"I hope you will stop thinking about me from now on..."

How can I forget you, Y/N? How can I forget you when you gave me so much to remember? How? You told me to forget you... But tell me how I can forget you when you are the only one who is my mind and heart all the time.

Have you ever been hurt so bad that your whole body is crying? Your heart is aching so much, you can't take a breath. You can't say a word. You can't even make a move. Your mind is set on your pain. You just feel the burning heavy tears streaming down your cheeks. You know, words hurt more than actions especially when it comes from someone who you love so much.

He met her yesterday and the memories came flooding back. It was as if her voice turned on a faucet within him. His heart began pumping water through his veins until his whole body was drowning. Water poured from his mind and began to drip out of his eyes. His soul swam and swam but eventually he was no more than a drop in the ocean. It was then he realized she doesn't need water to drown.

Yeah, it does hurt to know you lost interest in me, kind of like someone punching me in the face. And it also does pain me to walk pass you, pretending we never met and never stayed up all night talking, which feels like a knife through my chest every time. But what truly hurt most, so bad that I can't find the words to explain it, is that you left without a single word, and I keep waiting for a sign or something from you, but I should accept that sometimes, no message is also a message.

He bent his body over and hugging both of his knees at the corner of the bed. His eyes were staring at the glass window, empty. Empty stare but countless thoughts. About everything. He was like that position for over hours, the outlines of this suite were becoming clearer and even the leaves on the trees are looking more green than grey, dawn is here for sure. Only an hour ago the blackness was absolute, but now the mist was visible, silvery. He didn't sleep last night. He just couldn't.

There is a part of me that is desperate to know if my absence has done any damage to you. That there is possibility that you too, experience long restless nights due to the thought of me. That your heart is broken in the same place as mine. I want to know that I'm not the only one hurting from this. I want to know that I actually still meant something to you. The memories are what keep me here, waiting for you from the past two years. But I guess you forgot about them. You moved on so quickly, Y/N.

"Jungkook-ah,"

He turned emotionlessly and found Kino stood at the front door, yawning while scratching his hair. He looked very sleepy. Why he gets up so early though? There are still five hours left before the closing ceremony of Lamborghini Road Show 2019. Yeah, today is the last day he's gonna be here. In San'tAgata Bolognese where the only place that hold his daughter.

"You didn't sleep last night aren't you?" asked Kino more while moving his steps slowly towards him. He then took a sit on a single sofa beside the window, facing Jungkook with his concerning face.

"I did. I just wake up," lied him. Jungkook aware that Kino only woke up by himself early just to come checking him up whether he managed to get into the hotel room safely or not.

"Really? When did you get here?"

"Around 12,"

"What happened? You said that you wanted to bring Eva but I didn't see you like a whole day,"

"She had fever and we went to the hospital,"

Today was a very chaotic for him even though he didn't involve in any road show activities that he supposed to. The main purpose of him went to his ex-wife's house was to bring his daughter, Eva to the road show. He wanted to show Eva what actually her father has been doing in his life. He wanted to show Eva, the cool side of her father, her real father, the biological one that she can be proud of.

But unfortunately, he didn't expect that she will get herself sick. The moment he looked at Y/N hysterically crying as soon she opened the door and mourning Eva's name for several times, his heart was like turning upside down thinking about his daughter's condition. Luckily, the doctor said it was just a high fever and it didn't effect of her health.

"Where's Mark? Isn't he who supposed to bring her there?" Kino started to ask him a kind of question that he hates the most. About that stupid brat.

"I don't know," he sighed for a moment before replying Kino's question.

Seeing Y/N with a bruised cheek and thinking about Mark did hit her and left Italy right away making his anger boiled up once again. If he truly loves her, he will never raise his hands on her. But when Jungkook rethinking it back, he also used to hit her. She was a rose in the hands of those who had no intention of keeping her. She was in a terrible relationship with him and she couldn't talk to anyone. He used to hit her, and in the beginning she told him that if it ever happened again, she would leave him. He swore that it wouldn't and she believed him. And yet he broke her heart over and over again. That was very stupid of him back then. He hates seeing her hurt so much now but he can't do anything to protect her. She just isn't his woman anymore.

The only thing I knew is that I was a second, and she was eternity. I spun in clocks and she swirled in stars and I... I did not deserve her...

