"I wouldn't have...even given Micah the time of day. He would've rotted in there for all I cared...if he was my brother who did such things to me."

I hear Worth chuckle, confusing me.

"It's not funny."

"I know, I just...he's all of my family I have left. Biologically, at least." He smiles awkwardly, gripping the steering wheel. "It's a good thing I'm not you then. I just don't want to regret anything. I don't want to regret...having not given him another chance-."

"When it comes to someone like him who took so many things and moments from you for his selfish reasons...he doesn't deserve even a first chance." I snap, becoming more angry the more I thought on it.

I saw Worth thinking on it too, only to shake his head as he tightens his lips together.

"I just can't...let myself get lost in that thought. What he's done to me...the time I wasted in there - I can't focus on that. There is literally nobody else in relation to me that I know of. It's just his stupid ass and I can't change that shit! I can't lose him too... I already lost it all in terms of what I know to be. I got you back, and then something is taken soon after-."

"A bad thing was taken." I remind him, shaking my head at the thought of Micah possibly being back in his life. "I hope...he rots in there."

"I don't." Worth looked at me with shock, frowning as he looks back forward. "I...I wanted you to let me drive back since I'm trying for my license, but I don't think I can drive back. I don't think I could concentrate,"

I sigh, not moving from the passenger seat as he just looks on blankly. The prison that Micah was now in right behind us. It was awkward...just a little bit.

Awkward because he was once there and now he's out. It's great that Micah's ass is in there, but it should've been in there from day one.

"Just try it. If you are really certain just drive off to the side of the road and we'll easily switch. Until then, just go on ahead. I'm tired of being in this area." I tell him and he nods.

Now he begins to start the car, driving off and away from the prison. I look into the side mirror, watching it get farther and farther away. My eyes moving back onto Worth who was frowning again.

"What?" I speak up.

"I'm just...stuck. Are you...pregnant?"

I flinch, frowning as to why he'd ask me that.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Because it's been a few weeks and you never looked. I just want to forget about Micah and think about something else. Did you ever check or you just know you're not pregnant?" He asks quickly, accelerating some on the road.

I tap his arm for him to calm down, and he takes a deep breath. Slowly easing up on the accelerator as he waited.

"I never checked, I'll be honest; but I can." I say to him and he nods quickly. "Okay then, I will check for you. It's a little...weird to think about though. Me going to the doctor not for myself, but to check if I'm possibly pregnant..."

I smile at him, seeing him smile shyly as he nods.

"But, say I'm not pregnant," I put out a feeler to see what he'd say, "What then-?"

"We have sex until I get your pregnant, simple. I must have a baby with you, I want to have a baby with you. To raise them better than I ever was...I want to rest in the assurance that I can do better and give them better. More than what I ever had..." Worth spoke up really fast, his lips tightening together. "Sorry..."

"Don't apologize." I snicker, leaning over as I lay my head on his shoulder for a hot second. "I just hope you aren't going to try and use having a child as a way to distract yourself."

Worth didn't look at me for a bit, but he did end up shaking his head no.

"I...would never. I have wanted this with you ever since I laid my eyes upon you in high school. You were everything I could ever want, you had everything I could ever want. What you had, I lacked; but that didn't have me hating you or envying you. It made me want you more, so this child isn't a way to give me some kind of purpose, it's more than that." Worth glanced over at me, and I nod in understanding. "I thought you wouldn't like my words."

"I'm just listening." I remind him.

"Yeah..."

Now it was silent, and I didn't know what to say now. We had to be realistic though.

With the crimes that Micah was in, even if he got the best lawyer in this country, he's getting a long chunk of time. He murdered people even and had his brother take his place because he was too much of a coward to turn himself in. That makes for headlines and everyone knows.

I don't know how they'll find a jury who hasn't heard about what transpired yet. Everyone and the system failed Worth. The more stuff that is exposed, the less it looks good for Micah.

I'm happy about that though. If anyone isn't happy about it, it's probably Worth.

It's bad of me...that I want him to be vengeful. Be angry at Micah and try against him, easy. I would try against him with no hesitation and can't wait for when that time comes. Though the best person who can really try against him...most likely will testify for him if things keep on this way.

I can't have Worth do that for Micah.

"Listen, I just think you should be wise on what you do or say. When it pertains to Micah, you become different. Like this uncanny soft spot you hold for him, unfortunately. We have to break you out of that cycle of feeling like you owe that monster something, like you need to protect him. He's a grown man, he made his stupid ass choices, time to suffer the consequences." I tell him.

