I disappeared into the bathroom needing some space and time alone. I was emotionally drained, after what felt like hours of Fuchsia and Bren asking me questions and having me give them detailed information about what happened at the hospital. Originally, she had wanted the whole crew present but I had refused. She protested but Bren supported me so she finally gave up. It was painful to remember the gruesome details of Dr. Wilhelm’s experiments on me and what happened with Lance because it felt like I was reliving it. I could tell that Fuchsia and Bren were making an effort to not react to what I was telling them, perhaps for my sake. But now that I had left, their tone changed. In an attempt to not let me hear they whispered, but my hearing was far too sensitive to miss it.

The bathroom was dim except for the light above the mirror. I turned the cool water on and splashed my face. The water trickled down my neck and onto my shirt. I placed my hands on the sink and leaned forward to look at myself in the mirror. The time that I spent captive had taken its toll on me in more than one way. The person who stared back at me was unrecognizable. He was emaciated, pale, and his sunken eyes looked dead and cold. As I reached for the towel beside the sink I thought I heard something. My mind had started playing tricks on me as I saw Creso standing behind me in the reflection. I turned around quickly as I heard his voice, “Liam.” Was he really there? No he couldn’t be. I struggled to make sense of the shadows in the bathroom.

Then I heard another voice back in the direction of the mirror. It was Lance, my name, “Jax,” rolled off his tongue like poison. I folded into the floor as fear washed over me. I held my head as it throbbed trying to sort through what I had just heard and seen. I stood back up and grabbed the sink to steady myself. I need to focus. Pull myself together. None of this is real, my mind is just messing with me.

I could hear Fuchsia, her voice was getting increasingly louder and Bren sounded like he was trying to calm her down. My head throbbed more as I felt anger fill me. I struck the mirror with my fist. Shards of glass fell around me and droplets of blood hit the sink. I stepped back a little, shocked by what I had done. Bren and Fuchsia came tumbling through the door. Surprisingly, neither said a word to me. Bren walked over to me and wrapped a towel around my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom and back to the loveseat in the bedroom. Fuchsia remained in the bathroom. I had made yet another mess for her to clean up and with every clink of glass I heard falling into the metal wastebasket I felt terrible. I looked at Bren as I pulled my hand away and said, “I’m sorry!”

“You have a right to be angry, don’t apologize!,” he said.

Bren reached out and examined my hand, rubbing his fingers gently over the light pink skin, the only remaining evidence of my injury. There was no pain, but his touch caused my muscles to contract and my body shivered as if cold. His eyes widened out of concern as he asked, “are you ok?”

I stood up, stepped in front of him and slipped my hands onto his shoulders. The blue light pulsed rhythmically within his cybernetic eye and I found it strangely calming. I released a long breath as my tension began to melt away.

Bren whispered, “Jax?” I realized I had been staring at him for far too long again. I leaned closer, shifting one of my hands to the back of the loveseat and a knee into the seat beside Bren.

He looked up at me silently, as I whispered back, “ I have missed you, a lot,” before pressing my lips against his. His hands found their way to my back and pulled me closer to him. Bren made me feel safe and loved, and this was not something I was used to or not that I could remember anyway. I wanted to believe that this was real and that I could be happy. Voices and fear began to creep forward from the darkness in my mind. I tried to push them back as my body began to tense and my confidence began to falter. Luckily, I heard Fuchsia’s heels click on the bathroom floor and assumed she was leaving. I quickly slid back onto the loveseat beside Bren, turning my head in the direction of the window. I didn’t want to talk anymore and I hoped Fuchsia would just let me rest.

Bren got up and walked towards Fuchsia and they talked. I sat alone on the loveseat watching the storm, grateful for the distraction until I heard something roll off the table beside me. I looked down to see what made the noise and noticed a notebook on the table with several pencils beside it. I squinted my eyes and realized it was Bren’s sketchbook. I scooped it up and flipped it open. I flipped past old drawings until I found one and stopped. There was no mistaking it, Bren had drawn me. I continued to flip and saw more of me, and some with him. I looked up expecting him to still be talking with Fuchsia but instead he had turned around to see me and I could tell he knew what I was looking at. Before he could approach me, Sina came to the door and asked us to join her in the living room.

When I stepped into the living room I could see Fuchsia's friends Jackie and Lyra sitting on the couch. Jackie looked mad and Lyra was trying to calm him down. To my surprise Fuchsia laughed and said, “I guess your Dad called and he is pissed. Right?”

Jackie turned around and said, “ how can you laugh? He has threatened to come here.”

Fuchsia sighed and said, “Jackie, we knew this was going to happen. He should have listened to me when I first asked for help. If he comes I will talk with him, don’t worry.”

I was so confused. “Who is Jackie’s Dad? And why would he come here?”