I’d explained my plan, and Cris and Sun were fully on board with it. Cody was still having a hard time believing what he had become, while Jessop studied us as if we were a sample in one of his labs. Given the chance, I expect he would’ve donned a full hazmat suit and breathing apparatus to prevent any contamination from our insanity. I took the chance while we were just waiting around to pull up Cody’s new character tab.

Name: Cody Fisk

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Class: Ranger (Archetype – Not Available Until Level 15)

Level: 9

Strength: 10

Dexterity: 14

Constitution: 11

Intelligence: 8

Wisdom: 9

Charisma: 7

Luck: 5

Alignment: Not Applicable (Only available to volunteers)

Skills:

Horse Riding (Level 12)

Tracker (Level 8)

Companion Affinity (Level 1)

Focused Shot (Level 1)

Proficient Hunter (Level 1)

Master of Traps (Level 1)

Abilities:

Marked for Death (Level 1)

Silent Passage (Level 1)

Perks:

Ranged Specialisation - + 50% ranged weapon damage

Celestial Affinities: Not Applicable (Only available to volunteers)

It was the same story as Sun in terms of their world-linked affinities. They weren’t volunteers, and that kept them out of the choices of a sponsor god for successfully completing the trial. The extra ranged damage was only to be expected of a ranger, and it would come in very handy with some of the foes we faced. Horse Riding and Tracker were real-life skills gained from his profession, but the rest were new and would grow in power as we progressed. I was extremely jealous of the Companion Affinity, as it provided a buff to any pet that he chose to use. Fen was already a killing machine, and adding to that would probably mean we could sit back and chill while he did all the work. When I thought about it more, I doubted the aliens would allow it to get too out of control. Still, it was worth prioritising the skill to begin the levelling process.

I slipped Ratty into Cody’s inventory, confirming it worked for him as it had Sun.

“You ok?” asked Cris.

“Just trying something out. Nothing to worry about.”

She went back to her conversation with Sun about the technologies of our world, and I was grateful for her help. We might’ve been outside of time on our worlds, but in Osterland, the minutes were ticking down to Armageddon. Having a rudimentary understanding of some of the things she might come across would be invaluable in a pinch. I returned my own attention to Cody’s skills.

Focused Shot was a typical ranged buff that offered a single target damage boost on a rolling cooldown. The multiplier, coupled with the stealth skills, would be devastating with enough points invested.

Marked for Death was another familiar spell that affected us all when Cody tagged a particular enemy. It seemed to only work on bosses or special encounters, but it was still extra damage that made our life easier.

Proficient Hunter provided Cody with an ability to identify key weak spots of enemies. With a high enough level it would also uncover the same information on bosses. It would save us shooting a flargsnarg in the head multiple times only to discover its brain was actually in its crotch, much like myself.

Master of Traps did exactly what I expected, which was to provide a boost to any device that Cody learned to use. Given we were facing off against Tyrannosaurs and armoured Stegosaurus, I had my doubts that any of our common versions would suffice. I imagined a full sized bear trap would be little more that stepping on a Lego brick to them. Then again, that hurt like a bastard, so it could prove useful after all.

Silent Passage was a bit of an outlier, in that it provided a stealth boost on top of natural stealth, effectively making Cody a ghost if he so wished for a short duration. There was nothing about its effect on how it would work against modern technology, like infrared. Our silkweb armour was already doing a pretty good job of keeping us hidden. I thought back to my own gaming and realised that most classes had stuff that was effectively pointless to some degree.

Cris turned back to look at me. You sure you’re ok? Testing, testing.

I flinched a little and her eyes widened.

Holy shit, it works. You can hear me?

I felt around inside my head for our alien sponsor. Where’s Bart?

No idea. I’ve been wondering about a party chat, and it seems we’ve got one.

I nudged Cody. “Can you hear anything in your head? Voices, that kind of thing?”

His expression was momentarily one of utter bewilderment, then he remembered what we were. “No, why?”

“Sun?”

“Only the ringing from the noisy popping weapons,” she replied.

“Damn. Cris was trying something,” I explained. “We can talk in our heads without talking.”

“That would sure come in handy,” Cody replied.

CODY! I yelled in my head and Cris winced. Our ranger companion blinked, but showed no signs of hearing my cry. “Well, shit.”

At least we can talk privately, she conceded.

I wasn’t having any of it. Bart? Are you there?

I’m here, Mark. How are you getting on?

We’ve been kidnapped by devil worshipping gangsters. How about you?

Oh… Erm… That doesn’t sound too good. I can’t aid you, if that was what you called me for.

Bart, why can I speak to Mark in my head, but Sun and Cody can’t hear me? Cris asked.

Because they’re not volunteers. They aren’t connected to the world in the same way you are.

I looked at my two friends. They seem pretty connected, Bart. I can touch them for fuck’s sake.

Apologies. You are the only members who are active via temporal displacement. Your bodies are on your world still. The meatsack you inhabit is a copy, much like Shinara in the tutorial.

What about Sun? She’s here too.

Yes, but she is actually here. She joined you in every sense of the word, leaving her world behind.

