C14 Trash Stall

“Oh, Sir, you’ve finished,” Frank said, sticking his head around the corner.

“What do you think?” Eddie asked.

“Very detailed and proficient. Even the armour is twice as good as mine.”

“I’ll patch you up twice as good when I have the proper resources, Frank, that’s a promise.”

“Thank you dearly, Sir. What is its name?”

Eddie cleared his throat. “Robo-wait-for-it… Dog.”

“Robo Dog, Sir. Interesting. Not the most creative but you’ve certainly used your ingenuity to weave around the copyright laws.”

“Thanks, and it will be called Robo for short.”

“Excellent, Sir.”

“What were we doing?” Eddie asked.

“We were going to sell items, I have already prepared some materials for you to craft a stall, Sir.”

“Great, nice job, Frank… What were we selling again?” Eddie asked.

“Maps, Sir, though we could sell other things too?”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Nose blockers- to reduce the impact of the smell. I noticed when that team came in they were constantly wrinkling their noses. It would help to gradually get used to the smell down here, I wouldn’t know what it’s like of course, Sir.”

“Hmmm,” Eddie thought, “Good idea, what else would people need?”

“I’d suggest weapons and armour, Sir, but I’m guessing most people down here would already have them.”

“Yeah, could be a plan in the future. Oh, I got it, urm- potions, you know those things that replenish your health, I saw them on the trading hub.”

“Good idea, Sir. So, we have maps, nose blockers and potions… Do you have any potions, Sir?”

Eddie cleared his throat. “Nope, but I can research it online,” he said, then bringing up google in front of him.

Researching on how to make potions will limit your chances of gaining the Alchemy skill and levelling it.

Eddie groaned as he showed the notification to Frank. “We’ll have to leave it for now.”

“That’s a shame, Sir. Do you need my help with crafting it?”

“The stall? Yeah, I’ll need a hand.”

An hour later, Eddie and Frank had built a small metal stall along with four wheels at the bottom. There was a little window and there was storage underneath. Eddie expected to get a level up with his skill but unfortunately didn’t. He and Frank also had cut up small rubber balls one could shove up their nose to block the smell, along with dozens of maps Eddie had copied.

“Do you think Mira and her team would be angry at me selling the map they helped me make?” Eddie asked.

“I’m not quite sure, Sir. Why don’t you ask her?”

“Oh, I can do that. Buttt-” Eddie found it awkward texting someone, he never knew what to say. He would usually end it with ‘lol’ and the weird ‘smirk’ emoji. “I’ll ask her next time in person. We did a good job on this anyway,” Eddie said, slapping Frank’s metal back.

“Indeed we did, Sir.”

“Oh, fiddlesticks,” Eddie said. “I’ll need to make a door too.”

“To block off the entrance, Sir?” Frank questioned as he moved the stall out of the way.

“Yeah,” Eddie muttered. He had wanted to block off the cave to prevent just anyone from walking in, otherwise hundreds of people would come in here. Though, he had yet to see anyone else apart from Mira’s party.

Thirty minutes later, the duo strolled out of his trash cave and towards the exit. Eddie had already made the door and brought with him various tools to fit it into place. Frank wheeled out the metal stall just a few metres in front and started pulling all the items for sale out.

Eddie started installing it as they patiently waited for customers. Every minute or so, Eddie would pop his head above the stall and ask Frank if anyone was coming. Unfortunately, there was nothing but the empty vasts of the trash dump to gawk at. He drilled in the last screw and stood idly next to Frank. He looked down at his bare chest. “Oh, shirt, right.”

“Just you wait,” Eddie said, now un-shirtless and next to Frank, “There will be a line as far as your sensor crystals can see.”

A minute passed and there was still no one in sight.

“Must be a sunday,” Eddie stated, hands on hips.

“Must be, Sir.”

Eddie checked the calendar. “No, it’s a saturday.”

Frank didn’t respond.

Eddie started whistling to pass the awkward time.

Eventually, Eddie’s mind started to wonder why no one was coming down. It wasn’t because he smelled bad-

“Frank, do I smell bad?”

“You have that perk, Sir, don’t you. The worse you smell the higher it boosts your charisma. You additionally smell like a boy's changing room.”

