Saturday night, August 6 ( 2: the sqeakuel)

mal knew that they had to leave this place, but mal was a petty person, not a wise one. And so, they had some revenge they needed to prepare for, the coming Monday. But firstly, they needed sleep.

—————————————————

Sunday morning, August 7, 2067

mal sat up and cracked their knuckles, it was time for Mal’s knowledge of things that you shouldn’t need to know to use.

mal knew they had to play dirty, so that’s what they did, the first thing was rig the basement door with an homemade explosive (yes, they do know how to make one, just ask Richard Mackerson state prison.)

Using a petroleum jelly container, nail polish remover, antifreeze, bleach bottle and drain cleaner (container for base and Vaseline, the rest are components listed in order of mention: acetone, ethylene glycol, hydrogen peroxide, and sulfuric acid, hello fbi), after adding glass shards for shrapnel, mal made a “surprise box” and set it under the rowing machine, using copper wire they led the cord from the “surprise” to the basement where they had a car battery ready to have some fun laying the wire two feet away from the battery for precaution, mal got on to their next felony.

mal wasn’t entirely sure that the bomb would work or malfunction, so they placed their stuff and sleeping bag as far away from the stairs as they could. Next they started taking the extra nails and boards, and made improvised caltrops, they placed these in front of most windows on the first floor. next to hide the bomb they cluttered the stairs to camouflage it as more clutter. This could also work as a alarm, they noted

after finishing the home alone: r rated edition, mal decided to get some rest after their hard work. But before they went to sleep, they placed their ax at the ready.

——————————————————

Monday morning, aug 8,

mal woke up to clattering and a “fuck man, this basement’s dirty, what the fuck man, is that a rowing machine on the stairs? Who does that?” It was game time.

mal picked up their end of the wire and waited. “I dunno phil, now help me move this thing” mal stayed silent ready to detonate, “Aliright earl lift on three, one… two… thr—“ BOOM.

Mal could see Earl get thrown into the wall by the bottom of the stairs, and without wasting a second, grabbed their axe and moved toward earl’s vulnerable body.

“what the—“ THUNK, was all that could be heard in the next 3 seconds. Turning towards the stairs mal could see Phil passed out on the stairs, legs broken and cut with shrapnel from the blast, the stairs below unusable from the blast, mal figuring that Phil wouldn’t get far grabbed their stuff and used the crowbar to open the cellar door leading to the backyard. Disappointed that they had to move again, they fled the scene of the crime, on their way to their next location

——————————————————

3 hours later, at the ex-base of mal,

phil regained consciousness and started dragging himself to the door leading to the first floor, thinking to himself ‘shit I gotta report this threat to camp’

climbing the last step, Phil looked up to see a person waiting for them, back hunched like the hunchback of notredame and mouth frothing like a rabid dog. “what the hell?” Was the last coherent words that came from Phil’s mouth