Matured content ahead

I thought you were different.

You swore you were and I loved you.

But what happened?

You hurt me, just like he did.

Without any mercy.

How could you?

You promised me you were different.

Tears of pain running down your cheeks as you could hold the heartbreak no longer every time you recalled what happened between you and Mark four days ago. You looked yourself through the mirror. Purple welts were scattered under your eyes. Obviously can be seen from afar.

His hand hit and you fell with the force of it. The first slap you ever got from him had been the worst. You hadn't expected him to be so strong but there was weight and strength enough to stun. Though his hand was empty, it was like being hit with a hunk of meat nonetheless and afterward you would endure his words of hatred, all spilling from a man that professed so much love in his quiet moments of regret.

It was not his fault. Not completely. It was you who over reacting that night and he probably lose his patience dealing with you. You forced him to do everything that you want and yet you were not giving him a second to breath. He deserved to be mad on you because of you, because of your childish behavior who never learns how to be patient.

As I look back at everything that happened between us, I knew when it started, it would break me. I knew that I was too much but I can't help it...

And now look what happened! Mark left you! It's been already two days you had lost contact with him. You tried to call him like so many times, calling both of his Italy and Korea number but it keeps going to voicemail. Where he was exactly right now? Did he already hated you and blame you on what happened between you and him?

Where are you now, Mark? Please come back to our home...

In my heart I retract all the bad things I ever said, they were never a reflection on you, only on my inner demons. You worked hard and I only saw what you could not do. In my misplaced entitlement I gave you only passive aggressive rage; I withdrew to punish you and became self-absorbed. Now you're gone, fled to nowhere that I don't even know. I wish you were still by my side, that I could make amends, that it was me you snuggled after dark. I've grown, I've learnt about what really matters, but not soon enough for us. It is a torment I was unprepared for.

The sound of your ringtone echoed whole of your room, making you stop thinking about Mark. You grabbed your phone that still charging beside the bed and unplugged it. It was a call from Mrs. Berto. You picked up her call and she been asking why you didn't send Eva yet. You turned your face to the wall, the clock shows you it's already 9am.

"La manderò presto," * "I'll send to you soon," said you before ended the call.

It's already late for you to open the café. You rushed went to Eva's room and found her still sleeping. Weird. She usually already awake by now.

"Eva... baby... Wake up now. Mummy already late for work, baby," said you while opening the curtains, let the morning light shining her room. You went close to her after that and tried to wake her up again.

"Wake up, princess,"

You whispered to her ears softly. But still she won't wake up. Isn't she went to bed early last night? You touched her hands, wanting to shake her but then you felt her body hot. You became panicked automatically. Oh god, what happens to Eva?

"Eva! Can you hear Mummy? Eva wake up, baby," you tried to shake her body. Your tears started to fall down, one by one droplet, when she didn't respond to you. You quickly took your phone and tried to call Mark. Perhaps he's still in Italy now. You really need him now.

"Please, Mark. Pick up the phone," you mumbled yourself while waiting for him answer your call. But nah, it still turns into voice mail. Oh god! Your eyes already red, nonstop cries worrying about your daughter. Gosh, where is Mark right now?

"Eva, wake up. Please don't scare Mummy like this,"

Suddenly, you heard someone knocked your door from the outside. The first person who's running in your mind right now is Mark. It might be him. He left his keys behind when they both fought and he probably came again after settling his problems. You tried to think positively.

"Mark... Eva! Eva..."

You straight calling Mark's name right after you opened the door. You widen up your eyes when you realized who the one has knocked your door a moment ago. He's not him. He's not Mark. The one in front of you right now is not Mark. He's Jungkook.

"What happens to Eva?" Jungkook also became surprised looking at your wet face, flooded with tears. He quickly went into the house without waiting for you to invite him to. He looked at you seriously.

"Where is she now?" asked him, who didn't know which one Eva's room. You went into Eva's room followed by him. Both of you went close to her bed and you looked Jungkook put his hands on her forehead and neck afterwards.

"She won't wake up, Jungkook. What should we do now?" said you again with endless sobbing. He quickly lifted Eva up.

"Show me where the hospital is or any nearby clinic,"

ⓞ

It's already night and both of you and Jungkook just got back from the hospital. It's kinda chaotic there, there's a lot of people who came over and making you need to wait for Eva's turn. Luckily, she only got high fever and will recover sooner. You turned to Eva's room once you heard the door opened. It was Jungkook came out from her room. He walked towards the kitchen when he noticed you were there. You handed him a coffee mug that you just make.

