☁️ ☁️

i looked at the pregnancy test in my hand. there were two lines.

"n-no...no way." i muttered silently.

to some, those two lines could be the best news. and to others, those two lines could be the worst news.

"this can't be right. this has to be wrong." i'm very dizzy and don't know what to do.

tsk.

"i'm going to take another test."

-

this happened about a month ago. the day when taehyung and jennie announced something that was not expected to happen.

"we're dating. today's our first day as a couple." said jennie, enthusiastically.

as a foodie i am, i suddenly lost my appetite.

"what?" i asked, to be sure.

"taehyung and i are dating." said jennie once again.

i shouldn't be like this. they're my best friends, i should be happy no matter what they decide.

"ah..really? i see." why am i like this? this is so freaking awkward.

think of something, chaeyoung.

"con-congratulations.." i continued while let out a small laugh. an awkward laugh to be exact.

"thank you, chae!"

as i watched the scene in front of me, they looked so match to each other. people will said they're match made in heaven. yeah, that's it.

jennie, taehyung and i have been friends since middle school. to be more exact, taehyung and i had been friends since childhood. and jennie became our friend later on, but since the three of us had been friends for so long, it was difficult to remember who exactly became friends with who first.

i thought the three of us would remain friends forever. i didn't realize we were allowed to do that. i didn't think we could be more than friends.

i ate silently. this food should be enough to distract me. but, why isn't it?

i went numb and i had a hard time thinking. for the sake wanting to protect our perfect trio, i had kept my feelings for taehyung hidden.

if i known i could, even just so i wouldn't let the time i spent liking him go to waste, i would've at least told taehyung how i felt.

seeing the two of them together, these two who have no idea how i feel.

i felt a little betrayed.

as i went home all alone that night, i let it all out.

wrapped in a blanket, i cried my heart out. i don't even know how many tissues i wasted.

but i did know that there wouldn't be a happy ending for my unrequited love.

my sniffle could be heard every corner of the room.

"i'm okay." i reassured myself.

so i wasn't reckless enough to want to have a random one night stand just because of that.

that is.

until jennie, my way-too-honest, oversharing friend, told me something a few days after that night.

"hey, taehyung's technique is impeccable." i could see her face blushing as she said that. what is she trying to convey?

"technique?" i asked, a bit blur by what she just said.

"he is definitely a man. if i knew he was this good, i'd have slept with him sooner."

huh? i know where this is going.

"last night with taehyung..." i just couldn't hear her rambling about her and taehyung.

kissing that part, this part. touching here and there.

how am i supposed to react?

"yeah, he was really good." jennie end her story as she landed on my bed. so in love.

"ha..really? you guys.." i just don't know what to say. but i could feel that my face is burning. is it that good that taehyung can make jennie feel?

"what?" jennie looked at me confused.

"uhm..you must have had a good time!" i said as i turned to the laptop screen.

"yeah, i'm telling you it was good." she just hadn't said that to me, right?

i just couldn't contain myself anymore, i teared up. of course jennie didn't see me. she will definitely get it wrong.

"when will our park chaeyoung get to experience something like this? our chaeyoung, who dreams of being the perfect teacher ethically and educationally. so she made sure to stay a virgin."

why is she telling me this? i almost thought we were actually best friends.

"i wonder if there's a nice man out there waiting to make her an honest woman.." i just don't want to hear it anymore.

i had enough.

so shameless, jennie doesn't even realize how much her words are hurting me.

but, it makes me think.

what about that technique?

was it really good?

or maybe, it was just good for them.

technique, huh?

but then, i remembered something. pretty sure i put it on this table the other day. but, where is it? i saw a small card that came out of my journal.

that's..that's the business card jennie gave me. i still remember it clearly what she said when she passed this card to me.

"this is a high-end members-only bar! since you never know what could happen, i'll get you a membership! hehe."

i put down the card harshly on the table.

yeah, who says i can't experience something like that?!

"i'm going out for the night!" i screamed on top of my lung, determined to do it tonight. now or never.

i had made a decision.

and i was about to end the virginity i had guarded for twenty-five years.

