They say tears feel warm

When they fall from your eyes and streak down your cheeks ; but these tears

Are cold

Am I really crying or is it just

The rain I'm feeling; clear invisible prisms falling from a black sky, visible,

In the dim yellow street lamp that's flickering

They say rain feels cold

If you stand in it for too long it'll chill you straight to the bone

Maybe I'm numb

But I feel right at home

Soaked from head to toe with no feeling in either my body or my soul- I tread on

They say love feels warm

Like a closeness deep within your skin it takes hold of you

If that's so then i suppose it's love I feel when your hand strikes my cheek and your ring leaves a crimson streak

Of red saturated heat

And I guess it's love I feel when that burning takes hold of me

Throwing my fist into a wall because it's all I can do instead of bawl

But the tears feel cold

Or maybe it's just the rain I'm feeling

They say success is always achievable

How could I know what success is if I don't even own my own core

Anymore

A life of people pleasing and trying to stop all the fighting and teasing

But i don't feel the pain

Anymore

I was told crying is healthy

I was told crying is for the feeble

I've been told smiling is good for you

But all the smiles I've seen are artificial

And I've been told tears feel warm

But these only feel cold

Or maybe it's just the rain I'm feeling

And I'm not actually crying at all