y/n: your name

u/n: user name

tws: swearing, mild description of an anxiety attack

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y/n's pov *

i stirred as the morning sun filtered through the crack in my curtains and shone in my eyes, bringing the hangover that was looming over me all night long to reality as my senses came to. i flinched and placed a hand over my face, clenching my eyes shut in an attempt to block out the world that was slowly loading in around me. the throbbing in my head sounded like bass at a concert, but bit by bit it died down and i sorted out the sounds of footsteps through the ceiling, a light pitter pattering like somebody was getting ready. my limbs felt heavy and exhausted, and i tensed and relaxed my muscles to work out the post-party soreness. i could smell body odor and cologne and perfume and candles and beer and vomit and mouthwash all at the same time and i let out a groan, resenting the hangover before it had barely even started.

i fought with my blankets, feeling pinned down by the weight because of my spent body, and flopped against my mattress, almost hitting the back of my skull on my headboard because of the lack of pillow behind me. i groped at the sheets, searching for the corners of the fabric, but my fingers only met skin, warm and soft, and muscles that flexed at the touch of my cold hands. my eyes shot open for a moment before reflexively shutting at the obnoxious brightness of my room, and in that moment i caught a glimpse of bare back and scruffy blond hair tickling the area on my stomach. the blanket i had assumed i was wrapped in suddenly felt unfamiliar, and i realized it hadn't been a blanket at all, but instead clay partially draped over me, one arm hugging the pillow that had previously been supporting my neck and the other wrapped around my waist, head tucked into the crease of my torso.

"clay," i said plainly, my voice scratchy and hoarse from the burn of last night's alcohol. when he didn't budge at his name being called, i gently nudged his shoulder, which got him to sigh at the very least, so i knew he wasn't dead. "clay," i repeated.

he hummed once, burying his face into my shirt.

"clay," i repeated one final time.

he lifted his head up from where it was laying, looking around the room like he had just seen it for the first time. "wha— why are you in my bed?" he asked.

i stared at him, totally speechless.

he rubbed his eyes before running his hand across his face, inhaling deeply as he took one final look at the room around him. "why am i in your bed?" he mumbled rhetorically, rolling off my stomach to lay shoulder to shoulder beside me.

his bare arm brushed against mine only for a moment and my hair stood up on end. i didn't say anything for a minute, just kept my eyes clenched shut to block out the bright light and my body unmoving to prevent everything from spinning. after being impatient, i blurted what i was thinking. "did we do something last night? like..." i trailed off anyway.

clay whirled to look at me and laughed dryly. "wha— hook up? no, no no no—"

i flushed red having even considered that.

"i wouldn't have let that happen, don't worry." he assured. he looked across the expanse of my white walls and wooden furniture before fixing his gaze on the opened bathroom doors that showed a straight shot from his bed to mine. "i think i'm just an idiot," he said, and covered his eyes with his arm.

i laughed under my breath and stretched, rolling to escape the sunlight. "you could have at least closed the blinds when you barged in here you know."

"i couldn't even manage to get to my own bed, and you think i could've managed to do that?" he chuckled, "look! i didn't even turn out the bathroom light! the faucet is still running!"

i laughed. "what the hell even happened last night? i barely remember getting in the car, let alone the house."

"i carried you in," he said.

"oh really?"

he hummed once. "i almost dropped you coming up the stairs and you hit me in the chest. and then i'm pretty sure i puked in the toilet at some point and crashed in here."

"well that fills in exactly two percent of what i don't remember. it does explain the bad breath though," i teased, looking up at him.

he blew some air into his palm and shrugged.

"you disgust me."

