I slipped out from between her arms and she smiled wickedly, waving at me, “Bye sexy.”

I closed my eyes tightly as opened them, trying to calm my heart rate down. This girl… she was crazy! She liked a challenge?! Are you kidding me? Was that just her way of reeling me in more? I didn’t want her though!

I wanted Devon.

I walked back into the lounge, immediately spotting Devon and Emerson sitting at a table, when she saw me she stood. 

I rolled my eyes, turning the other way and heading towards the back to help take down everything. I was pissed, why did she even bother to come the last fucking 15 minutes? She should’ve just never showed up at all…

And I really wanted to tell her that.

She hurt me, I wanted her support for this, just like I had given her support over the month about Rachel, and she of course blew me off for Emerson?

I found Trevor and he handed me 500 dollars cash, “Here’s your cut for tonight, but we didn’t have that many people show…”

I studied the money, completely dumbfounded, “Just 500?”

He shrugged, “By the looks of tonight, I think you might reel in more people for us… you’re welcome to play with us anytime. You totally blew them away.”

I smiled, “All because of you.”

He hugged me, and I smiled, “Thanks Amanda, you’re… amazing.”

I smiled, the I felt a tap on my shoulder. I was face to face with Devon, Emerson was nowhere to be seen and my eyes traveled to the window on the far side of the room. 

And Samantha’s face was there, glaring at me, Devon, and Trevor.

I felt my heart jump to my throat, and I pulled my eyes away from hers to Devon’s, “Hey… you haven’t said a word to me since we got here…”

I rolled my eyes, “You got here like 20 minutes ago, after I was finished singing.”

She looked up at me, she knew I was hurt and she felt bad, but it didn’t deafen the fact that I felt screwed over. 

“I’m sorry… me and Emerson-”

“Yea I don’t wanna hear it… it’s not a big deal.”

I pushed past her, heading toward Trevor, “Hey I think I’m gonna be heading home, see you tomorrow?”

He nodded, moving in and hugging me, “Thanks again Amanda, see you.”

I was out the door in seconds, my eyes darting around looking for any sign of Samantha. She was weird, creepy… but sexy.

Before I climbed into my cart I felt a tiny hand grab my arm, I looked up to Devon’s ice blue eyes. “Why are you ignoring me?”

I shrugged, “Because you came with Emerson, I’m sure you’re gonna leave with him to.”

She dropped her hand, “He left.”

So he left her here? What a dick. I sighed, feeling a little bad for the way I was treating her, “Get in.”

She climbed into the passenger seat quickly and I started down the road. I didn’t want to talk to her but then I did, I wanted to know what her and Emerson had done, but I was to upset that she barely even got to see me tonight. 

The one time I wanted her support she didn’t show. 

I knew she was glancing at me, she was uncomfortable in this silence. The tension in this car was at its maximum high but to be honest… I didn’t really care. 

Even though it was killing me not to hear her voice. 

I had never told her about that night in the shower when Samantha felt me up, and I never told her about all the times Samantha kept trying… I was afraid she was going to think I was allowing it. 

I mean I told Samantha time after time that I didn’t want her, but like she said tonight… she liked a challenge. 

It freaked me out big time when she said that, and I didn’t know if it was a trap to make me just give in, or if she really was like that. I couldn’t ask Devon for help and she was pretty much the only one who knew Samantha, so I was at a dead end. 

I climbed out the car and slammed my door, Devon doing the same as we started toward our room. Devon spoke, “Please talk to me.”

I sighed, “What? I’m just thinking…?”

She looked at me, stopping me from opening our dorm door, “The reason I showed up late… is because I was afraid.”

I tilted my head, “Afraid of what?”

“You.”

This didn’t make sense at all… I shook my head, “Afraid of me? Devon you’re not making any sense.”

“I was afraid that if I saw you standing up there, singing, I would be taken back to when Rachel did the exact same thing. The last thing I want to do is break down in front of a fifty people…”

“Devon, you’ve seen me play countless times…”

She nodded, “And it’s difficult every single time, Amanda…”

I felt bad, she was still hurting over Rachel, and I really couldn’t blame her for that, “So do you want me to stop? Cause I will…”

She shook her head, “No, please don’t… I love hearing you play. It’s just… you remind me so much of Rachel… and I miss her so much it hurts me physically every single day…”

She was about to cry but I pulled her into a tight hug, stopping the tears before they spilled. I didn’t know what to say, there was nothing I could anyway… she was still grieving, and there was obviously some unfinished business between her and Rachel that could never have the chance of being resolved. 

That was eating her alive. 

She pulled back, looking up at me, smiling that amazing smile I fell for so long ago. I pulled away even though I didn’t want to and I unlocked the door, letting us both inside. 

When she told she missed Rachel… and it hurt her… well it made me sad. Really sad. And I wanted to kiss her right then and there when she told me. I wanted to take away all of her pain, I wanted to be Rachel just to make her happy again. 

I started to change into sweats and a loose T, I slipped my pants on and I caught Devon looking at me as I slipped my shirt over my head. Her eyes lingered on me for a second, and they pulled away immediately, and I smiled. 

Hmm, she was checking me out?

I threw myself on my bed and watched Devon silently, she had the perfect petite body. She wasn’t a midget, but she was shorter then me. Her blonde waves falling down and over her shoulders, spilling to her mid back. 

I couldn’t see her boobs, but she looked thinner… even me just looking at her back I could see that. 

Her rib cage was visible, and mine was to, so I couldn’t mark that as a red flag but…they were obviously more visible then mine. 

I spoke, “Devon what did you eat today?”

She climbed into her bed, “Um… when me and Emerson went eat we I had a grilled chicken salad, why?”

“That’s it?”

She nodded slowly, unsure of her answer, and I nodded, laying my head back down onto my pillow. 

Did Devon have an eating disorder that I didn’t know about? Was she starving herself? Making herself sick when I wasn’t around?

Was it because of her depression? Is that why she looked a lot thinner then the last time I saw her naked?

And if she did have a problem… How was I going to fix it?