Chapter 4

“No Dr Phil I don't think my llama addiction is ruining my family. I think they should just accept who I really am. In the first place, how is it my fault that they can't appreciate true beauty and chose to live in a world where llamas are not welcomed house pets? I think I had enough with this show, Oprah has already invited me for discussing llama based cleaning soluti...”

Huh… my energy is declining. It was 97/100 a minute ago and now it's down to 92/100. Am I dying again? Do I even care?

89/100

88/100

…

70/100

Fuck, I still care. What to do? What can I do? Kevin, any Suggestions?

Okay, okay calm yer tits. I think I got this. I can just craft more mitochondria. Wait no, that will spend what little energy I have left. How much will it offset the drain tho? Would crafting 2 more be enough? I don't have materials for more. Eh, as my neighbour used to say – “Fuck it, go big or go home.”

40/140

Come on little fellow, you can do it!

39/140

Whelp, I guess I'm dead.

38/140

It’s quite a bit slower tho. I think I can collect enough elements for another mitochondrion soon.

25/140

Bought another one

10/160

Yes?

9/160

No!

-A few hours and couple hundred thousand swear words later.-

It has stopped at 3/160 for some time now.

=======

System announcement:

-A foreign element has been absorbed:

New materials available New crafting recipes available Player has been granted a new title - “Antibiotic” As you are part of our special system alpha tester collective, you have been granted special prize for your first true kill - a mansion in Malibu

=======

$&@&$?!, how am I supposed to get to Malibu?!

“Open crafting”

=======

-Currently available mods:

Mitochondrion Miniature movement spirals Basic mutation chamber

=======

As always, no description of what things do. At least I understand the movement spirals. Those sound like flagella’s. This is getting too complicated already, I should just stick with movement spirals, else I forget the names and need to consult my non-existent dictionary. Besides, Kevin is only pretending to be smart. He's actually “Flat Earther”. I can't trust a guy like that with my bio-term handling.

Still, quite a way to go until I can afford the mutation chamber.

“Why not craft movement spirals,” - you ask?

Da fuk does a blind, deaf, unfeeling cell need a movement spirals? How will I even know if I’m moving? Besides, I'm saving up for some cool mutation action. At this point, all mutations would be positive.

Okay, now I should patiently save up for muta… aaand I bought 6 movement spirals. I’m not spending another second waiting and not being able to do nothing else!

“Activate cosmic thrusters, we're going in deep!”

Is directionless charge bad idea? Yes!

Will I still do it? Also, Yes!

Did I just completely contradict my own decision? Mind your own business!

Alright, from what I can tell moving takes energy, so it should mean that there is finally somewhere I can drain my energy into (well except more mitochondria). It’s a really slow drain, but thankfully I now know I'm moving. As for the direction? Well, I tried imagining adding spirals around my cell - 1 top, 1 bottom and 1 for each side. Let's, just hope that adding mods work as I'm intending.

Huh… I wonder what's in the bottom of this pond.

Wait a minute, I just had an amazing idea. Okay, hear me out. Remember how there are mineral particles in the water supporting me? What if we reach the bottom and directly start absorbing some from there? We can increase this production by 9000% percent! Though, I'm sure Kevin pulled those numbers out of his ass.

Now the only thing left is to wait for results… wait… ugh… fuck...