Dear definitely Greyson's diary because fuck toxic masculinity,

Dog therapy was so good. We had a weiner dog and I think she was really good at calming Drew's anxiety as well as my own. Speaking of Drew... we talked a lot and it was nice. Something about him is so soft and warm and sweet. Maybe it's his voice. He said he thought his voice was annoying or something but I can't stop thinking about it. It's so smooth and delicate as opposed to mine. At least he said that he likes my voice. It's sad to know how lonely he is and how cruel people are to him. I could never be cruel to him. If I were at his old school I'd like to have throat punched one of those guys for him. Why do I feel so deeply about this? I barely know him. I need to stop thinking about it for one minute but his eyes keep popping into my mind. What the hell is wrong with me? I think I'm broken.

Hello there future Drew,

I kind of noticed that Greyson keeps a journal and it seems manly when he does it so I figured I'd try it too. Why does everything he does feel so much more manly? He touched my knee and it felt manly. How is that even possible? He even smells manly, not that I sniffed him or anything. I don't have a thing for sniffing, I promise. Okay see? That was a weird thing to say. I’m definitely not manly. This is why I never write down my thoughts. I have bad thoughts. I keep having bad thoughts. I'm so confused. He said I am small but it fits me, and normally that would have pissed me off, but he said it in his voice and for whatever reason it made me feel warm inside and it made me want him to protect me. I can protect myself. I don't need a security guard. This is exactly why I get bullied. I just need a fucking shower.

"Knock knock Drew! Shower time is over. It's time for dinner sweety. I had them make sure none of the food was touching this time!" The doctor walked away from the shower room door, and Greyson entered for a shower and began taking his clothes off.

"Oh god, hi, I didn't see you in here. Sorry I'm just about to leave." Drew quickly threw a towel over himself and tried turning the other direction.

Greyson continued to get undressed and stood under the cold water. "To be fair, I walked in on you, not the other way around. This is also an open shower so we're allowed to be in here. Well not right now technically, but I like breaking the rules.

Greyson eyed Drew and went back to soaping himself, feeling a little flustered. He then turned to face the wall trying not to think about what was happening. That was definitely not supposed to happen.

"Uhh, ok, I'm just going to get dressed and I'll meet you at dinner." Drew grabbed his clothes and tried to carefully slip them on without exposing himself again. Greyson turned to see him slipping on his shirt and walking out the door.

Hello there again,

Ok like, I had to tell you this because the weirdest thing just happened. I was showering and Greyson came in to shower because it's open showers and that's just how it is. And he just threw his clothes off in front of me. And it was weird, but he has abs. Like really good abs. I don't really want abs, but his look good on him. But like... I just saw him completely naked and then I got confused because it felt good but it felt wrong because he's a real guy and we're supposed to be friends and this is confusing me. This is not supposed to happen in real life with real life men, but now I have a mental image that won't leave my head.

Greyson wrapped up his shower and walked up behind Drew at the table and poked him on the back. "Hey dude!"

Drew shivered and looked up at Greyson. "What shit did they prepare for you today?"

"Well kind sir, sinse you asked, they prepared a lovely frozen rib party with generic bbq sauce and what looks to be a slightly stale bun and a side of over chewy salted asparagus. What about you, and why do you get a divider plate and I don't?" Drew laughed at Greyson’s dopey expression.

"I don't like my food to touch. It ruins the other food. I got some plain chicken nuggets with some unsalted fries and some strawberries." Drew bit into a strawberry.

"Oh wow. That sounds entirely bland, why would they do that?" Greyson appeared underwhelmed.

Drew giggled. "Don't worry, I asked for it that way. My diet is that of a five year old child. It's one of those sensory issues. I don't like a lot of flavors or textures so it makes it hard to find variety."

Greyson smiled. "Hey there's nothing wrong with that. It explains why you're so small. Here, drink this milk. It's supposed to make your bones grow." Greyson slid his milk over to Drew.

Drew grabbed the milk and slid it back, laughing. "Are you trying to tell me that I need to get bigger? I think I'm about done growing. Thank you very much. My dad is 5'6" and my mom is 5'1" I think if anything I got lucky to be 5'6" like my dad. Perhaps you think 5'7" would be better?"

"Try 6'2" I can probably pick you up and throw you over my shoulder. But that's ok, you're fun sized, you know, like a milky way. Ignore how that sounded. I'm going to eat my sandwich." Greyson kneed the table in embarrassment.

Drew chose to ignore the unintended sexual comment for his own sanity. "You're so tall. And you played football right? That must mean that you have a girlfriend. Or at least you have a lot of girls, if you know what I mean."