"says the one who puked on the car ride home!" he countered, poking my side with his finger.

i wheezed hard, flipping so i was on my stomach and my cheek was pressed into the pillow.

he propped himself up on one elbow and the covers slipped down his torso, revealing a glimpse of the bare skin of his stomach. i looked away before the heat in my cheeks could build to be too obvious, but even though my eyes weren't on him, i could feel his on me, and suddenly i realized how disheveled i was in comparison. my hair was frizzy, my eyebags were prominent and only highlighted by my smudged makeup, and i was wearing a t-shirt with a hole in the sleeve that read "that's what i do: i fish, i drink, and i know things" in big bold lettering, which made me want to curl up in a ball and die even though i found it really funny and could tell clay was stifling laughter looking at it too. despite his persistent gaze, i didn't feel like he was judging. i just felt like he was observing. studying.

i met his eyes hesitantly at first, but they drew me in, soft in look and intense in color, and the corners of his mouth twitched into a small smile. there was something hanging in the air, words i thought might just roll of my tongue before i could reconsider them, or words i thought he was going to say as his eyes flicked down to my parted lips for what was almost an imperceivable second. the moment only lingered a beat more until the quiet of our shared easiness was broken by the cracking of my bedroom door and the loud voice of none other than nick.

"hey lazy, get up—" he shouted, interrupting himself with what was practically a scream as he looked from me to clay. "wait, you guys didn't, did you? no, there's no way, if you did i definitely would have heard it," he reasoned before either of us could protest.

"gross," i muttered, rolling my eyes.

he smiled proudly.

"what time is it?" clay asked, rubbing his eyes.

"late enough. get up. i'm bored, and george is practically dead upstairs."

"he doesn't handle hangovers well?" i asked.

"no, unlike you guys, gogy is not a seasoned partier. he's not getting out of bed today, and when he does, it's probably only going to be for coffee," nick explained, "so come out to the living room with me. i'm lonely."

i sighed. "you're like a toddler that constantly needs to be entertained."

"yeah? and what about it? get up."

"fine, fine, we're getting up. now leave us alone," clay yawned.

"okay, just don't make out too much while i'm gone—" nick started to tease, but clay promptly chucked a pillow at him as he slipped out into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

the blond haired boy sighed deeply before throwing the covers off himself and stretching to stand, raising his arms above his head and then shaking them out at his sides. he looked over his shoulder at me, and i pretended i hadn't been gawking at him for the past ten seconds. he smirked. "you getting up?"

"mmhm," i murmured back, hesitantly sliding my bare legs over the edge of the bed. i really had to be dressed in boxer shorts and a bass pro shop t-shirt of all things didn't i?

"hey," clay called, and i turned around to look at him. he tossed me a pair of sweatpants before walking through our jack-and-jill to his room.

my lips creased into a thin smile and i narrowed my eyes. "thanks."

i quickly freshened up in the bathroom, thoroughly brushing my teeth of last night's indulgences and detangling my hair before pulling it into a messy ponytail. i lazily swabbed some deodorant under my arms and swapped my fishing t-shirt for a random sweatshirt that had been tossed on my bed, not really caring about whose it was or if it was clean.

i shuffled out of my bedroom and to the kitchen, greeted by nick and clay sat on barstools, a cereal bowl sat before the blond. he looked up as i entered the room and flashed a small smile, cheeks puffed out from the amount of lucky charms he had stuffed in his mouth. his eyes traced up and down my figure for a moment and he swallowed hard. "is that my sweatshirt?"

i looked down at my chest and held out the fabric to look. it was only then that i realized it was. "uh.. only making things fair," i said unsurely, trying to save myself, "you know, you slept in my bed, so i get to wear your sweatshirt. yin and yang type thing." what the fuck was i saying?

a wry smile pulled at the edges of his lips and he looked away, shoveling another bite of cereal into his mouth.

i shook my head and then shuffled over to the coffee maker, popping out the pot to bring it over to the sink. "anyone need a pick-me-up?" i asked, trying to break the awkward tension.

"yes please," clay grumbled, resting his head in the crook of his elbow as he picked up and then dumped a scoop of cereal back in his bowl.

"oh about that," nick butted in, clearing his throat, "the coffee maker broke."

"it what?" clay and i said in unison.