She stuck around, not because she had to, but because she loved him and she believed that somehow, one day, he would wake up and be the man that she had fallen in love with so long ago. So for months she would wake up hopefully that things would be different; that today would be the day he brought back everything she was missing; but he ignored her cries and now that she's gone, those tears from her sorrows have become his own. And he can't help but to wonder how things would be different, if he had just taken the time.... to listen...

"I don't know you are really an idiot or just being too generous,"

"What do you mean?" asked Jungkook, didn't get much what Kino tried to say to him.

"Why you still go easy on that bastard?"

He knew who the one that Kino meant was Mark. He's the one who took away both Y/N and Eva from him. His forever rival, Mark Tuan.

"Easy how? What are you talking about, Kino?" his lips curved into a smile. A fake smile that he needs to cover his own feelings.

"Stop pretending, Jungkook..." replied Kino with his straight-face. His eyes still glaring at Jungkook, waiting for his respond.

It's better to pretend not knowing anything rather than leaving his heart more painful. It's more hurting him to talk about their relationship with someone else. He rather let it buried deep down inside where only him that could bear the pain of being losing someone important in his life.

"I'm not pretending. I just don't get it, alright. What exactly you wanna try to say to me?" replied him continued with a small laugh.

"Why you never tell Y/N about Mark's plan? That he's the one who threw you into prison two years ago? That he's the reason behind of your divorcement and making you separate with your own daughter right before you could meet her..."

"Stop. Just please stop, Kino..."

He voiced out slowly, cut Kino's word from talking any further. He just couldn't hear it anymore when someone wanted to know more about their complicated relationship. The love triangle between him, Y/N and Mark. Even he is Kino, his most trusted person for all over the years.

His warm eyes still staring at Kino, gave him a painful sigh. Kino used to ask him the same exact question when Mark first came and threatening him with that false document, the moment he thought he will never loses his wife just because of that irrelevant reason. Kino's question left him hanging for a moment. That was so hard for himself to explain the exact reason behind it because no one ever understands it. Why he let the one who he loves so much to be with someone that literally he can't even stand with within a second?

"You know what, Kino? I had been hurting her like so many times since we both together. I used to hit her and broke her heart over and over again. I can't let her being hurt one more time by knowing what Mark already done to me. She trusts him with all of her life. And I know Mark also really loves her more than I do..."

But the main reason of it was because she's been there for him since day one. Through hell and back, she never once left Jungkook by himself. And he took advantage of that, of everything she offered which was all that she had. So that's why she deserves honesty. She deserves transparency. She deserves someone who respects her enough to never lie to her heart. She deserves appreciation. She deserves loyalty. She deserves someone who would never abuse her trust. She deserves love. She deserves someone who would still be there for her when everyone else has walked away including Jungkook himself. She just deserves someone who's real instead of him who literally can't provide anything for her.

I'm going to set you free because I don't deserve you at all, Y/N.

He remembers when she meant nothing to him. He wasn't aware of her existence but now she's the reason he has these awful bags under his eyes; he stays up till 4am thinking about her. It's bizarre how a person could mean nothing to him but in a matter of hours, days, weeks, months and years, she could mean the world to him even if she make his heart drown in a sea of regret and leave a hurricane of bittersweet memories behind.

He bumped into a girl on the street and realizes it was her. She is his once-lover, history and former universe. She is the girl that he left. He broke her heart once. She's even more beautiful than he ever remember. But her eyes didn't light up like they used to when she saw him. That makes he felt a gentle prick in his heart. He realizes she has moved on. Her heart is now strong again, and she doesn't care about him no more. Jungkook realizes he has lost her. It hurts more than he could imagine. He fights the urge to fall to his kneel with the blow. She is no longer his, and he no longer holds power over her. When she walks away, he realizes he let his world go twice.

I wish you knew how much this hurts. But then again, no, I don't. It would be too embarrassing to have you know that I cry at night, that I wish you were here, that I pretend I'm holding your hand and that I relate all these heartbreak and bittersweet songs to you.

ⓞ

A few hours later,

"Where are we, Mr. Candyman?"

He looked towards Eva who still holding his hand tight when they both entering Lamborghini building. She looked so curious and excited at the same time. Maybe it was her first experience coming to this kind of place. Jungkook finally been able to spend time with his own daughter today and thank god Y/N seems not to oppose his request. Maybe she's just too happy that her fiancé already back to her again. Seriously seeing Mark again this morning really makes him more frustrated. How dare that shameless loser came appear in front of him after what he had done to Y/N and leaving her by herself.

