I lay in bed reminiscing over what happened today. Mason was just what I needed, maybe he had Facebook, mum still wasn't back from work for another half an hour, maybe I could reactivate just to check? For the first time in forever I hadn't made myself sick for a whole day, I hadn't even thought about food at all. I ate an apple and kept it down. This was a major step for me, did I deserve it? My fingers trembled as I typed in my e-mail and password. Finally I was on my news feed. One problem, I didn't know his last name. I typed in 'Mason' on the search bar and there was 5698 results, there was no way I was looking through all of them. I decided to see if Jodie had him as a friend, I remember him saying he chose sport as an option to study and Jodie had sport on Mondays. I went onto Jodie's profile and clicked on her friend list and typed in Mason. There he was 'Mason Harvey'. I decided to inbox him. He didn't reply, maybe he didn't know how to use Facebook properly yet. Ten minutes later he replied 'Hey, who was that girl you said you hated today?x' I freaked out, he put a kiss! I didn't put one first, he did. I was so happy, I responded 'Tamsin Williams, she's a stuck up rat haha x' I didn't think anything of it until five minutes later.

I got a notification 'Mason Harvey tagged you and two others in a status' oh no, what has he wrote, is it good? is it bad? I clicked the notification. 'Told you she wasn't so innocent Tamsin;) Glad you got rid of her Jodie! Fat liar she is!' followed by a screen shot of my message about Tamsin. How could he do this? I thought I found someone who I could trust, I couldn't even delete this because it was posted by him. There was fifteen minutes until mum was home, I watched the comments escalate for five minutes. 'Kill yourself.' 'She's such a fat attention seeker.' 'She's a useless whore.' why were they saying this about me? What had I done wrong? I deactivated once again.

I froze. My eyes filled up, I threw myself to the floor hitting myself for my own stupidity. How could I be so stupid? I knew I shouldn't have told him what I did. I'm such a mess. Why am I still here? My eyes were so puffy that I couldn't see past my own hand when it was held out in front of me. Is this really what my life has come to? Why was he being so nice to Jodie and Tamsin? What do they have that I don't? I needed to let my emotions out in a way other than crying, the only other way I know.

I pulled myself up off the ground and strolled distortedly to the bathroom. 'Kill yourself.' 'She's such a fat attention seeker.' 'She's a useless whore.' The words kept going round in my head, it was a vicious cycle. How long must this go on for before I can be gone forever? There was ten minutes until mum was home and I knew exactly what I was going to do with the time.