I woke up in the middle of the night, it was Saturday and there were no classes today, and I was extremely grateful. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about last night, the way Devon’s ribs were so visible… 

I knew immediately it wasn’t normal. 

I wanted to ask her straight up, but then again she could always lie to me and say she was sick and didn’t want to eat. If she didn’t feel comfortable telling me she would refuse, I had seen that already with the fight with Rachel.

Which by the way I still had no idea what went down that night between them.

What if she would never tell me? What if I would have to go looking for the answer my self? Where would I actually find it?

Devon’s parents? Friends?

I was at a dead end again, and I was worried for Devon, if she had depression problems… I needed to know. I needed to find her help if I wasn’t enough… 

The last thing I wanted was for something to happen to her. 

Devon stirred in her bed and I smiled, she was facing me but her eyes were still closed. She looked so damn peaceful, at night it took me awhile to fall asleep sometimes… I knew Devon did to because she stirred constantly. 

I wanted to wake her, I wanted to see her beautiful eyes, her smile…

But instead I dozed off once again. 

~O~

I was running, running somewhere, I just didn’t know where. It looked as if I was running into nothing, complete blackness… there was nothing beyond me, behind me, on the sides… it was as if I was going nowhere. 

What was I running from? Pain? Love? Regret? The truth?

Then I was in a car, truck to be exact. When did I get in here?

The yellow lines in the middle of the street, we weren’t on our side, I wasn’t’ driving but I couldn’t see who was. 

There was no one driving. 

I was sitting in the passenger seat, no seatbelt… then that’s when I looked back up at the street, completely petrified. 

Everything happened entirely to fast, I just saw headlights coming straight for us, me screaming.

I couldn’t breathe, and then I started to panic.

~O~

“Amanda? Amanda! Wake up!”

I was being shaken away, I was startled, sweating, and choking for air. I looked up at Devon, she looked frazzled, I must’ve woken her with my screams. She sat on my bed, “You ok?”

I nodded, “Bad dream.”

“About?”

“A car wreck…”

It could’ve been a nightmare referring back to the night me and Nelson had gotten into a car wreck but there was something different with this dream. 

Me and Nelson had stayed on our side of the road, and I was wearing my seatbelt. It just happened to break. 

In this dream, it was completely different.

Devon pulled up my covers and joined me in my bed, “Um, what are you doing?”

She laid next to me, “I’m laying with you, it helps with the nightmares I swear… Rachel always comforted me when I had them. Turn over.”

I complied with her request, and I felt her arms wrap around me, pulling my body into hers. I stuttered, “U-Uh… what exactly-”

“Ssh, go to sleep.”

I felt her warmth wrap around me like a blanket, I definitely didn’t expect her to do this. I liked her holding me, it felt so safe and warm, like nothing could touch me as long as she was wrapped around me. I felt her warm breath on the back of my neck, causing me to shiver. 

I swear I could stay like this forever. 

So her and Rachel actually slept like this? I had never heard of this. Me and Hali had a ton of sleepovers and not once did she frikkin spoon me in the middle of the night when I had a bad dream. 

There was something that used to be off about Rachel and Devon, and I wanted to find out. 

***

I was awake, the sun shining into our room. I felt Devon’s heat wrapped around me, I smiled, I could get used to this. 

Imagining her and Rachel sleeping like this… well it was certainly odd. Was something going on between them? Were they more then just best friends? 

Because best friends definitely didn’t sleep like that.

I felt Devon stir and I scooted away from her so I could turn and get a good look at her. I wanted to watch her sleep but that would be extremely creepy. She was just so damn cute when she slept! She looked happy and completely at ease… 

Nothing like during the day. 

She yawned, and I knew she was awake, “Morning.”

She smiled, “Morning. Slept good?”

I nodded, I really had since she was wrapped around me. I was so warm and peaceful, I wanted to stay like that forever, “You said you and Rachel slept like that?”

She shrugged, “Once or twice when we would have a bad dream… I don’t know. I know it sounds weird but… we were just really close.”

I waited for her to continue talking about Rachel, because she usually did, but she didn’t. I wanted to know so much about their friendship, about Rachel, and about everything that changed after Rachel was gone. I wanted to know everything… but I couldn’t bring myself to ask them.

“You’re thinking about something, aren’t you?”

I nodded, “I just… I don’t understand some things. You and Rachel were really close, but you refuse to tell me certain things about her. Like the night of the accident… Why?”

She looked down, getting up from the bed and sighing, “Because Amanda, that’s personal… and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.”

I stood with her, “Devon, I’m not going to judge you…” I felt her tiny arms in mine, yes, she had definitely been losing weight. 

It looked as if she had read my mind and she pulled away from me slowly, “Let’s do something today.”

I tilted my head, “Like?”

She shrugged, “Anything to get out of this room.”

I smiled, “You can never go wrong with shopping.”

“It’s like you read my mind.”

I smiled, “Then let’s get dressed.”

We continued to throw on clothes and get ready for our day, I was excited, I loved having alone time with Devon. Just her and I… I could really understand and get to know her, plus I could keep an eye on what she ate. 

I wanted to ask her, but I was scared.