I feel both miserable and terrified.

I've never felt such great fear.

Not like this. Not with anyone or anything.

My heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest. Everything feels so fast and uneasy, I feel as though I'm out of breath for some reason. My head is pounding and my nerves are out of my body, everything is crashing into them like lighting. Bright, sharp and painful.

Tony places his hand on my shoulder and I jerk back, electrocuted by his touch.

"Calm down" he says, raising his hands to defend himself. When my shoulders relax he blows out an exasperated breath of relief.

"Not gonna get your scary boyfriend to beat me up after this, right?"

I laugh. "My scary boyfriend wouldn't beat you up...." I say, holding in a breath before looking at him. "He'd kill you."

His eyes widen and lips go pale, his skin transforming into this light shade of red.

"I'm kidding." I mumble. "Plus— if he found out you helped me, he'd.... Like you."

"Like me." He laughs.

Suddenly the carriage comes to a stop and Tony shoots me a look.

I shut my eyes, breathing in deeply.

He puts something in the centre of my palm and when I open my eyes it's lipstick.

I send a glance at him, my eyebrows pushing into one another .

"You look as pale as Dracos hair, put it on."

I sigh, opening it to see a dark red.

With a shaky hand I begin applying it.

Thank the gods the servants back at the manor bathed me, because I know I'd be looking more terrible then how I feel.

"You ready?" He asks, waiting for a response.

It takes me a minute to answer but when I open my mouth to speak the driver opens the carriage door, an eyebrow shooting up his forehead.

"My lady." He bows his head a little and I have to hold back a snort.

He holds out his hand but I decline it, walking past him.

Tony catches up to me, wrapping his arm around mine.

"Remember, don't do that weird thing that you do."

"What? What weird thing."

"That biting your nails, looking around and holding your stomach as if you're about to puke."

"I don't do that." I mumble quietly.

"Remember to be respectful, send a little nod to everyone, smile gently with your eyes squinted. Greet Voldemort as if he is a god. Act like you know nothing, reveal nothing about the incident. Keep your cool and don't go wandering around."

I nod despite the fact I think that all of this is ridiculous. Everything about this is ridiculous.

I rub at my chest, trying to rid myself from that tight heart wrenching pain.

Before stepping in I take a deep breath, closing my eyes.

When I open them I see candles lit everywhere. Flowers of the colours: green, brown, red and orange dangling from the ceiling. It looks as if fall just planted itself in here.

This place oddly soothes my nerves.

But they come right back when we enter the ball room.

My anxiety shoots right up my spine.

Everyone gapes at me, their eyes travelling down my dress and up at my flushed face.

I've never felt more embarrassed.

My nervous eyes shoot around the entire place, trying to sort out the faces.

Fernir Greyback.

The Nott family, though Theodore is nowhere in sight.

Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband. How wretched they look together.

Some old men who have been loyal to Voldemort since forever.

The Parkinson family.

My heart drops.

I look around for Pansy, hoping to God she isn't here.

When I don't spot her, my heart begins to beat again and throats unclogs.

Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy.

Thankfully Draco isn't with them.

I would have broken the entire role if he was here.

I wouldn't be able to handle myself. I'd throw my body into his arms and hug him forever.

Probably make a fool out of myself.

But Narcissa rings something in me. An alert. Bells. Loud bells that scream for me to just be near her.

When her eyes land on me her smile drops and eyebrows lift. Her eyes begin to water and bottom lip trembles.

A small smile tugs on her lips after eyeing me up and down. And I can feel it. That shiver of sadness gushing through me like sharp blades.

The glass in her once tight grip begins to shake a little.

I look away quickly. Ignoring my racing heart that's begging for me to just talk to her. Maybe even hug her.

I look around, keep looking until I feel dizzy and until Tony leads us to "our table."

"Relax." He says under his breath as he sits. "I can basically smell your fear."

"I'm not afraid." I say a little too loud, hoping no one heard.

But the violin controlled by magic plays too loud that it masks out my harsh and intense whispers.

Suddenly the violin stops and everyone stares at the two big front doors.

Slowly, they open.

Voldemort walks in, two death eaters in gold masks by his side.

I hold in a breath. Hoping so dearly he doesn't come to me.

But hope is just another way to mess with one's head.

He smiles at me, and begins walking to me. I have to force myself to smile back.

"Y/n." He says when I stand. I bow my head down a little, my eyes still on him. He holds out a hand, and I grab it. The hairs on my neck fly up when he gently places his cold lips against my skin.

I have to hold back a few tears of disgust when he pulls me into his arms.

He hugs me tightly, placing his pale sharp nailed hand around my head, bringing me closer.

"My lord." I say quietly. Remembering that I haven't "seen him in years."

"It's been a long time." I say, forcing "tears" out of my eyes.