"You know what bothers me?" he said as he frustratedly pulled at his sleeves.

You paused for short while before letting out a sigh.

"I don't know and I don't want to know," you replied, bitterly.

"He hit you, didn't he?"

You narrowed your eyes as soon you noticed he been looking at your face. You totally forgot about your bruised cheek.

"No he didn't! Why he needs to do that? He's not you!"

"Really? So where is he now?"

"He's ba-back to his hotel," you lied with stuttered words flew from your mouth.

"Venice or Korea?" you looked at Jungkook who seemed mad right now.

"K-Korea," Jungkook surely will hunt him down if you said he was in Venice.

"He went back to Korea? After he hit you? And leaving my sick child behind?!" Jungkook suddenly raised his voice to you, almost giving you a heart attack.

"He didn't hit me, okay!" you shouted at him loudly.

"Yeah, whatever," he walked towards you and lifted your chin up harshly. He looked at your bruised cheek sharply.

"Look, he really did hit you,"

"Fine! So what if he did hit me?! Like you never done to me before,"

You pushed his hands off from you and tried to get away from him but then suddenly it makes you lost your balance and almost fell down to the floor. You looked at Jungkook unblinkingly. He just caught you from falling and his hands still grabbing your waist tightly. Both of you and his eyes met. Looking at each other for a moment. You had lost in his eyes for a while.

"What happened to us, Y/N?" asked him awake you up. You let go of his hands and tried to stand properly. You scoffed, uncomfortably. Well maybe this is the perfect time for you to ask him to forget you completely and discussing about Eva's future.

"You changed," said you slowly, turned your face away from looking at him.

"You changed too," replied him. He sounded a little bit disappointed.

"Well I changed because you changed,"

Does it still hurt?

Yes, and I think it always will, at least a little.

But you said you didn't love him anymore.

I don't. But I used to. He had my heart in his hands. He was gentle while he cared, but when he stopped caring, he crushed it, and it won't ever be the same. I gave him everything, and he won't give it back. He chose someone else, even though he already had every piece of me. But time will heal me. Probably not completely, but to the point it only hurts on the bad days. And I'm going to try to only have a few of those.

"I change for you. Why you never notice that?"

"I didn't ask you to change. Have I?"

"How it feels like when you know the one who you love keep hanging around with someone's richer than you, huh? Tell me, Y/N!"

"Did I ever ask you to become a rich person? Or did I ever complaint anything since I lived with you?"

Even though it's happened two years ago but still Jungkook blamed you and Mark the reason of this separation. He always talked about how jealous he was when you with Mark. And how richer Mark was than him. JK Group was built with his jealousy. He wanted to beat Mark and to prove you that he's good enough for you. But this whole damn wealth thingy was never being your main priority. You were not like Jennie. Plus he's still making money by being idol. But what happened? He left BTS just to be damn President of JK Group.

"Do you remember our first day together? Our first touch? Or the first time you told me you love me? The first time I held your face in my hands and kiss you? Or how about that day I decided "I would like you to be with for the rest of my life. I think you're the one," or that fateful day when I ask for your hand?

Do you still remember any of it, Y/N? Because I do. I still do. And those memories burned longer and brighter on my heart, those memories that I know you also have. So why did you do this to me? Why you left me after all the moments we've shared? Why, Y/N? Why?" Jungkook took your hands and making you facing to him.

"Look at me and tell me why?" said him with a strict and forceful voice.

I thought this kind of problems only happens in movies, or in novels I read. It's not supposed to happen in my life. I mean it's you after all. The half of my life, the one I trusted the most, the one I loved the most. But it did happen. The first time I caught you cheating, I forgave you. It hurts so much, but I still keep on forgiving you. My trusts with you are irreparably broken, and could you blame me? But I still choose you to forgive you. I choose to forgive you because I love you. Why can't you do the same for me?

"Why is it matter to you? You already married with Jennie and I'm going to start a new life with Mark," said you bitterly, pushing his hands away.

"Because I love you! I still love you, Y/N. Never in these two years, I did stop thinking of you," you looked at his warm eyes, staring at you with a hope. A hope that it might change your mind and back to him again.

This heartbreak feels cold. It feels like concrete drying in my chest. This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Why is that? Is there part of you that dislikes seeing me happy when you are miserable, Jungkook?