"You will see a lot of fancy cars here, Eva..." he sweeps her hair back to her ears, showing her round chubby cute face. He never expected that Eva will grow up totally looking like him. Her face, her eyes and her smile. He proudly wants to say that Eva is exactly a resemblance of Jungkook.

When he loses Eva two years ago, only God knows how he was on that time. Well a dad hurts too. People don't always see the tears a dad cries. His heart was broken too when his beloved child been separated from him. He tried to hold it together and tried to be strong. Even though his whole world had gone wrong. He went to his day doing what he's supposed to do. But a piece of his heart had been ripped away. So when he's alone he lets out his pain and his tears came down like pouring rain. His world crashed in all around him. All that was bright has gone completely dim. He searches for answers but none are to be found. Who offers to help a dad up when he's hit the ground? He smiles through his fears, struggles trying to hold in his tears. But what other people see on the outside is not always real. A man like him doesn't always show how they really feel. He feels he has to be strong to keep looking for her precious daughter but dads hurt too all the time when it comes to their child.

You are a masterpiece, Eva. God says so. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. You are loved. I love you. Your mother loves you. Your grandparents love you. Most importantly, God loves you. You are a gift. Knows that your dad always have your back. No matter how bad the day is, how mean other people are to you, or how hard the choice you have to make soon, I always behind you. I don't care if you only got to know me as someone stranger. I always praying for you and my home will always be a safe place where you can heal your wounds and be encouraged.

"Do they have candy too here?" asked Eva excitedly while keeping her head busy looking the surrounding. Jungkook could only laugh seeing her cute action requested her favorite thing.

"I think they do sell candy at the café over there. Wanna grab some drinks too, princess?" replied Jungkook, pointed his finger towards the café where located right in front of them. He saw Eva quickly nodded her head while smiling and tried to pull his hand with her small softy hands.

"Can you treat me, Mr. Candyman?"

"Well I guess I have to. I mean I did not get that nickname for nothing right?"

Since he's been treating Eva candies on their first met, she only knew Jungkook as 'Mr.Candyman', not more than that. Never in a glance of her mind to think that he's actually her real father. He's just a stranger that coming from nowhere and claiming he was her parent's old friend. He also couldn't force her to accept him into her life real quick because he knows that's not gonna happen and probably will scare her more. He doesn't mind if his own daughter knowing him as another people but at least there's a tiny spot in her life about his existence.

Please do remember me, Eva... if there's no tomorrow for us anymore.

"Why you wanted to follow me today?" asked Jungkook after getting both of them seated. He put a milk drink and a few candies right in front of Eva. She looks so moody now unlike a few minutes ago.

"I'm scare of Daddy," answered Eva, which making Jungkook a little bit of surprised. Scare? She's fear of a man that she thought was her father? Strange.

"Why? Why you need to scare of him, Eva? He is your dad," said Jungkook, tried to calm her down who looks obviously frightened. Jungkook quickly stood up and came close to her who sat across the table. He put her on his lap and trying to reassure her.

"I saw Daddy hit Mummy... and Mummy cried. Eva scare Daddy will hit Eva too," said her sobbingly while hugging Jungkook's neck. It's so unbelievable those words coming from this two years old kid. How could Mark letting this kind of violence been watching by his daughter?

"Is this why you been sick yesterday? Are you crying all day because of this, Eva?" he felt Eva's head nodded on his shoulder.

"Did Daddy always hit Mummy?"

"No..."

"Maybe what you saw is not true, Eva. Do you think your dad really loves your mom?"

Eva nodded and lifting her head from Jungkook's shoulder. Her beautiful teary eyes keep looking at him unblinkingly.

"If your dad truly loves your mom, he's not gonna hit her. Have you seen your mom today? She's happy right after your dad came back to your house again. If your mom hates your dad now, they probably gonna fight again,"

He's not gonna put some hatred words to make Eva hates Mark more. That's not a right thing to do. He saw Y/N today and she totally looks different than last night. Maybe she already accept Mark's mistake upon her and he doesn't have any right to make both of them fought back. He just wanted to win Eva's heart fairly.

"But... but I saw Mummy fell down to the floor and cried..." said her again while wiping her tears.

"Yeah maybe your mom fell accidently and... your dad went out looking for some medicine after seeing your mom cried. Who knows right?"

He spoke to her yesterday and everything about her being hit by Mark were never shown any hates or regret. She genuinely still wants to accept him back. And there's nothing he could do to oppose her decision. Her heart, her feelings now all Mark's now.