Greyson cringed. "Yeah, not so much. I've always been a lone wolf. There aren't really any girls at my school that have caught my eye so far. Surely the ladies dig on you though. How could they not, you're cute. They seem to really like soft guys now, which would make you a prime catch."

Drew blushed and swallowed his chicken nugget. "Uh, well, not exactly. I don't really have any girls. Guess I just kinda forgot that people do that stuff."

Greyson raised an eyebrow and attempted to chew on a piece of asparagus. "So, what do you do outside of school besides not a bunch of ladies like I had expected?"

Drew almost choked on a strawberry. "Umm, well, I do art. And I have a garden. That is basically just lavender and a few bell pepper plants. And this is going to sound super not manly at all and very embarrassing, but I do cheer at my highschool. Don't make me regret telling you that."

Greyson's face lit up and he sat up in his seat, "You mean to tell me, that you've been a cheerleader this entire time, and are just now telling me?! That's awesome. You better show me some of those cheers sometime. Nothing unmanly about a male cheerleader. I wish we had some at our school as well. I don't know why I'm so surprised. You look like you'd make a good cheerleader. Maybe I'd been more motivated if the cheerleaders at our school were as nice as you."

"No joke. I wish the cheerleaders at my school were nice too. They aren't though and neither are the football players. One of them went up to me after a game and said, 'aww pants? Where's your skirt at? Usually comes with the territory'. It scared me. I actually believed that this school would be different." Drew looked down.

"What does he have against skirts, they look good. Skirt hater. Pants look good too. Personally I'd prefer to wear pants. But like, you'd probably look good in.... ok that was one of those thoughts that was supposed to stay in my head that I should not have had. Please standby while I give myself a frontal lobotomy."

Drew laughed until he squeaked. "Oh, really? My gangly ass legs, in a skirt? My self confidence is not good enough for skin."

Greyson giggled and gave Drew a poke on the arm. "So what you're saying is that if you had more self confidence you'd probably wear a cheer skirt instead of pants?"

Drew smiled awkwardly and fingered the unsalted fries. "Um... uh... well, I,"

Greyson noticed that Drew was flustered and looked him in the eyes. "Hey, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I was just teasing you. I think you should be able to wear whatever you want and those guys can fuck off. If you want to wear a cheer skirt, I'll personally come to a game just to cheer for you. I'll be like a cheerleader but specifically just to motivate the other cheerleaders. Screw them. Don't let people hold you back. Not all men have to be really masculine. We were all made to be different and special."

Drew blushed. "I don't think I've ever had another guy, especially a football player, tell me that they wouldn't be creeped out if I wore a skirt."

"Hey, what's there to be creeped out about. The fact that they're thinking so far into it is what's creepy." Greyson tapped on his thinking cap.

"Huh, I suppose you're right. Since we're friends now, I figured I'd give you my number since you haven't asked for it yet. My snap chat is on there as well." Drew slid a piece of paper over to Greyson written in lavender crayon.

Greyson immediately tore the paper in half and grabbed the crayon off Drew's tray. "Here I'll give you my contact info as well. I should have asked earlier, I just didn't want to look creepy."

"How else are we supposed to find each other you dork?"

"Ok I see your point."

"Yeah, uh, do you wanna color with me before bedtime?" Drew smiled innocently. Ugh, if only he knew what his face was doing to Greyson on the inside.

Greyson grabbed the box of stubby crayons from the edge of the table and walked around to sit by Drew. "Alright cool. Show me how to draw something nice." Greyson handed him the lavender crayon.

Drew Grabbed the crayon and began outlining. "So, what are you drawing me?"

"You'll just have to wait. Here draw me something. It doesn't have to be good. But make it gray." Drew handed him the gray crayon.

Greyson stared at his half of the napkin for 30 seconds before beginning to scribble out a picture slightly resembling that of a small toddler.

"Wanna trade now?" They swapped napkins and flipped them over.

"Oh wow. Oh that's adorable." Drew drew Greyson a Penguin belly sliding in a bouquet of lavender.

"Yours is… somethin' too. I like bunnies... I think that's a bunny?" Drew laughed nervously.

Greyson chuckled and poked Drew's arm. "Hey rude! I drew you a cute little bunny and you think it's ugly. It's definitely not your penguin, but it's the thought that counts."

Drew rolled his eyes and knocked twice on the table. "You're right it's a cute bunny, I was just so busy admiring it I forgot to be nice." Greyson smirked at Drew’s sudden sass.