Xavier jerked his hand away, looking stunned. Or stung. Maybe both. I didn't blame him, I would be stunned too if the person I had been talking to suddenly revealed the fact they knew everything.

He shifted on his feet, not knowing how to respond to that. "You know? You knew, this entire time?" I nodded shamefully. He ran a hand through his gorgeous black hair, slicking it back so it no longer fell in front of his forehead. He shook his head at me, undoing the hair he had just swept back. A few strands framed his forehead now.

"I'm sorry," I said lamely for probably the hundredth time that day. "I wish I could take it back, but I can explain everything. If you'll hear me out." My voice grew timid at the end, knowing he very well could reject me, send me away for how I played him off these past weeks.

His sigh was full of exasperation, but he finally nodded, and I took that as a hopeful sign. He looked at me expectantly and I glanced around the campus.

"Not here."

Confused, he nodded, taking my hand back and pulling me with him. "I know where."

I followed as he pulled me to his truck. Reaching into the bed, he pulled out a quilt that had seen better days. Four weeks ago, I would have snorted and mocked him for keeping such a tattered thing in the truck. But I knew I had lost that privilege.

He kept my hand tightly in his, the blanket tucked under the opposite arm. We walked for a while, in silence except for my occasional questions of where we were going. Questions he did not answer, of course. Until we turned right around the corner of a building and I saw a large, open grassy field across the street. On the other end stood a children's playground.

We darted across the road and trekked to the middle of the field, the crunch of dying grass beneath our feet the only sound between us. The trees that skirted the field were lit up in vibrant colors of oranges, yellows, and reds. Some even already brown as their leaves died to prepare for winter. I had never been to this part of Harrisonburg, and it was beautiful. I'm sure October made it that way, but I could see it being just as wonderful in the middle of summer, when the plants were thriving and the stream to the east of the field was flowing, with children laughing as they splashed in the shallow waters, hunting for crawdads to show off to their parents.

Xavier spread the quilt down and pulled me on it. I kneeled down beside him, looking anywhere but his eyes. I knew he was expecting me to start my explanation for everything. But I couldn't shake the urge that someone was watching. I swiveled my head around several times back one forth, hunting, even though I had known when we got here that the park was empty. Maybe I was just nervous to tell my biggest secret to someone this important to me.

Which seemed backwards, I knew that. I probably should've been more scared to tell Emerald and River over my own destined soulmate. But nevertheless, I was afraid of what his reaction would be.

He sat there silently, not even shifting around as he waited patiently for me to start talking. When I did, his eyes never left mine, as if he was trying to soak every part of me up.

"I made a promise to my parents before I came out here." He already looked confused and I glanced down at the blanket. "I don't actually live down the street from the Williams. I'm from Utah."

His eyebrows shot up, obviously not expecting that revelation. Still, he stayed patiently quiet.

"I had to play the part of human around the Williams' pack and around any new wolves I met. To keep me safe, I guess."

"Why can't you feel the mate pull. Besides the obvious sparks, of course."

"How did you know?"

He licked his lips, leaning back on his elbows. "When I first saw you, barging into the dining room during my meeting with River, your eyes met mine but didn't stop. It was like you just jumped past me. Normally mates know the second you make eye contact. I knew you were mine in that moment, but you didn't seem to notice. And then I saw you in the window upstairs as we were leaving."

I knew he had seen me! And I had guessed he had known since that day. "Honestly? I have no idea why I can't feel the invisible tug, only the physical cues like the sparks."

"Are you stunted?" I guess he couldn't help himself to asking questions before I got everything out.

"No. But I was late. And. . ." I took a giant deep breath, knowing I could only unravel farther, "I'm not a wolf."

He opened his mouth several times before deciding what to say. "That's impossible. Unless you're human, but then why would you be raised in a pack? Or at least know of them." He thought for a second, "you shifted, though?" He must have been so confused.

"I'm not a wolf. I'm a fox."

"A fox." It wasn't a question, but a statement he didn't know if he could believe.

