Monday, Mal’s basement base

Mal was having a nice little beauty sleep before it was interrupted by a clattering noise and an argument

”who the fuck puts a goddamn rowing machine on the stairs”

”I dunno, Phil, nor do I care, now help me move this thing already”

Suddenly, Mal remembered why they left this neighborhood in the first place, the collision was moving into this place. And so without thinking, Mal spoke their thoughts to the world “darn” and the world- no Phil replied “ay, there’s someone down ‘ere, let’s get em' earl” and thus the battle begun.

Mal didn’t for those two to go down the stairs, grabbing their axe from their pack and dashed next to the stairwell, ready to cleave the next person to step through the door. Like earl, who got an axe to the gut. as the words “aarhg phhucker” resounded as a confirmation.

Mal attempted to pull their axe out from earl's stomach, but it wouldn’t come out. A quick observation found that Earl had grabbed onto the wood of the axe and removed it from his torso then pulled backwards yanking Mal to the pair. Afterwards, earl fell to his knees because removing the thing that stabbed you makes you bleed more.

despite earl’s folly, it was more than enough time for Phil to land a blow with his nailbat onto Mal’s shoulder. the blow threw the disoriented mal to the floor with a thud, barely giving Mal any time to roll out of the way of the follow up swing towards Mal’s prone body.

Mal retaliated with a kick to Phil’s shins with their steel tipped boots, causing him to stumble as Mal scrambled up. not losing their momentum, Mal brought a knee to Phil’s face, which resulted in Mal charlie-horsing their knee on Phil’s thick skull. Noticing how their attack was ineffective, Mal began searching for the knife on their belt.

In a moment of opportunity, Mal was hit in the side of their stomach by a backhanded swing of Phil’s bat, ripping through their coat and scratching their flesh, causing Mal to almost drop their just drawn knife. with quick reflexes,

Mal then ducked dodging a blow the the head and receiving a knee to the face knocking them backwards Mal recovered and quickly sidestepped in attempt to dodge a cheap swing at their stomach, causing the blow to get caught on Mal's Coat instead.

Using the opening Mal then ran at Phil with the knife, tackling him and driving it under Phil’s rib cage. Mal twisted and withdrew the knife, using the shock as an opportunity to stab Phil even more times. But the victory was not for long because as Mal was busy doing reverse surgery on Phil, they were too distracted to fully react to the claw hammer nailing the back of their head from a bloody and shaking earl, who mustered a “gotchya” before collapsing too.

Mal once again opened their eyes to the new message from Saturday. Which read the same as before except for one small difference, administrator039-A's message now read

SUCKER

Instead of getting annoyed, Mal regretted not writing down the old message because now they might of missed something important from it, and would never know, like what was that about a cuckhold, was that important? Not right now, what was important was to prepare this house like it was the author’s favorite home invasion movie

All in all, Mal had some work to do