On January 9th Emma's water broke a few minutes ago and I have been driving to the hospital. It was raining in storms and I was way over the speed limit on the busy streets.

Emma and I were fighting over our usual issues in our marriage. She was an unbelievably jealous person even tho I never gave her a reason to be. But that was always just a small flaw of hers. It didn't change my love for her in any way.

"Would you fucking stop talking about this on our way to have our baby?! I didn't flirt with her, I was just making conversation while you and Aiden talked!"

Aiden became a father one week ago to little Lizzie. Lizzie's mother left right after giving birth to her so his sister came here to help him a little. I have known Loren for a long time and always had a good friendship with her but Emma didn't feel okay with this.

Emma was in pain due to the contractions and the situation so this was probably the reason why she said what she said. "Marrying you was the worst mistake I have ever made."

We always had a happy married life. We both loved each other unconditionally and that was why her words felt like she just stabbed a knive right in my chest. So I got mad. "Then let's get fucking divorced after she is born! Nothing is stopping you!"

I haven't heard her becoming louder and louder as she told me that the red light turned red. "Keenan, it's red. Keenan! Kee-"

And after that, the only thing I heard was a loud 'whoosh' and glass shattering before everything went black for a moment. I don't know how long I have been unconscious for but it felt like a fucking eternity before I reopened my eyes and saw her.

A car crashed into her side, her whole body covered in blood. There was so much of it... "Emma." I say, unbuckle her seatbelt, get her out over the middle console and my door to lay her on the street. I feel pain in my whole body but ignore it.

"Emma, please... Help!" People are standing around us. No one is fucking doing anything. "Emma! Come on, Em. Come on! Someone fucking help me!" The ambulance arrived only minutes later.. They drove her to the hospital but I already knew that I have lost both of them as soon as I looked into her lifeless eyes..

I was on my way to a hospital to leave with everything I ever wanted in my god damn life and then really left with nothing but myself, never ending guilt and heartbreak.

_____

I have let the memory go through my mind for days. The day when Gianna found out about my past was one week ago. She hasn't come to school and she blocked my number. I thought I would give her space but in these seven days, I realized that I cannot stay away from her.

How could I be so stupid? Emma and my daughter are in the past... they will never come back. And I can't hide my feelings for this woman anymore. So I decide to not give her time. She needs to hear about what happened.

_____

Eliana opened the door, looking shocked when she saw me and tried to shut the door again but I stop her and keep the door open with my leg. "What are you doing?!" She asks. "I need to talk to her. Just let me in, Eliana!" And then I shove the door open and come into the house, not giving a single fuck that this is illegal.

"Keenan, stop it." "Get her down here or I will go upstairs." I warn her while I already make my way to the stairs when I noticed her still not moving. "Gianna's not here, Keenan." Her words make me stop and turn around to her. "What do you mean she's not here? Where the fuck is she?"

"She got the chance to finish her last year in Cambridge. She said she wasn't sure if she should go because of you. But when this happened she agrred. She flew yesterday evening." I fucked it up. I fucked up so bad. "This has to be a joke. Tell me this is a joke."

Her not answering gives me the answer I was hoping to not get. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Mr. Travino asks from the door I just entered. "Jacob, Eliana, get in your room." Mrs. Travino tells their kids. I turn around to face her husband who is boiling with rage.

"I came to see your daughter." I tell him and step closer. "You have no right to see her. Not after what you did. Not after bringing her that far so she goes to another continent! I should tell your boss about what has been going on between you and my daughter. Maybe you'll get a punishment for what you did."

"Mason." Gia's mother tries to calm him down a little bit but fails at her attempt.

The man steps even closer to me. "What is it with you guys and hurting my fucking daughter?! First Nick cracking her and you completely breaking her?! After you gained her trust?! After she was about to recover from her past? What the fuck did my daughter do to you?! Why do you think you should be here?! Huh?! What is it with you not knowing her worth and not knowing how lucky you are that she is in love with you?!"

I can hear the pain in his voice. His tears also not hide able anymore.

"I love her."

Now it's out. In front of her family and not in front of her. She should hear it. She should be the first one to hear it. "I never meant to do these things to her. You have no idea how much your daughter means to me, Mr. Travino."

"Get out before I loose it." He's not playing. Mrs. Travino is walking me to the door and hands me an envelope, giving me a kind but hurt smile before closing the door behind me. I get into my car and look at the piece of paper that is inside the envelope and read what is written inside.

____

I'm sorry I didn't tell you in person that I will be gone. I have known this for some months already but was never sure if I should go.

I told myself that I will stop whatever this is between us as soon as I was about to catch feelings for you. I fell. And I didn't stop because this with you was something that felt real. But I have a feeling that since we were on the trip something happened and it wasn't the same like it used to be.

I felt that I was about to crack and I can't let that happen again as pathetic as it souds but I can't do this one sided thing anymore. Not when I feel feelings towards you that I have never felt before and not when I know that this will never happen because of our circumstances and the thing you said that you can't give me a relationship. I know it's basically my own fault because you told me you don't date but I guess I can't turn back my feelings anymore.

Maybe you'll find a person that is able to make you fall in love again and that will show you how it is to love someone again even if it is not me. I would really hope that for you. Even tho it might not look like it but I just want you to be happy, Keenan. I hope you know that.

It was nice to make this experience with you but I guess some good things have to come to an end. I enjoyed every single second I got to spend with you.

Love,

Gia.

____

Oh baby... if you would know that I have already found that person. She's currently in England and I just finished reading her letter.

"Fuck." I mumble and get my hands into my hair and fist them. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" I scream over and over again as I release my hair and hit my fists against the steering wheel.

____

☹️☹️☹️

I'm sad

What do you think?

Love you!!