You took too long finding the button, and ended up stepping on it since you couldn’t bend over.

Ding.

Where is the ding coming from? There aren’t any speakers in here.

And now that you’ve pressed the button there isn’t any vent near the ceiling or confetti, either.

The lack of confetti is a relief, at least.

Would you like to wander around for a few minutes, trying to find a source for the sound?

I mean, you can, go ahead, but spoiler alert: you won’t find any. Sorry.

The walls all feel and sound pretty solid.

They, um, they smell and taste pretty solid too, weirdo. Seriously, who licks a wall?

Anyways, there’s a cupcake sitting on top of the button now. Not that you noticed, since you were too busy making out with a wall, but I don’t judge.

Actually, no, I totally judge. I’m a judgy person.

Oh, you suddenly want to know how I’m watching you? You suddenly have questions about me?

Hah!

Yeah, you’re never gonna find out about me or how I’m seeing you. Don’t even bother asking.

Oh, I have a way, Mr. Expert Worldbuilder. Don’t worry, I have a reasonable explanation. There are no holes in this plot.

Now go eat your cupcake.

You…

There’s a perfectly good cupcake right in front of you, and instead of eating it you move it aside to look at the button.

Sheesh, unwilling test subjects just aren’t what they used to be.

I mean… What?

I didn’t say anything now eat the damn cupcake.

Oh come on, even gluten intolerant people eat cupcakes. Or at least the frosting! It’s a cupcake! Stop looking at the button!

FINE.

The button is firmly secured to the floor. The button is red, plastic, smells like “Hawaiian Breeze” and tastes like a car freshener.

The ring around the button is silver aluminum. It’s thick; won’t bend or crack. It’s set into the concrete, so no chance of prying it off with your fingernails or any handy-shaped jewelry you might be wearing.

The plastic of the button is pretty thick, it’s not going anywhere. It’s not high enough that you can kick it loose.

Wiggling it does nothing.

...Wiggling it still does nothing.

Stop wiggling the damn button, it isn’t going anywhere.

Finally!

It took like a quarter of an hour, but you’re finally looking at the cupcake.

It’s a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting and little round orange sprinkles. It was probably bought at Wal-Mart, not gonna lie. That should give you all the information you need about its quality.

DO YOU EAT THE CUPCAKE? Yes No