Do you know the feeling. The indescribable feeling that everything's crumbling?

I've known that feeling. It was 8 years ago. 8 years ago I crumbled.

Flashback

"Mommy what's happening?" I asked my mother, terrified. Someone had broken in downstairs and was walking around.

"Stay quiet Riah, please." I nodded tears streaming down my cheeks. I had always been an emotional person. Tears came easily to me.

Just then the thumping of heavy footsteps came closer. Involuntarily, I whimpered.

I felt my mother's hands on my face, pulling me to look at her.

"Riah baby, I want you to be strong. Never let your tears fall for those who want them. I love you so much. Always remember that."

I was too confused to answer. My mom didn't notice, she kissed my forehead before wiping my fallen cheeks. Ushering me into the utility closet while grabbing a shiny metal thing.

A gun.

I sat frozen in core shaking fear as my mother slid the door closed. Footsteps retreating.

Minutes later my eyes widened. Without thinking, I jumped out of the closet and ran downstairs.

I forgot to tell my mom I loved her back.

I rushed down the stairs. Almost slipping around the corner before

determinedly plowing on.

That was until I heard the gunshot.

Scrambling around the corner, I couldn't help the screech that tore out of my throat.

End of flashback

My eyes tore open. Breathing shakily as I lie frozen in my bed. Cold and shivering from the pictures dancing unforgiving in my vision.

Needing to get out of bed, I sat up took note of the time. I was up fairly early compared to when school would begin.

I could smell the intoxicating aroma of sausage and bacon from downstairs. The rest of my family was probably eating.

Sighing heavily, I starting to pull myself out of bed. Ignoring the slight ache in my chest knowing that I was not woken up to join them for the meal.

Shakily walking towards my wardrobe, picking out some clothes before going to the bathroom. Mindlessly I clicked the button the turn on the fan before stepping into the cool water.

I shivered slightly, paying for my consequence of stepping into the spray before it had properly warmed up. My hair soaked itself through. Slowly becoming more silky as I cleaned it.

When I had finished washing my face I stepped out of the shower, quickly drying myself to avoid the cold. I dressed up in a pair of leggings with a hoodie. Throwing an extra layer in the form of a flannel on over top after remembering the weather.

Taking note of how much time I was taking, I brushed my teeth and ran some products through my hair until I was able to braid it down my back without too many curls pulling away.

Then, quickly applying some subtle makeup to finish off my daily routine, I collected my pajamas and headed back to my room.

I ran into Sara on my way back. She muttered something under her breath about me finally being done. I couldn't help but wince slightly and apologize before she disappeared.

Taking a glance at my clock, I realized it was alot later than I thought it was. Grabbed my backpack that I had packed the day before and phone off my night stand I dashed down the stairs.

My father was sitting at the table. His brown hair sitting neatly on top of his head and beard trimmed. His head didn't turn as I walked into the kitchen. Not even glancing my way.

His wife though, my stepmother, stopped her chewing and called a quick and quiet goodmorning. I greeted her back before grabbing a yogurt carton out of the fridge.

Sophie, Melissa's daughter was sitting at the table with the two adults also. Sara appeared through the staircase not long after. Sitting down in front of a plate of eggs. Making my father the only brunette among blondes.

Sophie was a year older than me, in her senior year, while I was in Grade eleven. Sara was younger though, starting her tenth year of school.

I leaned quietly on the island eating my yogurt while examining the four of my family members at the table. It was easy to see them as a family. Matching blue eyes and most sharing the same light locks. It hurt being on the outside.

"Girls you should probably get going," Melissa spoke up. I pretended that I was included in that sentence even as she faced her back to me. Clearly speaking only to her daughters.

I followed Sara with my bag as Sophie grabbed the keys. The two girls called goodbye to my father and Melissa, both adults calling back. I kept my mouth shut. Not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable.

Instead, we headed out to the car. I offered to take the back seat, wanting to spend a bit of time alone. The two girls had no problem with it. Settling in the front and slipping into easy conversation.

Just like sisters would. It was the reason that made our family so uncomfortable. Melissa, Sara and Sophie were all related. And my dad had married into the family. Choosing to join their trio. And me, I had a rocky relationship with my father before, but now. It seemed like the longer I stayed the more terrible it became.

My father and Melissa's wedding had been around six months ago and the two for them had decided to move. Wanting to come for a fresh start as a family.

I should've stayed behind.

Which is what led us to now. Driving to our first day at our new school. Thankfully, it was the first day back at school for everyone, so we wouldn't have to deal with being the new girls that showed up in the middle of the year.

It would still be difficult to face everyone though.

Trying not to stress, I examined the things in our new town as Sara hooked her Bluetooth up to the car. Starting a pretty calm sounding Playlist.

Despite my best efforts to swallow my fear and breathe deeply. I still felt the urge to throw up tugging on my throat. Anxiety gnawing at my chest like a dog with a chew toy.

I stared at the school as Sara and Sophia started getting out of the car. Swallowing deeply, I thought positively to myself.

How bad could this be?