“Right, right, I did hear that Russian guy mention it.”

“Is there no way for you to check if people are coming?” Frank asked.

“Urm, I could google it, if the system doesn’t tell me off,” Eddie said, bringing up the system. He searched ‘Arindought’s Event’ and thousands of articles came up, some being posted only a minute ago. “Holy ship!” Eddie exclaimed. “There’s so many sites talking about it. It’s even on the news.”

“CNN or FOX?” Frank questioned.

“Why does that matter?” Eddie asked.

“No reason.”

“Well, they all say that no one can find a way in. The government of Arindought are actively trying to stop people from entering, saying that it’s way too dangerous- pfft, dangerous? I mean look, are there any monsters around here?”

“I can see four, Sir,” Frank remarked.

“Yeah, but they’re level 7 trash pandas. We could even kill them and I’m level 3.”

“How did you get in, Sir?” Frank asked.

“I was thrown down a well by some thieves,” Eddie reluctantly explained, gritting his teeth. If he ever saw them again he would do absolutely nothing because Eddie was not a fan of violence.

“A well? Strange, Sir... I have an idea.”

“Go on?”

“Well-”

A moment of silence passed.

“Was that a joke?” Eddie questioned.

“Yes, Sir,” Frank replied in defeat. “Was it good?”

“Eh, it was alright for your first one. Do you have an idea though?”

“Actually yes, Sir. Why don’t you tell people to throw themselves down wells?”

“I don’t want people to actually come down here and get stuck-”

“Sir,” Frank cut him off, “One needs to be selfish sometimes in order to be successful. Elon Musk wasn’t a charitable man until he made billions.”

Eddie didn’t respond, his conscience was at war. Though, Evil Eddie had already won in a few seconds. “Yeah, Frank, you’re right. Screw everyone, they can all go fudge themselves.”

“Wonderful, Sir. All you’ll have to do is start a rumour and soon people will be killing themselves left right and centre. It will be like falling from heaven, surrounded by suffering and death.”

Eddie looked at Frank with horror in his eyes. “You ok, Frank?”

Frank suddenly took himself out of his little daydream. “My apologies, Sir.”

“I think I’ll do that. NOT to cause suffering and despair but for a business venture.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Sir,” Frank lied. Eddie couldn’t tell whether Frank was lying.

Regardless of Frank’s genocidal incentive, Eddie made an account and started typing something. He read it out as he did so.

“My friend, no, no. I heard, much better. I heard that you can get into the trash dump by going down old wells. It seems like bullcrap but that’s just what I heard.”

“Nice, Sir, start a rumour and it will spread.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “Thanks. And… Post. Now we just wait.”

The two sat there patiently and waited for people to come. Roughly thirty minutes had gone by and still no one was there.

“Ugh, let me check the post… Holy fudge!” Eddie exclaimed. “It’s got seven thousand upvotes!!!”

“What do the comments say, Sir?”

“One guy says that it sounds suicidal, another says that he’s going to try it.”

“Wonderful, not of the suicide part though.”

“Yeah, self forever sleeping doesn’t really encourage people but if one guy tries it then-”

Eddie was interrupted by a scream. The two looked up in unison and watched as a level 21 player was falling from above.

“Ha!” Eddie exclaimed. “I knew it would work.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the person screamed while Eddie and Frank were celebrating.

The player's body landed with an initial thump and then a loud splatter. The two were showered with the players' insides. Eddie then realised he didn’t like gore and turned around while holding his throat.

“Should I harve-”

“No, no, no, no, no, no, just move it,” Eddie said, facing away.

“Right away, Sir… But, Sir, human is meat is very tender an-”

“Frank, just get rid of it.”

Once Frank had put all the sludge out of view, it started to burn away in cubes of white light and Eddie felt much better. His face was still stained with blood that Frank kindly wiped away.

“Do you think it reset their spawn point?” Eddie asked.

“Perhaps. Where was yours, Sir?”

“Up the hill above the basin. I doubt anyone would find it since the well I fell down was inside a tavern.”

“Oh. Sir, perhaps there may be some distance spawn point mechanisms. If they are in a dungeon it may initially set their spawn point to where or near where they landed.”