-

i looked at all the pregnancy tests on the table. all of it showing bad results, two red lines indicate i'm pregnant.

haa..what do i do now?

"chae, what are you doing?" jennie suddenly burst into my room without knocking, making me startled and panicked.

"hey! knock before you come in!" i scolded her while trying to hide the scattered pregnancy tests on the table with my upper body.

"since when have we ever knocked?" she asked, confused.

huh?

"what are you doing?" she asked again, looking at my awkward position. what am i even doing? i don't know!

"th-this? i-i'm exercising!" shoot, why am i even stuttering?

"oh..yeah?" she is easy to fool. sorry, jennie.

"i think i'm going to need the stamina." i tried to do the push-ups in front of the makeup table. yes, hopefully she believes me.

"well, then. keep at it."

"yeah, all right." phew, that was close. let it go, please.

until when i need to do this stupid push-ups.

"is that what you thought i'd say? you're looking very suspicious!" i let out a small scream when jennie was right behind me. easy my ass!

at this point, she might see all the pregnancy tests. should i just tell her the truth?

"what are do-huh?" she asked again.

but i was completely unaware that she already saw the pregnancy test, since i was trying to catch my breath again, "ah, you scared me!"

"a pregnancy test? two lines?" she took it and examined the test on her hand.

shit, what in the world..

"jen, that's..um..you see what happened is.." what? what i should say? i couldn't think a proper answer.

"did you have a boyfriend hidden away? i'm disappointed you didn't tell me." she said, showing her sad face.

"no, it's not that.." ish, something like this shouldn't happen.

"so who's the father? is he a good man?" she asked out of the blue.

there was a long silent since jennie's waiting for my answer. i should tell her the truth right? she won't be mad at me right?

"you see..i..don't know." i answered her while hanging my head low. scared to face her after giving my answer.

"you what?! you don't know who the father is?! what are you saying?! what happened?!" i'm dead. she shakes my soul out of me.

"i mean i know who he is, but i don't know who he is!" i said, trying to protect myself from her.

"are you kidding me right now?! explain it in a way i can understand!"

"what i'm saying is-i went to that bar you told me about last time. that night.." i don't even complete my sentence when she interrupted.

"don't tell me you had a one-night stand?"

i nodded. that's true, though.

"what?! why would you do something like that, chae?!" she shake the shit out of me again.

"aah..you're the one that got me a membership!" i snapped back. she just can't stop shaking me.

"i didn't think you'd really go! and you should've made sure he used a condom!! i can't believe you're pregnant!" jennie started to scold me again.

yes, i'm that stupid.

"ah..forget it. it's my fault for telling you about that bar. let's go to the clinic today. what time are you off work today?" she added.

even though the shake was quite..strong, but i can't believe she still care about me! i completely forgot what she said about me the other day, and i'm so grateful to have her by my side.

i love you, jennie! sorry for underestimating you.

"i should be able to get off around five.."

"then wait for me, i'll come pick you up. okay?"

"okay, thank you."

-

coming back from school, we straight out go to the farthest clinic from the school. i was afraid if there're my students or another teacher saw me here, and that's definitely something to not proud of.

i was even wearing a sunglasses to get in here.

"is this the clinic? jennie?" i asked while fixing my shades.

she looked so annoyed with me. so funny.

"why are you wearing that?" jennie asked.

"as you're well aware, i'm in a position where i need to be a model citizen. i need to make sure i'm not recognized." i stated my reasons.

"you know what? you stick out more with those on! and so what if you've come to see a gynecologist?! it's not like you've never seen one before! take those off immediately!" she babbled.

tsk. she's true though. but, still..

i take off my sunglasses and put it on my bag.

"i know you'd be like this, so i brought you to a luxurious clinic. where you won't have to worry about bumping into people you know. so stop worrying, okay? of course i thought of this ahead of time." she continued.

"i'm thankful that you brought me to a luxurious clinic. but.." who is going to pay for it? i wish i could say that before i saw someone familiar coming towards us.

huh? what?!

taehyung?! he is here as well?!

jennie saw my freak out face and turned around to see who behind her.

