(Jax POV)

My whole body felt like it was on fire not long ago, but now I felt like something cool was running through my veins. I could hear familiar voices around me and I struggled to open my eyes. I twisted uncomfortably as bright light seeped through, followed by pain and nausea. All of a sudden I felt a comforting weight on my forehead and warm breath on my face. I blinked trying to clear my vision as I heard his voice. I slowly closed my eyes as a heaviness creeped up on me and I knew I was losing the battle to stay awake. I tried to say his name but my throat was dry and it came out as some unrecognizable sound. He squeezed my hand and whispered, “I’m here with you, you are safe. Try to sleep!” I felt his breath once again close to my face as he said, “I love you!” and then the warmth of his lips brushed my cheek with a kiss. I squeezed back wishing I could do more, but this was all I had in me.

Some hours later I awoke, painfully aware of my body. Whatever Fuchsia had given me had begun to wear off. I rolled to my side trying to sit up and realized Bren was asleep beside me. I crawled closer to him eager to wake him. I hesitated as I stared at his face, finally having the chance to see him properly.

His eye must have been severely damaged when the trade happened. I placed fingertips gently on his face. The surgical site where the metal and flesh fused together were not completely healed and I worried that it might hurt him. I was admiring Fuchsia’s work when Bren opened his eyes. I instantly froze as our eyes met, afraid to breathe in such close proximity. I was so close that I could see the eye adjusting and a blue shimmer pulsate as it focused on me. I swallowed hard as I tried to remind myself that this was Bren. Bren realized what I was looking at and flinched as he quickly covered his eye. I gently pulled his hand away and smiled and said, “don’t cover it.” His hand fell to his side as I placed my hands on both sides of his face and looked at him fully just before leaning forward to kiss him.

If it were not for the sudden surge of pain we would have stayed in each other's arms. I pushed back rather forcefully while gritting my teeth. Why can’t I have some peace? Bren sat up quickly and said, “I’m going to get Fuchsia.”

I fell back on to the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Flashes of what happened yesterday started to flood my mind, my stomach churned and acid filled my throat. I ran to the bathroom, sweat pouring down my body, not wanting to face the fact that I had probably killed Lance. I grabbed the toilet seat as my body convulsed and my throat burned as my body fought to purge itself. I covered my ears as I heard a sound of what I thought were bullets. I felt hands on my back and a voice causing me to shift quickly to the wall in fear. Suddenly I was being pulled into someone's arms and I opened my eyes to see Bren. He pulled my hands away from my ears and said, “Jax what is wrong?”

I shook my head and whispered, “I killed him. I killed Lance, didn’t I?”

Bren looked down at me and then pulled me tightly into his arms and said, “I don’t know.”

My body trembled as I said, “blood, blood was everywhere.”

When I awoke yesterday the floor was a sea of blood but I didn’t see Lance. How could he have survived?

Bren pushed me back and said, “Jax no one was in the room when we got to you. There was a trail of blood down the hallway but we didn’t follow it. Also a lot of the blood was yours, from when you fell and hit your head.”

I heard another voice behind Bren say, “I am surprised you didn’t need blood. You are lucky Jax!” I opened my eyes and looked back to see a tired looking Fuchsia. She was rocking a pill bottle back and forth in her hand.

I closed my eyes, and shook my head and said, “No Fuchsia, I don’t want to take that again.”

She stepped forward in protest and said, “Jax I don’t have a better alternative right now.”

I nestled back down against Bren, and said, “I don’t care! I don’t want it.”

Fuchsia sighed and said, “Listen, Blue Cryo will no longer pose the same problems as before, We took care of that, remember?”

Bren pushed me back again and said rather sternly, “Jax there is no other option and you know it is only going to get worse without it.”

He was right, the longer I sat here the worse I felt. Soon I was going to be in the same situation as before. I looked back at Fuchsia not wanting to respond, but I was too tired to argue so I agreed to take them.

Fuchsia walked over and placed a hand on my forehead and said, “you are as pale as a ghost but luckily you do not have a high fever. I will go get you a glass of water and then I will meet you back in the bedroom.”

Bren pulled me up and we walked back to the bedroom to wait on Fuchsia. I noticed flashing outside and realized it was lighting. A loud boom erupted from outside and grabbed my ears. It must have been thunder that I heard while I was in the bathroom.

Bren walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “it started storming not long after we got you inside.”

I heard a tap on the door and turned around to see Fuchsia and Sina. Fuchsia walked over and handed me the glass and motioned for me to open my hand. I was reluctant to do so, but what else could I do? I opened my hand just in time to catch the blue pills as they rolled out of the bottle into my hand. I stared at them. I didn’t crave them, not like before. It was different, Fuchsia was right. I stared at them before throwing them down my throat.

I started to take a sip to wash them down when another large rumble sounded. I almost dropped the class, luckily Bren grabbed my hand to steady it.

Fuchsia walked over towards the window and said, “we will be here for a while so we might as well talk.”

She walked back over to me and took a seat on the loveseat beckoning me to join. I felt trapped. I didn’t want to talk and be forced to remember what happened at the hospital. What good was it going to do? Dr. Nemeroff was dead. I am almost positive that I killed Lance. And Dr. Wilhelm decided to use me as a guinea pig for his sadistic experiments.

I looked out the window as flashes of light filled the sky and the constant unpleasant rumble reminded me that I couldn’t even run away.