"I hope you will stop thinking about me from now on. Because I did it a long time ago and my heart for you already dies," he sighed when he realized that he can't convince you anymore.

Once you were my sunshine, the one for whom I lit from the inside. I used to feel a frisson of love even if my thoughts turned your way for only a moment. The image of your face once conjured my smile; I would yearn to dive into your eyes. I would have done anything you asked, given you whatever you wished for.

I know they say people turn on the one they feel safest with, make them the target instead of those that might warrant it. But I can't forget what you did, what you said, what you thought is was alright to do to me. With a gun to my head I would never have done those things to you. I would have rather died. So to know how worthless my love was to you is the knife that sets me free, cuts the mooring rope. And I'm better off this way, adrift from your shore, safer.

"I will stop by tomorrow before heading back to Korea," said him before leaving you alone in the kitchen. As soon he closed the door, you burst into tears which you tried to hold it.

They say the pain dulls with time, and that things will get better. But how can things be better when the reason the pain isn't as bad anymore, is because I've forgotten? Over time, the memory of your presence has escaped my mind. I no longer see your face in strangers, and the things we once shared no longer bring tears to my eyes. If getting past the pain means forgetting you, then I choose suffer my entire life.

Suddenly, the door was opened again. You quickly wiped your tears off, thinking maybe Jungkook had left his things here. You went out from the kitchen and realized Mark was in the front door.

You ran towards the door where he already stood still looking at you pitifully. Your tears began to drop again. He looked kinda mess right now.

"Where have you been? I'm so worried about you,"

As soon you reached him, you opened your arms as wide as you can and hugged him tight, leaning your head to his wide chest. You really missed to be in his arms, you missed his muscular arm that you dreamt was wrapped around you as much as you missed the smell of him.

"I'm so sorry making you hurt. I really regret what I did to you,"

You looked his eyes already watery. He wore thousands guiltiness on his face.

"I'm sorry for this," he slowly touched your bruised cheek and gently rubs it. You took his hand off and bringing it into your hands.

"No. It was my fault. I shouted at you and making you mad. I shouldn't say those words to you. You are the best dad to Eva,"

"But still I shouldn't slap you that night. I promised you that I will never hurt you but I broke it..."

"It doesn't matter anymore. I thought you're going to leave me. I tried to call you so many times but you never pick up your phone,"

"I'm sorry," he sighed for a moment. There's pain on his expression, making you more curious and worried about him.

"What happened?" asked you, concerned.

"My dad already gone..." he began to lower his head down, avoid showing his tears from you.

"I'm sorry, Mark..."

That's the only thing you could say to him. You were also speechless with this sudden bad news. Poor Mark. Maybe he couldn't handle this heartbreak plus with the fight between you and him. You reached the back of his neck gently and took his tall body into your arms. You rubbed his back softly, calming him down meanwhile he sobbed onto your shoulder.

"I tried to back here as soon as possible and make up my mistakes to you. I'm sorry making you wait,"

"No, you should stay a little longer. He's your dad after all,"

"But you're the one I want to be with. You are my future now," he lets go the hug and looked at you.

"Let's go back to Korea and get married," said him again smiling while cupped both of your cheeks.

"Huh?" you startled with his sudden confession. Back to Korea? Is that making the chance for you to meet Jungkook again grows bigger? What's on his mind exactly?

"I'm no longer CEO, baby. I took over my dad's position and am not handling hotel in Venice anymore,"

"What?"

"Yeah,"

You became silent for a moment, thinking about his requests. It was so hard for you to decide.

"I know what you worry about. But there's something that more concerning, Y/N. Eva is already two years old now and how long she's gonna stay here? Her nationality is Korea, not Italy. It will bring more trouble if she keeps staying here..."

What Mark had said to you was all true. You can't hide Eva here forever. This will make some problems occurred in the future. You sighed again before entangled your fingers with him and put your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It made you feel so safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to you. Slowly, you nodded your head and gasped. Maybe this the only way for you. By staying with Mark whenever he goes.

"I will," said you with a low voice but enough to make Mark heard you.

"Really?" said him, happily. He even tightened the hug and strokes your hair. You nodded again on his chest. Maybe back to Korea again is not the worst idea.

"I love you,"

Mark kissed you and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as breaths mingled. You ran your fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and you could feel the beating of his heart against your chest.

"I love you too,"