“Maybe, Frank. I thi-”

Eddie was interrupted by another scream.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Then another one came, but it was far off in the distance.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

And there it came, the great suicide of the trash dump.

“Frank! This is wonderful!” Eddie exclaimed.

The two happily danced around together as people fell from the sky. The thud and splatter of bodies created their beat. What the two didn’t know about, was that the Game Moderator, S0CKS, was curling over from laughter. He had been invisible since they stepped out of Eddie’s land. He didn’t reveal himself as he knew he was about to get busy- very busy.

The great suicide had covered the Trashlands in a layer of bodily fluids, mostly not blood but of the other type. The two thought it was magical, of course, it wasn’t.

Eddie checked the post again to see it was thrusted to the very top of the forum board. Thousands of comments were spamming his post to say it was real. He was thankful that he used a randomly generated name.

As more and more bodies fell from heaven down to hell, people began to be seen walking towards Eddie’s stall.

“I’m nervous, Frank,” Eddie said, his knees were like jelly.

“Why, Sir? We are but humble merchants stuck down here like the rest of them. There is no shame in trying to make money out of it.”

“Oh, fiddlesticks!” Eddie exclaimed. “We forgot to make the pricing.”

“That is a problem, Sir. Why don’t you look it up on the trading post.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that now.”

Eddie frantically started to search for maps on the trading post. Since there were thousands of matches for maps of different areas and of different quality, it was very hard to find a set price. Of course, no one had maps of the dungeon apart from him and Mira’s team.

“Uhh, some of them are going for 30 silver, others are like 10 copper.”

“Hmm,” Frank said in thought. “Well, Sir, your map is completely new is it not? No one else has it. Price it high first and see how people react.”

“But what’s high? There’s no way I can charge people 10 dollars for a single map.”

“Most of these players will be high level, 10 silver is merely pocket change.”

“You’re right,” Eddie grudged. “Oh! Oh! There’s someone coming, act natural.”

“Sir-”

“Hey!” the player shouted over as they ran towards him.

Eddie was slouched over the stall facing away, he had put on a ‘cool guy’ face and was staring at the door.

The player took a breath before reaching the stall. “What are you selling?”

“Me?” Eddie questioned, slowly turning around with a smoldering look plastered on his face.

“Yeah, you. Where are the best areas to farm, and where are all the monsters? Did you make that golem?”

“Oh, him,” Eddie said, nodding up to Frank while clenching his jaw. “Yeah, we’re selling maps of the dungeon.”

“How much?”

“How much are you willing to pay?”

“A gold,” the player said, slamming the glistening coin down on the table.

Eddie started coughing profusely. He couldn’t stop. That was $1000 in real life money.

“Good day there, Sir,” Frank said, taking Eddie’s place. “Since we want to start a good relationship with you, let's say 70 silver, how does that sound?”

“Brilliant, thanks, here.” The player put down 70 silver and Frank handed him a map of the dungeon.

“We are also selling nose blockers to help with the smell,” Frank explained.

“Yeah, yeah, how much?” the player asked as he pinched the bridge of his.

“Five silver,” Frank said quickly.

The player placed another five silver on the table as he used the map to update his. “Damn, this place is huge. What’s at the top of the map?”

“I’m sorry, Sir, we haven’t managed to reach that far. The monsters there are extremely unkillable and high levelled.”

“Ah, no worries, thanks for selling me what you could get,” the player said. He turned tail and started running around Eddie’s land into the main dungeon.

“Sir, are you ok?” Frank asked.

Eddie’s health bar was at 50%. He had almost died when the coughing fit became too much for him to handle. “Give me a minute.” Eddie’s grubby fingers gripped onto the stall and Frank helped him the rest of the way up. “Sorry. Did he really offer us an entire gold for an incomplete map?”

“Yes, Sir, here’s the 75 silver.”

Frank’s hand opened out and dropped them into Eddie’s. He was astounded he just earned $750 like that- in an instant. There was no bargaining, nothing. Just a straight dump of the player's coin.

“I believe the price will eventually go down to roughly 15 silver by the end of the day, Sir.”