"it broke. we can't make coffee." he said flatly.

i blinked. "today of all days? are you kidding me?"

"this is a nightmare," clay whined.

"what— you don't even like coffee that much, you can't complain!"

"i will literally take anything at this point, i don't care."

"well someone is just peachy this morning," nick added.

clay shot him a deathly glare, one that accentuated the dark bags under his eyes, one that told the tale of his migraine and sore muscles.

"yikes," he laughed, sliding off the barstool. "well, sorry to cut things short this morning but i'm gonna leave you guys to figure out the coffee debacle on your own." he flashed a proud smile. "i have a date that i don't want to be late for."

"a date?" i sputtered, "when did you score a date?"

"mm, i think it was about the time you tried to dance on the table that i got marina's number."

"our waitress?" clay confirmed.

"that's her."

"wait, about the time i—" i shook my head— "you know what, i don't wanna know." i leaned against the counter. "so you just chatted her up and asked her out?"

"yeah," nick said, stealing one of the marshmallows out of clay's cereal, "we were laughing at you guys getting drunk and exchanged numbers before going home, and then last night i texted her and we made plans to grab pancakes at ihop this morning."

"smooth," i assessed, nodding my head.

"i know. it's almost like when you make moves you find out if people are into you or not," he said, a very exaggerated, sarcastic tone in his voice as a smile tugged at his lips.

i narrowed my eyes, catching drift of his not-so-subtle hint as he looked from me to clay. i brushed him off. "you should get going. wouldn't want you to be late for your date."

"yeah yeah. good luck with the coffee machine."

"don't embarrass yourself!" clay called after him, and whatever response nick gave to that was muffled by the closing of the front door.

i slumped against the counter and sighed before dumping the small bit of water i had filled the coffee pot with back into the sink. "this is gonna suck worse than usual."

"the hangover or george's wrath?" clay asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"seeing as the they go hand in hand, i'd say both."

"mm, you're probably right," he mumbled through a mouthful of food before leaning over the counter to place the empty bowl in the sink. he swallowed the last bite of cereal and then cleared his throat, eyes flicking up and down my figure again. "wanna make a coffee run?"

i tilted my head. "only if you drive."

"you know i always do. it's okay though, i get it, i'm just a chauffeur you," he said, faking a sob.

"but at least you're my favorite chauffeur," i smiled, "meet you in the car. i'm gonna grab some sunglasses first."

"alright," he replied, spinning the keys on his finger and heading for the door.

i dragged my feet to my bedroom, sifting through a little jewelry dish on my dresser to untangle my only pair of sunglasses from a necklace that it had gotten caught up in. when i freed them from the chains i pushed them up the bridge of my nose and freshened up one last time in the mirror, running my fingers through my hair and pressing my cold hands under my dark eyes to try and alleviate the puffiness.

as i preened myself i felt my phone buzz in my sweatshirt— clay's sweatshirt pocket and hesitantly took out the device, typing in my passcode as notification after notification kept the screen from dimming again. i didn't want to look and yet i couldn't tear my eyes away.

against every fiber in my being hoping otherwise, the twitter drama had yet to disappear.

i dismissed the alerts as they popped up, still glimpsing the text for a brief moment even though i was swiping as fast as i could.

she's not what i thought she looked like lol

she hasn't been online i hope she's okay :((

honestly she had that coming to her i don't know what people were expecting #u/nfacereveal

my chest tightened and i wanted to throw my phone across the room. it was all too much to bear. i could feel myself slipping and yet i still couldn't stop it. i just had to let the hot tears pour. i just had to let my body rattle me until it gave out into merciful sleep. i just had to break.

but i didn't get there.

i tipped back from the edge. a notification that wasn't from twitter pulled me from my thoughts. a single text message.

i laughed dryly. clay. my idiot roommate. my impatient friend. he was sitting in the car waiting for me.

i rubbed my eyes and wiped the few tears i squeezed out onto my cheeks away, managing a small smile as i turned on my heel and headed out of my room.

when i opened the front door and skipped down the steps towards the car, clay honked the horn at me and i leapt in the air like a cat would when startled. as i glared at him i saw him double over in his seat, clutching his stomach as he peeked over the wheel at me. that dry laugh i had before turned into a loud and breathless wheeze, and i felt my worries drift to the back of my mind once again. i flipped him off and opened the car door.