"oh, hey. you're here." she said.

"yeah." short reply from taehyung.

i took jennie's hand as i said, "h-hey, jennie. why is he here?!"

"ah, i told him to meet us here. i thought three heads would be better than two." she said casually.

"you should have still asked me first!" this is like invading my privacy, though taehyung is also my best friend.

"why? we're all friends, aren't we? we've all known each other for forever. we've seen each other long enough that this wouldn't be weird." she had the point. but i had my own reason too.

"that's not what i'm saying. forget it." i lower my head, holding something back.

do you really think i'd want the guy i liked all these years to know that i might become an unwed mom?!

what's the use anyway.

"so, you really don't have any info on that man?" jennie suddenly asked.

"why?"

"you're pregnant. shouldn't you try and track him down? what are you going to do by yourself?"

"i think he said his main job was to monitor.." i tried to remember what that man said that night.

"monitor? what is he? in security?" jennie seemed not satisfied with my answer.

"i'm not sure. he didn't say anything about security, just that his main job was to monitor." i explained.

"isn't that what he meant? anyway..and?"

i tried to remember every detail of him. that night, he was like an angle straight from heaven.

"and..hmm he's really good-looking. he had a nice voice. and.." i just said whatever in my mind.

"what?! i don't want to know things like that! give me info that will help identify him." she looked dumbfounded hearing my description.

i looked away, feeling shy with what i said.

how am i supposed to remember everything from that night? i was so tipsy.

"i don't know! that's all i remember. we didn't share personal info and it was my first time." i said.

"so was it good? you must be proud of yourself. you understand the severity of your situation, don't you?" i just want to escape today.

"i know. i get it. it's been a crazy day." i told her.

jennie just kept silent. probably don't want to argue anymore or else this might getting worst.

"hey, isn't that the uniform the kids at your school wear?" my eyes snapped open as soon as jennie said that.

what?! where?!

i looked everywhere to find that one uniform from my school.

"you said i wouldn't have to worry about running into anyone here!" today is really a crazy day too huh?

"of course, it's hard for a student to come to a luxurious.." just before jennie could finish her sentence, i saw the girl who is meant by jennie.

why she looks so familiar? short black hair.

isn't that..

"jeon ji-hyo?!" did i said that out loud? not too loud for her to hear me i guess.

"jeon ji-hyo? who is that?" jennie asked.

"i'm her homeroom teacher." i said as i noticed ji-hyo with a man beside her.

what are they doing here? why am i so nervous? i don't feel good about that man.

"wait! i don't like the look of that! who is that man with her?!" i asked.

"why? i'm sure he's family or her legal guardian or something." jennie replied.

"there's something off about them! could she be in a situation like me?" there's no way my student will do something like that. but, i really don't feel good about them.

"hey, not everyone comes to the gynecologist for the same reason you're he-huh?" before jennie could complete her sentence, i quickly got up and went towards ji-hyo and that man.

"no!! jeon ji-hyo!" i exclaimed.

ji-hyo turned towards me when she heard someone calling her name. she looked as confuse as me.

"what are you doing here?!" i asked her and made a quick hug session.

don't worry ji-hyo, i'm here to help you. i can feel her. we're both in the same situation.

"huh? miss park?" she looked terrified when she saw me.

"ji-hyo, don't worry. i'll be there for you. i'll help you, okay?" i tried to calm her down. this must be hard for her.

i sobbed thinking how come a girl in front of me is in the same situation as i am? she must thought there's no one to protect her.

she tried to explain what happened, but being the good teacher i am, she doesn't need to explain. i can tell everything from her face.

"what?! what are you saying?" i just couldn't hear her explanation as i was a crying mess.

but then, i remembered the man beside her just now. he must be the reason why she's here. where's he?!

"you!" i looked at the man and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

he's wearing a nice clothes and perfume, but yet he's the reason why ji-hyo is here.

"you're an adult! you should've acted like one!" i scolded him.

he is so tall that i'm only as tall as his chest.

when i looked at his face, i froze.

wait a damn minute??!!

my heart was beating fast.

this is the man..the man that i spent a whole night with.