Melissa might not have left me physically beaten and bruised, but my soul is surely a few shades of purple. I had stared at the knives in the case until the wee hours of the night, contemplating if living was actually worth it.

I still haven't decided the answer.

To say I look like crap is a severe understatement. The bags under my eyes add years to my age and my skin has an unhealthy hue to it. I look as bad as I feel.

I always dread going to school, but today will be like nails on a chalkboard. My school work is piling up and impeding pressures of adulthood lurk in the distance with senior year progressing. Our teachers have been planting the seed of college and career choices since freshman year but it has been even more emphasized as senior year goes on. I've barely been keeping my head above water as I prepare for exams and meander through loads of assignments.

All this work towards a future I don't even want.

Staying on top of my academics wouldn't be hard if I didn't also have to deal with all the other stressful aspects of my life, but you don't get a free pass just because you're tired.

I sigh deeply, adjusting Faith in her carrier on my way to drop her off at the daycare. She is making happy baby sounds, excited about her daily walk. I bop her nose, smiling to myself when she crinkles it at me. Moments like these are what keep me going.

Just me and her against the world.

As I expect, school is a nightmare. Like usual, Alice is an excessive bully. Her friends are even worse and my headache won't go away. It's an exhausting day. I can't even be happy school is over because I have a shift at the bookstore. Usually, I don't dread work so much, but today I just need a break.

Faith feels heavier than usual. It's tiring carrying her on my back as I dust the shelves. I always feel guilty when Suki or Jane would offer to babysit while I work but I deeply hope one of them would. Of course, both are away for the week so their niece is covering the store.

The one time I really need a break.

To make matters worse, Faith is fussy. She keeps tugging my hair and whining when I try to tuck it under my beanie. I give up and decide to let her pull the loose tendrils.

The ding of the bell alerts me that someone has entered so I make myself scarce. Students from school come here sometimes and I am worried about running into one of my tormentors. Although I highly doubt that Alice even reads.

Better safe than sorry.

"Blade," Emily pops her head in the supply room where I'm organizing stock. She knows my M.O when customers come in. "Someone is looking for you," she lowers her voice and smiles slyly. "He's kinda cute."

Who on earth would be looking for me?

I tentatively step from inside the supply closet, relieved when I see no one besides Emily.

"He's that way," she nods her head towards the direction of the window seats, and my stomach tenses again.

I'm surprised to see Dustin sitting at the table with his eyes trained outside. Seeming to sense my presence, he turns to me.

"Hi, Blade." I stand still, hoping maybe I'd disappear if I don't move. Faith stops pulling my hair, seeming more focused on the boy in front of me.

He gives a mischievous smile, standing up from his seat. "I'm looking for a book called A Thousand Splendid Suns. Do you have it?"

I remain in the same position, my brain taking a few seconds to process. I jolt out of my reverie, abruptly turning around and moseying through the store. I emerge several moments later holding his requested book.

"Thank you." He signs the words as he speaks and I force my lips to not quirk up in a smile. "I'll see you around, Blade."

I ignore the sly look Emily gives me as she shuffles behind the counter. I continue my tasks at hand, my mind now occupied by the actions of a certain curly haired boy.

****