He smiles, amusement unravelling it's way out of his eyes.

"It has been." He says twice. "Have you seen your father, dear girl?"

I frown. "No, my lord. I have not." I shiver when I feel a burning stare cutting into my back, "but I do wish to see him." I say in hope it makes Tony quit staring at me.

"And Tony." He says, holding his hands out.

Tony stands, his hands leaving his pockets. "My lord."

They shake hands, exchanging little fake smiles.

Tony doesn't seem to be afraid.

He never does.

He's always been brave.

More braver then me I can admit.

It almost makes me envy him.

"Y/n." Voldemort calls out. I snap out of my trance, looking back at Tony who's staring at me with alerting eyes.

"Yes, my lord?"

"May I please have this dance?"

I look around, noticing the couples gathering around the middle of the ballroom, dancing in a hypnotic circle.

The rhythm is slow yet hectic, I can see the women trying to hold back their heavy breaths.

Narcissa's eyes lock into mine.

She smiles at me, her eyes full of questions.

Her brows furrow when I gulp. Then slowly, her eyes widen with sudden realisation. Yet I can't tell what exactly she realised. All I know is that it makes my stomach spin and throat go dry.

"Yes." I say. Still looking at Narcissa, but she spins around and now I'm only staring at the back of her head. Like a fool, most would say.

I breathe out, looking back at him with a gentle smile.

He holds out his hand and I grab it, allowing him to lead us both into the hypnotising circle of torture.

He places one hand around my shoulder, the other grabbing my hand and holding our arms away from our bodies.

He stares into my eyes in curiosity.

I look down, breathing in when we take the first leap into the dance.

We spin in the circle, my breathing heavy and un even.

"What have you spent your time doing?" He asks.

I look up at him, my mouth peeking open before he lets me go.

A breath of relief releases itself from my lungs only to return with annoyance. Lucius grabs me. A smirk tucking at the side of his lips.

"Slytherin." He says, fully smiling now.

I have to resist the urge to roll my eyes.

"Lucius." I say back, dragging out my words.

Before he said anything else the partners switched once again. I was met with a recognisable scent.

I looked up at Tony, relief filling my exhausted lungs.

I tried to speak but all I could form out was ragged breaths.

"Stay calm." He whispers, his warm wine smelling voice hitting me right in the face. All I could do was nod.

"This dance will probably last ages. Don't let it consume your mind."

"Let what consume me?" I ask, fear drenching my tongue and stomach.

"The music." He said before letting me go. I crash into a man, my head hitting right at his chest.

He held me to my feet then flung me in the air, luckily for me, he still had me held tightly as he spun me.

I could almost feel my insides spinning. I feel sick. As if I could pass out any minute.

It became hard to focus my gaze on him, but it didn't matter since I was lead right back to Voldemort who had a wicked smile displayed on his thin lips.

I remember his question.

"Haven't been doing much." I gasp, spinning back around. "Trying to do the regular witch thing." I smiled, ignoring that unpleasant feeling of acid at the back of my throat.

"Ah, as in school? Your father must be very proud of you."

I nod once, swallowing hard.

"Enjoying the ball, so far?" He asks, I nodded before breathing in deeply as we began to slow down.

The music slowly changed into a slower beat and he placed both hands on my waist.

I had to ignore the sickness that spread throughout my entire body, the way my blood went cold and the hairs on the back of my neck lifted. Or the way I could feel the music pulling me into its magic, as if my soul is slowly being pulled away from my body and colliding with the music.

My face felt hot and eyes felt dry with burning tears.

I already felt exhausted.

"You may not remember." He whispers, leaning down.

"But last year, we danced to this song."

He is right. I don't remember that because it never happened. Another "memory" he apparently thinks he implanted in my head.

A smile tugs at my lips and I have to force myself to look at him.

"Yes." I look down, "it sometimes plays in my head." A lie. I gulp down the fear. Though it did nothing to help my dry throat. It only made me feel worse. I take in a shaky breath, my eyes darting to my sore feet that look red under the heels they gave me.

I feel very uncomfortable in them.

"I think I may have a seat." I say, "I am exhausted."

He nods once, watching me as I walk quickly to my seat and slumped down into it, an exhausted breath escaping my mouth.

I placed the heel of my palms to my eyes, rubbing them hard.

Suddenly, I'm hit with a wave of emotion.

Happiness.

Just pure happiness.

"She's alive." The voice echoed in my head.

She's alive.

SO SORRY IF I MADE ANY SPELLING MISTAKES PLEASE CORRECT ME SO I DONT EMBARRASS MYSELF.

as you can all tell, I'm very lazy and do NOT feel like correcting any errors so just ignore something that's wrong and comment a quick correction for this chapter and the previous two!

Hope you all enjoyed, please comment your thoughts on this chapter and the other two!