You know that feeling you get when you lose your phone or when you get grounded for a month, The heart attack, stomach dropping, disastrous feeling? That's what I felt walking into the hospital at three in the morning with almost seven people who were all bursting into tears in the waiting room.

Not to mention halfway through the car ride I realized Xavier's dad spent the night...

No one really told me much, only because no one really knew what happened. His mom just said she got a call from the hospital saying Damien had been in a car accident and was severely injured.

I was refusing to believe severely injured meant dying, but everyone else was taking it that way. A doctor had come out to tell us he was in surgery but I'm not a doctor and I didn't understand half a word that fell from his mouth. Not to mention he had blood covering his white coat that made me almost leave immediately.

I wasn't going to leave because of the coat or the fact things might have gone wrong with us. That didn't mean I didn't want to see him again. It didn't mean I didn't want to see his green eyes anymore because I did.

Not only did the doctor come out once, but three times while I paced the floor to talk to his family.

"You're creating a draft kid." I heard Xavier call, making me glance over to him. Yeah maybe I was, but a draft felt better than awkward tension and the smell of death lingering everywhere.

"I wanna go see him-"

"Well, you can't."

"Well no shit Sherlock, I kinda figured that one out," I mumbled getting a small smile from Xavier. He stood up, holding an arm out for me. I don't know why I felt numb.

My body moved to hug Xavier and I felt my emotions rising to the surface as a tear started to fall. Maybe it was because his mom burst out into tears in front of the doctor and I felt a piece of my heartbreak.

Maybe it was because I haven't had a good hug in a long time. But mostly it might have been the fact that he was dying and the last thing I said to him was that I was far from loving him and that wasn't true.

I loved him. I know, loving someone this young is considered dumb but it wasn't to me. He was my best friend and that night when he kissed Kyla I felt alone. I felt my heart break because I did love him. I loved how he smiled and said dumb things. I loved when he watched soaps with my mom and was sweet. I loved his eyes and his flirting that embarrassed me to the core.

Ashley and Alex had found their way down to the hospital. Them both bringing food and drinks for everyone. I was the only one that couldn't eat right now. Damien's mom was a nervous wreck considering the fact she ate seven chocolate bars and yelled at his dad for ten minutes about how he shouldn't have let him go.

I felt more responsible than anyone. I felt so responsible I thought I was going to vomit just thinking about it.

"Mrs. Carter?" A voice erupted from behind me, making me swivel quickly to look at the doctor. Damien's mom quickly stood up and walked over to me, grabbing my hand for support as she stood in front of the doctor.

I knew I needed to be supportive but I didn't want to hear anything he was about to say. I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and yell like a child so more than I wanted to hear the doctor.

"Are you okay letting her know the patients' information?" He started getting a desperate head nod from his mom. The doctor gave me a glance before nodding his head at me.

"Well, the hardest part is over, he made it through surgery. With that being said he is still in critical condition and to make sure he isn't overusing any organs or tissue that is damaged we've put him in a medically induced coma." He started, taking a breath while I held mine. Damien's mom was squeezing my hand so tightly I thought my fingers were going to snap.

"Now, it's up to him if he wants to recover or not. Oh- and Mrs. Carter, you should keep an eye on him when he gets home, his alcohol level was three times past the normal limit. He's lucky he didn't kill anyone." The doctor stated before giving a warm smile and walking away.

"When can we see him?" I called, getting the doctor to stop and turn swiftly, his small smile was sad as he looked at me.

"Maybe tomorrow, just to be safe." He said gently getting me to nod my head as Damien's mom let go of my hand and let out a sigh.

I attempted to make my way back to the chair, plopping down with a heavy sigh beside Xavier who gave me a sincere smile.

"At least he is alive" He whispered making me shrug only because I didn't want to talk. It wasn't that I was super mad that he was alive, it was because we didn't know how long that would last.

"He's stupid that's what he is." I heard his dad call a few chairs over from me. I understand you're supposed to respect your elders but I gave him the biggest glare I could muster up.

"Stupid is not knowing your son was drunk." I countered getting a glare from him before I faced away and attempted to relax in the chair. I heard a string of grumbles come from his dad but I chose to ignore it.

I turned back to Xavier who was trying his best to lighten the mood. "Thea," he called, his face awkwardly scrunching up at the subject he was about to talk about.

"Hm?" I let out a small laugh, watching him give me a genuine smile.

"Did you see my dad?" He asked awkwardly, his eyes going wide as a small smile pull over his clear skin.

I thought back to the moment my mom was attempting to shove a tired man into the car.

"You don't think he- um," Xavier tried to talk leaving me with a small smile on my face.

"Oh yeah, they are a thing," I called getting a wide eye from Xavier as he slowly turned toward his father. His mind racing with the new thought of a family.

I didn't mind him turning away, I was focused on the fact that the person I wanted to see in this room wasn't here, he was in there. In there with a slim probability of being the same or even making it through the night. Yes, I might be overreacting but I've heard this all before with my brother, with myself, and with my dad.

My dad was long gone and they still told me he would be fine and I needed to relax.

With him in there I can't relax, I can't even focus on anything but the door to see if the doctor is going to come out and say something else.

Maybe he will be okay, maybe he will just wake up and everything works again. Maybe I'll cry and try to crawl into his arms and everything will be how it was again.

Maybe, just maybe, I would get to see his goofy grin and bright eyes that will make me feel like home again...