I'm standing in front of a mirror.

Staring at every scratch, wound, bruise, blister, cut, and curve.

Every glaring error of myself.

I can see my rib cage.

My bones.

My fragile, weak bones.

My skin feels so thin, so tight and bruised. Moving even an inch sends a shivering pain along the spine of my back.

My waist has become smaller, as small as it was when I was thirteen years old.

My abs are more deeper, more defined and sharp. I'm definitely more lean then I was before.

I'm as pale as a ghost.

My lips are dry and eyes are white. There's no colour in my face. No emotion at all.

I look horrifying.

There was these dead elf heads along the stair case wall in Sirius blacks residence that almost looks exactly how I look now.

Dead.

The whites in my eyes have never been brighter.

"Y/n." Tony calls from behind the door.

"Yes." I speak out, swallowing hard.

"Are you done?"

"Uh— w-wait." I mumble, quickly grabbing the robe on the hanger and wrapping myself around it. I pull my over grown hair back, breathing in deeply. My curls are gone, they've turned into a wavy mess. Like the ocean during a hurricane.

"Come in." I say.

The door knob twists in an unpleasant way that it makes me want to scratch my skin off, and when he comes in his face is pale. Almost as pale as mine.

"Have you been eating any of the food they've given you?" He asks.

I look back at the mirror. Look at my face. I no longer have my round cheeks or freckles. Not that my freckles were that visible before. But now they've totally vanished.

I shake my head.

"Well, they won't leave you be if you keep losing weight." He says, nodding his head towards the scale.

I sigh, walking towards it and stepping on it, placing all my weight down.

108 pounds, it read.

I used to be 120 pounds at the start of the school year.

He looks at the number, a sigh leaving his mouth like an echo.

"You've lost two more pounds.... With your height, this is unhealthy. A five foot five woman shouldn't weigh this much."

I shut my eyes. "I— I just haven't had the appetite to eat."

"Well, you have to get the appetite. If you don't eat for another two days, there's no doubt you'll die from starvation."

I nod, breathing in deeply.

"Don't think." He says when he catches me staring at the floor. "Don't think about anything."

"It's hard." I say.

"Fine." He mumbles, breathing in. "Think of one thing, something that will please him. And keep thinking it, if a thought you know would make him question your loyalty pops up suddenly, make yourself feel confused. Make your self feel sad

or— or anything to prove to him that you're not going to betray him again."

I nod. "So, he's only able to know what I think and feel, right?"

"Yes." He nods, pulling out something from his pocket. "He doesn't know what you're saying right now." Tony says before popping a piece of bubble gum in his mouth.

"Okay." I nod. "Any information on Mattheo?"

Tony nods. "The woman, Anastasia— she's planning on coming to Hogwarts."

"How do you know this?"

"I have some... people in their walls."

"Where exactly is their walls?"

He smirks. "I don't know... I know it's underground, though."

"Under ground?"

He nods, popping the gum in his mouth.

"Like the p-place I was in?" Pop, pop.

"No. Well, yes." Pop, pop. "After you and Marie blew that place up they lost track of you."

Right, he knows about Marie which means Dumbledore and him are in contact. But if dumbledore and him are in contact.... Then why won't dumbledore do anything about me being imprisoned. Maybe he's planning a way to get me out, maybe that's why Tony is here.

"What do you mean?"

"They were coming for you. Luckily you got out of there in time."

"What was that place, anyways?"

"A private investigation business, that business works against your aunts' business."

I breathe in, trying to calm my nerves.

"At first they didn't know where you were. They captured Mattheo and your friends to question them of your whereabouts, meanwhile their stay there, they found you only to lose you once again. Anastasia was angered, she—" he clears his throat.

"She what?" My voice shakes. Fear paints my insides when he doesn't speak. "She what, Tony?"

"She tortured Mattheo." He says quietly.

My blood goes cold and I can't speak. I can't breathe, I can't do anything. I feel as though I've been struck with lightning.

As if the entire world has stopped.

And when he walks towards me I don't even notice it. I don't even acknowledge it.

My body feels so heavy. My shoulders, my back, my arms, my legs. Yet my head feels so light.

As if it's trying to escape this body.

He grabs my shoulders. "Breathe, Y/n."

I follow his instructions, closing my eyes.

"He is fine. My guard told me he is okay. He is one of Anastasia's most "trusted men." He's the one that takes Mattheo out from his cell, brings him to her. He watches him 24/7. He guards his door, and he sneaks him in some pain killers, antibiotics and vitamins with the antidote they give him. And don't worry about the poisoning, it's hardly enough to actually kill him. It's only to weaken him, plus the antidote helps as I said."

I nod, slightly becoming convinced by his attempts to calm me down. But the poisoning? Is it truly necessary?

"He's okay." I say.

Tony nods.

"He is okay."

A cookie.

Is all they gave me.

This place is a joke, these people are a joke.

The man behind the door whistles, like a humming bird.

I shut my eyes. Annoyed.

"Crack the cookie in two." He says quietly, returning to his whistling.

My brows furrow, I stare at the plate, before lunging towards the cookie, taking a little bite from the edge.

I crack it into two, the corners of my eyes squinting when I see a rectangular shaped parchment in it.

I place it on the floor in between my legs, trying to read it.

"Y/n is okay. Stay put. (Eat the paper once read.)"

My heart goes fast.

I grab one of the broken pieces of the cookie, putting the note under it then shoving it all in my mouth.

Y/n is okay.

This almost feels like a dream.

My heart feels as though it's been revived. As if I've been resurrected from the dead.

Y/n is alive.

I feel as though I am dead inside, as if my entire body just shut down and the only living thing left is my brain.

This stupid running brain that won't shut up.

It's hard not to think.

Tony told me not to think. Not to even try to think. But I can't stop my brain from doing what it wants to do.

I'm not controlling the voices, they are controlling me.

Tony sighs when he catches me zoning out again, he snaps his finger in my face, his lip curling upwards when I look at him.

"What?" I mumble.

"What." He mocks. "Listen, shit eyes-"

"Shit eyes?" I laugh.

"Yes, shit eyes."

"How do I have shit eyes." I frown.

"Because y'know, shit is like green and brown."

"You shit green poop?"

He laughs nervously. "No."

"Sure." I mumble, trying to hide my smile.

"Shut up." He says, rolling his eyes.

A woman comes in, rolling in a rack that holds a beautiful dress on it. The top is covered in beautiful blue designs of thick glittered fabric and the end is a thick white silk threaded on to it. If you look close enough you can tell under the blue designs is a very light and see through silk.

"Who's that for?" I whisper to Tony. He clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck. "Listen, it's for the ball... and.."

"And?" I cock an eyebrow up.

"And.. well, you have to attend. Voldemort wants to see you. Everyone wants to see you."

"E-Everyone?" My voice cracks, breaking into a high pitch sound. The woman shoots us a quick glance.

I look away quickly, moving away from Tony.

She stomps towards me, her bushy brows pushed together. Without saying anything, she holds the dress up.

"Uh.." I mumble. "What am I to do with this?"

"On." She says. "Put the dress on."

"Okay." I breathe out, grabbing it from her. "I'll put it on."

She nods, looking at Tony before walking out.

I look at him, my brows furrowed and jaw unhinged slightly.

He shrugs, squeezing his nose bridge.

"Who exactly is going to be at this ball?" I ask, my throat beginning to dry at the thought of seeing Voldemort.

Maybe my plans of killing him weren't thought through. I know in order to kill him I need to destroy his horcruxes. I was just so angry, and... I took the chance. I took the only opportunity.

And now I have to suffer for it.

Now I have to suffer for my mistakes.