I was packing my stuff to fly to England. She can't be out of my life. Not now. Not when she doesn't even know what I feel for her. "What are you doing?" Adriana and Aiden are at my place since I got home because I needed my passport and it was in Adriana's purse from the trip for whatever kind of reason.

"I'm packing my shit, what else does it look like? I need to get her back." I was packing my clothes in the suitcase, trying to get ready for my flight. "Keenan, I don't think this is such a good idea." Driana grabs my shoulder, making me stop for a moment as she turns me around and cups my cheek with her hand.

"Why the fuck not?" She notices me getting frustrated but doesn't back up. "Don't you think it'll just hurt you and her more when you go to her? What if she rejects you?"

Her hand on my cheek draws circles over it as she looks at me. "She wouldn't reject me." That's want I'm trying to convince myself of as good as possible. She told me she loved me in the letter.

"Well then what if she wouldn't reject you? How is this between you supposed to work, Keenan? How would you explain that to the people that you're dating your student?" "I don't give a single fuck about what people think about me. I would give up my career for this woman, do you understand that?"

Of course she doesn't understand. "You could land in jail for this, Keen. This isn't worth it. You'll find someone else, I know that." How could she say this? How fucking blind can she be to not see how much she means to me?

My tears are storming out for many different reasons. I shove her away from me, pick up my suitcase and throw it across the room for it to land against the mirror, what causes it to shatter and Aiden shoving me against the wall in only a matter of seconds later. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

He shouts at me, holding the collar of my shirt and shoving me even harder against the wall. "What. The fuck are you trying to do?!"

"I'm getting her back!" Aiden looks shocked from my words but changes his expression to anger fast after that. "No you're not! You leave the woman alone! Is your mind that fucked up to get her back from England only to hurt her more?!" Another shove against the wall.

"I am not letting another woman I love get out of my life! Not her."

Aiden releases me and just grabs my neck to make me look at him. "Stop being selfish for once and think about her. Don't you think she deserves someone who has been honest with her since the beginning? You have told me yourself she's been through some serious shit. Then stop this and don't put her through even more pain, Keenan. Let her be happy, man."

I thought this was what I wanted after all. Her living her life and not being held back by me. Her just enjoying the life she deserves as a young adult and maybe even falling in love with someone. But it turns out that in the end her moving on and maybe finding love is the last thing I want as selfish as it sounds.

And he is right. Did I even do one single thing to make this woman's life better and make her happy in general? "I love her, Aiden. I really fucking love her."

And with that... I break down. I completely break down. My knees give up their strength and let me fall to the ground so that I'm kneeling on the floor, looking forward to my bed.

I can still smell the scent of her on the sheets from the last time she was there a little over a week ago. I don't want this smell to fade... never.

Isn't it ironic? Both of us having something to do with psychology... while it's the two of us that really need a treatment of their own. Gianna was my treatment. And I can feel myself and watch myself falling more and more apart the longer she's not there.

"I know, Keenan... I know you do. But please think about her... or wait for her to return on her own. She will if she really loves you."

____

"So how is the room? Is it big? How are the people?"

Eliana called me today for the first time since I landed yesterday.

"I can't complain yet. The people are amazing and so is the room. It's pretty lonely without you guys tho. I already miss you."

"Oh believe me, Gigi. I miss you too. Jacob is getting such a little brat, you should hear him talking."

"You're acting like I've been gone for years, El. I left yesterday."

She always had the ability to exaggerate situations. "That doesn't matter. Anyway, Keen- ... oh shoot." Eliana cuts herself off mid sentence and curses after starting to say his name.

Her words cause me to sit up on my bed and stare straight ahead. "What is it?" "What is what?" She tries to talk herself out of this.

"You wanted to tell me something about Keenan. What is it, El?" Eliana sighs on the other side of the phone and only answers me after a moment of silence. "He came home to us today. He wanted to talk to you but dad literally almost threw him out."

My heart hurts by hearing his name... it really does. "He said he loves you, Gia." A cold feeling rushes down my spine. It feels strange. I don't know if I should believe it.

"Did mom give him the letter?" I ask her. "She did. But you're not goving him another chance, are you? Like if he really loves you he would be standing in front of your door right now. Here in England."

"I need to go now, El. I love you." I don't know what to answer. And she's right. He should be here if what he said was true. But he's not. So I'm not continuing to think about him and get to take a shower in my own bathroom.

____

Oh no....

What do you think?

Love you!!