《Big Red Button.》Third push.
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You press the button.
Ding.
The lightbulb returns! You have light in the room! Let’s throw a party to bask in the glory of light!
Confetti starts raining out of a vent near the ceiling, quickly covering the ground. Oh, and the bucket of water is gone. Huh. That deff won’t be missed.
You notice that the confetti (rainbow confetti, in the shapes of whatever was cheapest on Amazon) isn’t slowing down. It’s already covered the ground, and is quickly making its way up to your ankles.
That’s… I mean, it’s impressive, really. Have you ever considered how hard it must be to get ahold of sixty-four cubic feet of confetti? Granted, it’s not packed down, but that’s still an insane amount. Figuring out exactly how much confetti that’d be is taking longer than a five-minute Google dive, so you'll have to figure out the math yourself. I’ll leave you with the knowledge that 20 pounds of the stuff can be shoved into a 18X10X8 box, but that’s all nicely vacuum packed undoubtedly.
Oh look it’s passed your ankles.
At least it isn’t glitter. Hah, can you imagine? Confetti is larger, and this paper stuff looks like it’s biodegradable, if not environment-friendly. I mean, it’s basically colored toilet paper. Way better than glitter, even before you take into consideration that if it were glitter you’d be shaking it out of your hair for years to come.
Unless you don’t have hair. Arm hair, then, I guess. Do you have hair? Do I care?
Not really. If you have zero hair, then I guess you’d be digging it out from under your toenails for years to come.
Enjoy that mental imagery.
Another thing that’s impressive must be the force behind that vent, shoving out that much confetti so quickly. Wait, was there a vent near the ceiling before? I don’t think there was. Weird.
Anyways, it’s still coming. Halfway up your calves now. Apparently there was a sale on purple and gold confetti, since that’s what most of it is now. Maybe some football team lost unexpectedly or something.
If you plan on not dying due to confetti inhalation you might want to press that button at some point soon.
DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No
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