"I get that bit, you don't have to keep saying it." Worth sighs, shaking his head. "I know I have some stupid soft spot for him, but it's like what I said. It's because he was all I had-."

"Why don't we look for you parents?" I just interrupt.

Worth's hands tighten on the steering wheel and I did become quite anxious. I don't think he's do anything reckless, but still.

"You say things like that like it's the easiest thing to do. You won't be able to find them, I'm certain of it. They did messed up shit like Micah did, that's why he went into it in the first place. He was hoping to find our parents because it was supposedly verbatim that they were figureheads in some big gangs. In his search for them, he fell into that fucked up lifestyle. That's why I'm torn because he didn't go into that with the intention to do bad things. He went in looking for our parents, and they corrupted him." Worth explains confidently. "Even had him being mean towards me, but that wasn't always him."

I didn't believe what came out his mouth, ever.

Not that I think he's lying, I just couldn't believe the point he was allowing it to get to. All of the excuses he seems to have lined up for that bitch.

"Well, no matter what you say, he chose to fall into that path. He chose to do all of this and do the wrong shit he did. Just because he was in those bad situations doesn't mean anything. You were in jail, literally around the worst of the worst, and you never went that route. He has no excuse." I explain to him confidently.

"Not everyone...is like-."

"Don't give him an excuse, no more excuses for him!" I exclaim in annoyance. "Just...stop for a second. I'm tired of hearing your excuses for him, you gotta break out of that cycle of protecting him. You're not in jail anymore for him, so now you're trying to protect him in word somehow. I suggest...you really think long and hard about it all with him."

Worth locked his eyes on the road, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. I could tell he was still having a hard time understanding. No...

I think he did understand, it just wasn't truly resonating with him though.

Looking for his parents...I was interested in that. I want to look for his parents and be able to possibly figure that out.

If his parents are supposedly a part of that lifestyle, I worry it'll be a pointless cause. Because what if they try to manipulate him just like Micah did?

A user and an abuser can see a victim so easily. They can see the traits in someone who has been victimized quite easily and they will prey upon it. I'm afraid...his parents would do the same if they happen to be just like Micah.

I hoped...me possibly looking for them wouldn't be something I regretted. If I was to find them, and they have a bad wrap sheet, I probably won't say I found them.

It's not really my right to do that but...I care too much about him for him to be abused like that again. What if...they're even worse than Micah?

I already know if he sees his parents - because he never has before - he will probably latch onto them. He already latches onto things that bring him happiness and give him what he's craving.

He craves love and acceptance; and I know he'll do anything for the person he wants to obtain it from. Even if that person is a bitch, like Micah.

"You've had all the love you could ever need as a single child, and I obtained nothing. The love I 'obtained' was contrived and fake. I don't even know what real love really is and I tend to...want to preserve what I know love to be. Love came in bits, a prize for the deeds I did for others-."

"But it doesn't have to be that way, and it isn't normally that way. Obtaining love like that...isn't real love. You shouldn't have to do something to earn love." I remind him without any hesitation.

"I know that now, but-."

"No buts." I interrupt in shock, wondering how he can still question such a thing. "No buts, please...just listen to me."

"I'm trying..." He whimpers, and I look at him in worry. I saw his lips tightening together until out of nowhere, he swerved off to the side.

I cry out in shock as he stops on the side, his head resting on the steering wheel.

"I can't...be the one to drive, I can't do this." Worth breathes out, getting out of the car and I just sat there. Soon seeing my door open and he's standing there. He looks at me apologetically almost, shaking his head. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all." I get out, going to the drivers side as I sit where he once sat. Looking over at him, I saw how distraught he looked.

Clearly having a hard time accepting still, which it won't just be instantly understood. Especially if that was his life for...all of his days of living. Though I wish he could see he deserves much more than that. Even despite the deeds that were done in that prison.

As I begin to drive now, I could see him fidgeting some. Almost like he was having anxiety of some sort.

I'd glance over occasionally and he'd just force those movements away or cleverly do something to make it look normal. I know I should've been paying attention to the road, but I noticed it all.

Visiting his brother...was a idea.

Though I know me probably saying all of this all at once wasn't helping either. I just wish...

It doesn't matter what I wish if he is struggling in the process of it all.

...with me looking to see if I'm pregnant...I hope that eases his anxieties. Though I worry I might not be because I haven't felt any different.

For once...I hope I'm wrong.

Glancing over at Worth, I saw him have his eyes closed. Hands clenched into fists on his thighs as he breathed in deeply, and exhaled just as so.

...I really hope so, that I'm wrong.

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