"you complete and udder jackass!" i yelled, a huge smile spreading on my face as i failed to fake being angry.

i couldn't even understand what he said through his sputtering laughter, he just wiped a little tear from the corner of his eye and whipped the car in reverse.

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clay's pov *

the drive was weirdly silent. we dipped in and out of conversation, going from laughing so hard we were crying to sitting totally still and quiet. i didn't like it.

there was tension between us and i couldn't help but think that i was the cause of it. this morning brought everything into a new light and i couldn't unsee it or force my thoughts to go back to the way they were before. i woke up in her bed after a silly slipup and i didn't even care because i just liked the feeling of being close to her. of her cold hands finding the warmth of my skin. maybe that's why i had drunkenly stumbled in there in the first place.

i remembered my eyes flicking to her lips and her hot gaze on my back as i climbed out of her bed. that was what stuck. that was what was burned into my memory.

it felt like fire.

"SHE WORKED HER WAY THROUGH A CHEAP PACK OF CIGARETTES—" y/n blurted, breaking me from my thoughts as she turned up the volume of the radio and screamed the lyrics to the song that had just come on.

"jesus christ!" i laughed, fighting her with the dial as she insisted on trying to bust the speakers.

"oh hell no, you do not turn it down when kiwi comes on," she said, turning the volume back up again.

"you have the same music taste as my fourteen year old sister, you know that?" i shouted over the music, busting into laughter as i watched her drum her hands against her lap dramatically.

"and? what about it?" she replied, a playful sparkle in her eye, "i know you're not complaining about this song right now."

"hell no!" i laughed, and took a deep breath before catching up with the lyrics. "SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

"BUT I'M INTO IT! BUT I'M INTO IT! I'M KINDA INTO IT!"

and just like that the tension dissipated. the fire extinguished. i drummed my hands on the steering wheel as y/n took the guitar solo, and the rest of the car ride stayed that way, singing till our throats were sore and laughing at every off-key note, voice crack, and messed up lyric.

turning down the radio when we reached the starbucks made me feel like i had just heard silence for the first time. i shushed y/n through my wheezes as she tried to keep singing and rolled down the window to order our coffee. extra cream and sugar for me, the regular amount for george, and straight black for y/n.

"it's not even gonna taste like coffee anymore!" she teased as i took my drink and thanked the barista.

"that's exactly what i was going for," i shot back with a smile.

she rolled her eyes and blew the steam off her coffee before taking a long sip, sighing as the boost of energy settled in her system.

i followed her example but took a more hesitant sip of mine, not particularly fond of the slightly bitter undertone but reveling in the sweet creaminess that was drowning it out. i put my coffee in the cup holder and pulled out of the starbucks drive through and back onto the main drag.

"hey, wait, you were supposed to make a left there! you're going the wrong way," y/n sputtered, turning her head to look at the direction she was expecting me to go.

i smiled mischievously. "maybe we're not going home just yet."

"oh?" she questioned, "well in that case i think we need some more tunes." she leaned forward and turned up the radio again, and this time night changes was playing.

"do you only listen to one direction?" i chuckled, knowing full well that this was my favorite song by the band and nodding my head along.

"hey, this is out of my hands." she pointed at the little green shuffle button on her phone screen.

i rolled my eyes with a small smile, adjusting my grip on the wheel as i drove off to the spot i had in mind. the perfect spot.

it only took a few minutes to get there, and when i finally chugged our little rollerskate car up the steep hill i parked at the top, smiling over at y/n as she took in the view of palm trees and beaches that was painted before us.

"clay, it's.. it's beautiful," she said quietly, her eyes yet to pull away from the sight.