“Really? Still, 15 silver is like $150 bucks.”

“Precisely, I couldn’t believe it myself in all honesty, Sir.”

“You were really good at keeping composed,” Eddie stated. “Do you want to be the main seller instead of me?”

“Yes, Sir. I do believe we will need far more maps than we originally planned.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it,” Eddie said, whipping out a pen and stacks of stained paper.

More and more people started coming in droves. Some were in full teams, others were solo or duo. There was one thing in common they all needed- a map of the dungeon; nose blockers too. Within thirty minutes, there was a line that disappeared into the fog. There were people standing around finding their teammates and others ogling at Frank.

Though, the players soon realised that they couldn’t get out and some were getting rowdy and agitated; rightly so. And like mindless drones of anti-capitalism, they directed attention to the only established thing in the trash dump- if you could even call it established that is.

“How can we get out?” a man shouted towards Eddie.

“I don’t know!” Eddie shouted back.

“Why don’t you if you’re selling maps?”

“Because! I’m stuck down here too! I haven’t washed in days!!!”

An angry crowd had begun aiming their anger at Eddie. He usually was not good with this sort of stuff but he felt more at ease doing it in a game rather than real life. People began to throw stuff towards him. Thankfully, no one was directly attacking him or Frank. Frank and Eddie eventually ditched the stall and went to run back inside but it was blocked by Mira and her team.

“Eddie, what the hell is going on?” she questioned.

“They’re all angry at me,” Eddie said, opening the door to get inside his trash cave.

Mira slammed it shut as he summoned a purple shield that blocked the items thrown at them. “I thought this would happen,” she said. “Denzel, can you shut them up!”

“Yes, ma’am,” Denzel joked as he jumped onto the stall. The giant man flexed his muscles and as he shouted: “EVERYONE SHUT THE FUDGE UP!”

Denzel was a scary man and it seemed to do the trick. He helped up Mira and she disabled the shield around all of them.

“Listen! We are all stuck down here! It’s not this guy's fault, it’s the developers so stop attacking him.”

“How do we get out?” a random player questioned.

“Why do you think I know that? We are all in the same boat and this guy is trying to sell you things to help with the situation. Eddie, get up here.”

Eddie shook a definite no but was hoisted up by Denzel and Viktor.

“Go on,” Mira said. “Tell them what you’re doing.”

“Uh, hi guys,” Eddie said meekly, he felt like he was back in school giving a presentation.

“How are you level 3?” a voice asked.

“I got stuck down here a few days ago. I’m sorry that you’re all stuck with me. I’m trying to build rooms in the land that I own here for all of you to stay but I’m working on it still. If we can all work together then I’m sure we can all enjoy the dungeon. Like I said, this is not my fault, I’m just a player trying to help everyone out.”

“See?!” Mira shouted. “So stop giving him ship! If you have a problem with him you’ll deal with me and Denzel and I’m sure you guys know who we are!”

A few looked down to the floor as Mira made eye contact with as many people as she could.

“When can we expect rooms?”

“I’m not sure,” Eddie said. “Could be in the next day or two.”

“Fair enough.”

“Why would the developers make an event down here if we can’t get out?”

Eddie cleared his throat awkwardly. “A moderator told me this area was unfinished. Something was triggered in the game's code and that's why the event was caused. He’s told me that when the next patch comes out, stairs will be added so we can all leave the trash dump.”

“Fudging screw those devs!”

“Yeah! Screw them!”

“Nice job,” Mira whispered to Eddie.

People began to form the orderly line as others spread out into the dungeon. Chatter soon took up the awkward silence that discussed just how bad of a company they are. Frank took over completely from Eddie as the trashmancer took a break.

“Phew, thanks guys,” Eddie said to her group.

“No problem, man, I wonder how they all got down here so quickly,” Denzel said.

“Yeah, same here,” Eddie lied.

“Are you selling maps?” Viktor asked.

Eddie nodded. “Sorry, I should have asked you.”

“No worries man,” Denzel said. “Better you do it than us, Frank’s a natural.”

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah he is.”

“Eddie,” Mira said. “Do you mind if we speak inside?”

“Yeah, sure.”