the curse on your eyes. It may come back if left untreated regularly.”

“So he’s still cursed?” Amy asked with her arms crossed.

“Unfortunately, yes. It’s hard to exorcise a tainted heart with an unusual God Core attached. I have no idea how to remove it. I haven’t encountered any Fake God Core in my whole life, especially coming from a Lovecraft Mythos. But don’t worry, he won’t go haywire unless he use the Fake God Core or get triggered by his hatred.”

“Is there a way to prevent him from transforming into a Cursed Guardian again?” Amy asked.

“The only viable option, for now, is to seal his Guardian Ability and his God Core. Those horrible and transforming to Lord Cthulhu always trigger his hatred, so we need to put those away for a while.”

Amy let out a heavy sigh and certainly looks worried. The blonde kitten pushed her face closer to mine.

“Hey, Ric. Do you feel better now? You’re awfully quiet and expressionless. Is there still bothering your mind?”

“Actually… There is…” I scratched my head. “W-What happened to the entrapment operation? I can barely remember anything.”

“Huuuuuh?” Amy curled her eyebrows and tilted her face.

“Actually…”

Asumi slowly raised her hand to get Amy’s attention. “Amnesia is a side effect of an exorcism. We removed some of his memories and thoughts that are already corrupted by a deadly sin. We don’t have control over the memories being deleted. It’s like an antivirus deleting virus-infected files from your hard drive. That is why we wouldn’t want to exorcise Drex Brynheim yet because he might forget vital pieces of information about the New Order.”

Amy’s face became red, and there are cross-veins all over her forehead. She stared at me, while I look at her back with the face of a clueless dog. Seriously, I have no idea what’s happening!

“Ric you dumb idiot foolish stupid moron!”

Amy cried as she smashed my head with her soft fists alternately. One or two hit may sting, but she’s seriously trying to kill my brain! And to make it worse, she combined it with her fast sermons!

“After I tried mustering all the courage I got! After I swallowed my pride! After I got wrapped by your disgusting tentacles! After confessing all the feelings I had for you! After giving you my first kiss! YOU JUST FORGET ALL THOSE PRECIOUS MEMORIES JUST BY PASSING OUT!!! You’re the worst disgusting nerd I know!!!”

“Ow! Stop it!” I cried. I never understood her words because her smashes are way noisier than her mouth!

Amy finally stopped hitting me and made a “Hmph!” sound as she crossed her arms again and looked away. I turned to Asumi, wordlessly asking what happened during the battle against Diadem but she just smiled. I turned to Tiara, to my putrid friend who’s name I couldn’t remember, and to Key, but they just shook their head.

My mind… is like a paragraph that has a lot of blanks in it. I can barely remember anything and there are some details that are missing. Wait, where am I again? Why is my childhood friend angry?

...And who the hell is Ric?

<>

If I remember something, it’s this scene.

Flames dancing in the middle of a peaceful night.

I was inside a burning shrine, and hundreds of painful cries echoed all over the place. The burning ceiling started to fall off, but for some reason, I didn’t get hit.

I have this painful sensation in my heart as if I was searching for something… or someone… I ran deeper to the hellish shrine and noticed that there are a lot of dead bodies. Shrine maidens. But I don’t recognize the faces. The maze-like corridors are unfamiliar to me, so I can say for sure that this is not the Kozukata Shrine.

“...Rikkun…” A faint voice gave a chill on my spine.

“Tiara!” I shouted.

I saw her laying flat on the ground, unable to move because of the gigantic burning debris that crushed the lower part of her body. Her white dress is now soaked with burning blood, and I can smell her flesh getting roasted.

“...Rikkun…” Tiara’s blue eyes twinkled as tears crawled out.

It was weird. As far as I know, Tiara has golden brown eyes. But for some reason, I can’t doubt her appearance. Casting my own logic away, I can say for certain that she is Tiara.

I went to her side and tried to lift the gigantic burning debris, but it was heavy! I only ended up grilling my own hands. There is no way I can remove it from her!

“Damn!” I cried.

“I-It’s okay… Rikkun… Just having you here… is enough for me… You should escape...”

I sat beside Tiara and held her soft hand tight.

“I’ll never leave you.”

“...But Rikkun…”

“I will never leave you behind. That’s our promise, right? Because you’re my most precious friend…”

“...Rikkun…” Tiara’s face brightened with hope.

Suddenly, reality polymerized, as if I was in another world.

<>

When I opened my eyes, I was inside a dungeon. The torches lit up for me to perceive everything clearer. There is blood everywhere in this place. Even ruptured limbs, such as hands, ears, and even an unborn fetus.

But what’s more horrifying is that I’m just a head with a severed neck. Cold claws wrapped my cheeks and I felt soft bosoms on my forehead. I realized that it was silver-haired Tiara, who is hugging me dearly.

“...I’m sorry Rikkun… Please don’t hate me… Please forgive my sins, Rikkun…”

Warm droplets of tears dripped on my hair.

And the world shattered like glass. Everything became black.

I don’t know why, but those scenes feel real to me. It’s way too detailed that I can conclude that it’s never a dream of mine. I’m almost certain that it is a , but something is off. usually gives me tingling sensation or endless fear, but those scenes made me sad and regretful as if it has already happened.

But that’s not in the past. I really can’t put it into words.

<>

After my exorcism, we decided to go home (Efilion Residence in Dradecim City) and spent a peaceful night. It was a pain in the ass to ride a train before midnight, and it’s already one AM when we finally get home.

We can finally relax without thinking about any death flags. One that’s left is me being an immortal face, which, I think, is not so horrible than the deaths. And since Amy was saved, I feel that I have a chance too.

Amy’s time has been extended thanks to something I did... that I couldn’t remember at all. Anyway, Asumi said that my memories would return in just a matter of days. I’ll be able to uncover why the heck is that bitch Amy so moody at me.

When we entered the house, I slammed my face on the nearest sofa due to exhaustion. Just before I could sleep there, noises from girls’ mouth entered my eardrums. It was Amy and Tiara, who are in front of the entrance of the house. The quiet night made it possible for me to hear their private talk.

“Tiara… I’m sorry. I lived.” Amy smirked.

“W-Why are you apologizing? I-I’m glad that you’re safe, Necchan!” Tiara had her worried look.

“Things won’t be good on your side. I’m declaring war against you, Tiara Hikari,” Amy said with a serious threatening tone.

“E-Eeeeeh!!?” Tiara was astounded. “T-That’s so sudden, Necchan! W-What are you talking about?”

“You know what I meant. You have the same feeling I have. So I want you to step your game up. I want to fight you face to face. Girl to girl... We are friends, but enemies in one aspect. I will regain something that I have lost, so I hope you make your move too.”

Tiara’s eyes are still round and wide. When she finally realized what that tiny kitty Amy was talking about, the shrine maiden nodded.

“I-I’ll probably lose, but I won’t give up, Necchan.” Tiara lent out her hand.

“May the best girl win!” Amy took Tiara’s hand, showing her sportsmanship.

Then they did the most awkward pre-game ritual in the history of weirdos.

Both of them sang the Rivalry Handshake Song.

Don’t ask me what it’s all about. I’m too stressed to think. I’m going to sleep.