《Dying to be thin》Chapter 11

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I woke up and didn't know where I was. After five minutes i realised, I wasn't dead. My mum was clutched onto my hand with her head on the bar at the side of the bed. Why was she crying? She hated me this morning. There was tubes going in and out of me everywhere, why were they trying to save me? I tried to kill myself, they obviously know I don't want to be here. My mum soon realised I was awake,

"Lauren oh my gosh I am so happy you are awake, I am so so so sorry and I promise I won't make you do anything you don't want to do again and if you want to get in touch with your dad then I promise that you can as much as it would pain me to do that and I am so sorry for making you do this to yourself and making you feel this way and I promise we are going to get through this together okay?"

I removed the oxygen mask off my face and weakly forced the words "It wasn't your fault mum, I love you so much."

Her smile made me realise that it was a stupid thing to try and do but still, after I had gotten out of hospital I'd still be made to go to school wouldn't I. After around twenty minutes of being awake a nurse came in.

"Hey Lauren, how are you feeling?" she politely asked.

"I don't really feel anything." which was true, I was numb and had been for a while now. She told me that she was hooking the tube going to my stomach into some processed food. She couldn't. I begged her not to, I screamed, cried trying to convince her I wasn't hungry but it didn't stop her. As she exited I begged my mum to take the tube out of me.

"Lauren I can't, this is what's best for you, trust me."

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I tugged at the tube whilst watching the fat which I had worked so hard to get out of me being pumped back into me without me wanting it. As it got closer and closer to entering my stomach I panicked even more. I was aching, the agony of this being forced into me was disgusting, I was frightened and wanted it to stop. I wanted to get out of me. I asked my mum if I could go to the bathroom but I guess they all know what was going on by then, they'd fitted a tube in me so I was able to go to the toilet without actually going anywhere. This was awful. I stared into a blank space. There was another knock at the door, hopefully another nurse to get this nauseating tube out of me.

"Mason?"

"Hey, I seen there was an ambulance at your house, are you okay?" he asked innocently.

"Are you being serious? Is this some sort of joke? this is all because of you and your stupid games. That status you tagged Jodie and Tamsin in about me was horrible. Get out, Mason."

"Lauren, I don't what you're talking about? I don't have Facebook, If I did something like that I wouldn't be here right now would I?"

I questioned myself as to whether to believe him or not. I moved across the bed so he could sit on the edge.

"Look!" he said, he pulled up his internet and app history on his phone and started scrolling. There was no Facebook anywhere. "I promise, I don't have Facebook at all, what was said?"

I told him what had happened and I didn't care that my mum heard, she deserved to know. My mum opened her bag and passed me my phone, "here." she said, "Log in on there and show us what was said." I logged onto my Facebook and shown them the status and shown Mason the messages with who ever was on his account. He took the phone off me and began to write a status on my account. I watched as his lips perched and nose flared and breathing got heavier, I could tell he was angry. He wrote:

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Hey guys, this is Mason Harvey on Lauren's account, unfortunately Lauren is in hospital as of a suicide attempt because of someone childish who we have a pretty clear idea of who. If you're reading this and you know that you made the fake account of me which was obviously jealousy because me and Lauren were getting along, delete it before we get the police involved. To those of you who don't really know Lauren or for those who do know her and want to know how she is, she's fine, just a bit shaken up. If you've got nothing nice to say then don't but if you want to leave a nice message I'm sure she will get back to you, thanks guys :)

I read it and a tear fell from my eye, I have never had anyone stick up for me like this before. For a moment I realised that I didn't want to die but I didn't quite know the reasons for fighting. After an hour and a half of being awake, I felt tired, I decided to go back to sleep.

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- Jodie's POV -

I hadn't seen Lauren for a while, I felt horrible for sending her that message, I was her only friend, the only person who she could talk to and seeing her with that new kid, Mason, made me so angry. When I got home I decided that I would message her, but not off my account. I made a fake account of Mason asking what she was saying about hating someone, I overheard when I walked past, her answer was Tamsin. She obviously didn't hate me that much if she didn't mention me. I was still annoyed at her though, she didn't tell me anything anymore and maybe what I was about to do was going to get us even. I posted a status about her and commented on Masons account and Tamsin was commenting on hers, 'Kill yourself.' 'She's such a fat attention seeker.' 'She's a useless whore.' I logged out of 'Masons' account and threw my self onto my bed and burst in to tears. I didn't want to lose her but she was making me feel like I had done something wrong. I just wanted her to understand how she was making me feel.

I logged onto my Facebook the night after this all happened because I didn't see her at school, I wanted to apologize, I went onto her profile and seen that there had been a status posted 8 minutes ago. She tried to commit suicide? and Mason was blaming me. I was blaming myself. How could I be so selfless? My best friend tried to kill herself because of me. How many people want that to happen. None. I had to go and see her and tell her what had happened, even if she hated me, she deserved to know the truth. I inboxed her.

Jodie Cartwright

4.25pm

Hey Lauren, I am so sorry, I'll explain when I see you, can I come to the hospital?

Lauren Roscoe

4.28pm

Hi it is Mason, she's sleeping right now but I'm sure you can come and wait for her to wake up, I'm staying for as long as she wants me to so I will see you here.

I was happy that Lauren had finally found someone who she could talk to and trust other than me, I needed to apologize to them both and most importantly be there for my best friend.

When I got to the hospital I had the biggest scare of my life, this could not be happening.

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