dear journal,

i finally found out why those guys were beating up yeonjun a while back. god.

they'd seen him put the note into my locker. now, they'd seen us kiss at school.

this time i was the one to receive the beating. they punched and kicked me until i stopped moving, by then i was unconscious. when i woke up i was in the nurse's office, and i was just happy it had been me and not yeonjun.

later that night, yeonjun slept over at my house.

we laid together on my roof, staring up at the night sky. my whole body hurt, but having him there helped numb the pain.

i cried for the first time in front of him. they'd called me a faggot. he told me only ugly people used ugly words like that.

with his face covered in moonlight, i knew he was telling me the truth. i'd never heard a word like that fall from his beautiful lips. and i never would.

for the first time that night, he told me he loved me out loud. all three words. i love you.

i couldn't stop crying to say it back. i don't think he expected me to.

- soobin