So time is passing in her world that she can’t get back?

No, it’s the same as your own situation.

Bart, this is starting to sound like an ill thought out litRPG novel. Can you try and link them in so that we can all hear?

Leave it with me, Mark. I’ll see what I can do.

He retreated, and I was left staring at Cris, dumbfounded. At least the two of us can still chat.

As much as I love that, being able to communicate without talking in these worlds would be incredible.

Sign language? she offered with a shrug.

I gave her the middle finger, the two finger salute, and the wanker sign. That’s about the limit of mine. Oh, and this! I curled my fingers and thumbs, joining them together like a heart from the Insta pics I’d seen.

Live, laugh, love. Very romantic.

I must just be an old bastard because they look fucking ridiculous to me. Can you remember when we weren’t all narcissistic tossbags, vying over likes from people we don’t know?

Her face hardened. I use Insta, and I enjoy getting likes. It shows people care.

I grimaced and tried to desperately think of a way to backtrack. Before I could respond, her stern face crumbled and she burst out laughing.

I was kidding. Those skanks are the type to spread their legs for three bucks a month on OnlyFans.

I clenched my fist and waved it at her threateningly, my fifth successful attempt at sign language. You really had me going there! I’m going to block your arse, that way you can’t get inside my head.

Her eyes narrowed. You wouldn’t dare.

I tried finding the option, but it was absent. Well, shit. Looks like I can’t anyway. I’m stuck with you.

She made a half-hearted attempt to kick me in the shin. “Asshole.”

“Lover’s quarrel?” asked Jessop.

I think we both blushed at the same time, though I was the first to cough out a denial. “Oh, we’re not romantically involved.”

“Not at all!” Cris confirmed.

“You could’ve fooled me with the way you both keep looking at each other,” he replied.

“We don’t!” I blurted.

Both Sun and Cody added their weight to the argument with a sassy cock of their heads. All that was missing was a snap of their fingers and an mmm-hmm.

“Shut up!” I snapped. “I should’ve come alone.”

“You’d be dead,” said Sun matter-of-factly.

She had me there and I folded my arms dramatically. “It would’ve been worth it,” I huffed, trying to hide a grin. The scene outside Amir’s shop smacked me in the face, wiping the look away. Making light of the steep price was only going to give us bad karma, and we needed all the positivity we could muster. I quickly changed the subject back to the wider task at hand. “Professor, if we can get you back to your lab at the university, could you analyse the samples that we retrieved in the jungle?”

“I thought Milley had taken them when he took Liza?” asked Cody.

I conjured one of my stolen tables and pulled a face that warned them of what was coming. Pulling out part of the loot drop, a slab of yellow meat slapped onto the top, oozing a vile ichor that quickly trickled from the rim.

Cody and Cris reeled back, their chairs scraping across the floor. Sun stayed in her seat, only moving her left foot slightly to avoid the spreading drizzle of insect gore. Jessop was on his feet with a speed that belied his age. “Is that a tissue sample from one of the arachnids?”

“In the… flesh.”

I groaned inwardly at the pun. Cris groaned outwardly. Sun closed her eyes as if she was in physical pain.

“Magnificent! But now’s not the time or place. Please, whatever your magic entails, it has kept the sample pristine. Put it away so it doesn’t deteriorate.”

I did as he asked, even though I had ample meat to feed a small army. If past experience was anything to go by, I’d soon be getting a pet that required the vile filth to grow. I’d given Spidey a couple of people’s worth of human flesh, so I conceded that this was far less gruesome in the big scheme of things. We had yet to face the undead or demon world, and my mind conjured a scene of myself with a baby zombie, gnawing on a dripping, bloody arm. It was beyond my ability to work out what to feed a demon baby, but I guessed a few souls were the order of the day. I almost laughed at the ongoing absurdity, even after facing down a crazed, mech-suit wearing goblin king.

I forced myself back to the real world and asked Jessop, “Might there be anything in it that could tell us where they’re being made?”

“It’s unlikely, I’m afraid,” he replied. “But once I have it in my genome sequencer, I’ll have more of an idea. We can start to unlock whatever secrets it may hold.”

“All we have to do is overcome the Disciples and the CID,” said Cody.

“And that’s the easy part,” I replied, truthfully. They were effectively the drunken orc raiding party and the gang of rapists in the caves. A test, before the big bad came roaring from extinction to eat us all.

“Well, your plan might help with that,” said Cris.

“When do you think they’ll collect us?” asked Jessop. “I’m not saying I believe in all that mumbo-jumbo, but with all things being equal, I’d rather not chance it.”

“You’re a man of science, Professor,” I said to him. “Your job is to disprove the mystical until we can understand it better.”

“That was before you laid out your plan,” he grumbled.

A polite knocking came through the door, as if we weren’t their prisoners and totally at their mercy. “Come in, I guess!” I realised we were sitting on furniture that didn’t exist around a table that didn’t exist and frantically put it all away. Jessop was a little too slow, but Sun caught him before he could fall and break something.

Rhys and several gunmen came into the rectory lounge and looked at us each in turn. “It’s time.”

He had no idea how true that was.