I nodded, "my most closely guarded secret. My parents are strict about it too, only a few select people even know in my own pack." Suddenly my childhood made sense. Why I was an outsider. And it was more than just being untouchable as the alpha's daughter. No one knew about me, they thought I was stunted, or just a late blooming wolf that was too weak to join them on runs through the mountains.

"I'm not sure what they think is going to happen to me if people know, but they're adamant that I stay hidden. No risk taking. Emerald and River know, because we felt they needed to since I'm living under their roof."

"You're living there?"

"Yes, would you keep up?" Finally I got him to flash me a smile, and for a second it almost felt normal again.

Sighing, I knew I had to explain why I had shut him out. "That's why I said I shut everyone out. I was lonely growing up, I only had my parents and my siblings. Everlee was the first real friend I had ever made. And then you. I wasn't sure how to handle the weight of my secret pressing down on me, especially after you touched my hand and I determined who you were to me. I had such a terrible guilty conscience I collapsed in on myself." I was breaking down again. This man had seen me cry more than anyone else now, besides my mother, obviously. "I'm sorry." My voice cracked and he sat up to pull me into his chest, spreading his legs so I could sit between them with my knees to my chest. I pulled my sweater sleeves over my hands and ducked my head under his chin.

"I'm sorry," he said and I almost pulled away. What was he sorry about? None of this was his fault. "I wish I had known what was going on. I should have followed you that day, caught up and made sure you were truly fine. And I should have sought you out when you avoided me."

I let out a hoarse snort. I couldn't believe he was actually trying to make himself the blame.

Pulling away, I placed a hand in his chest. "Xavier, you didn't do anything wrong. This is all on me." I sniffled and he reached a hand up to cup my cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen from my cheek.

"What made you change your mind? Suddenly trust me with this secret?"

I smiled to myself, "someone told me recently that I was in charge of me, not my parents anymore."

He smiled too, putting his forehead to mine and running his nose along my cheek. I shivered, but not from the chilly air that swept through the field as the sun started sinking below the trees. Turning my head slightly to the right so our noses were against each other, I asked him with my eyes. He smiled briefly before closing the gap between us and lighting up a firework much more powerful than the tiny electric sparks that ran down our arms when we held hands. This was a fire, and it burned to my core, filling me with so much desire I couldn't help but turn my body — without breaking the kiss — towards him to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him impossibly closer.

His hands dropped from my face to my waist, lifting me up and laying me on my back. Eventually, his lips left mine to explore my face and neck, reaching the spot he would mark me. I gasped in air, suddenly wanting him to claim me as his. But I knew it was way to soon for that, too fast, and we were both too vulnerable after the weeks apart we'd had. But the fire between us was strong and I was desperate to keep it there.

Too soon, he pulled away from me, letting me return oxygen to my lungs as he laid on his back beside me. A hand traveled down the length of my arm before he connected our hands together. And we lay there, staring at the stars that had made a fast appearance now that the sun was nearly gone for the day.

Now that the heat between us had settled, I could feel the cold air take over and I shivered, my teeth clicking together. I scooted closer to Xavier, wrapping my right arm around his and curling my body into his side. He turned towards me and brushed his lips against my hairline in a feather of a kiss.

"I really missed you."

My heart leaped at those four simple words, and I grinned like a lovesick teenager. "I missed you too. I'm sorry for hurting you."

"I know." He whispered, sounding almost as if he were falling asleep. This was probably the first time he had felt truly relaxed since I had asked him to leave me alone. Honestly? It was the first time I had truly felt relaxed, maybe even in my entire life.

I knew I still had to patch it up with Everlee, and maybe even Andrew, even though I didn't know him that well — despite him feeling comfortable enough to give me a nickname — but now that I was okay with Xavier again, I felt immensely better. The guilt that had been crushing me for weeks was finally gone, and I could just enjoy the feeling of his bare arm in my hands — I had no idea how he wasn't freezing too — and my cheek against his chest. I felt safe.